Life is so confusing
I decided to take a small break from my poetry and write something to see if anyone feels the same way I do.
I have a huge problem with myself. I sometimes feel like I was born as the wrong person or I am just a lost cause....A mistake. No It is not my parents fault I feel this way I know I was planned and wanted from them. I just feel like I don't know who I am sometimes. I feel so lost. It hurts so bad sometimes. It literally feels like I am driving myself insane. I can not think of any qualities about myself that I like or appreciate. No matter how many people tell me I am beautiful I just do not believe it. I feel like I have failed at life because I do not know what I want out of this! I do not know what to do with myself. Should I go to college? For what? What do I even enjoy anymore? Should I just settle for a go no where job? I graduated high school I guess that is at least something to be proud of especially when the state I graduated from tends to have a high drop out rate. In high school I wanted to do music but I just told myself that dream would never happen because I am so afraid to expose myself like that in fear of rejection. I use to want to act, become a photographer, makeup artist you name it I had high dreams and I thought they would take me somewhere. Yet here I am present day not feeling good enough. Should I have gave up ? I am not sure because I can not even answer if I want it anymore. Maybe I am a nobody destined to do nothing great. I will die and only a handful of people will know my name. When they die its like I never existed. I know I am young and I have my life ahead of me but is it possible I failed myself? I mean why do I put myself down so much? Why do I have these feelings? most importantly.....does anyone feel the same?
This was not meant to bring anyone down I just wanted to see if anyone was feeling the same. If so then at least I am not alone.