Living with Manic Bi-polar disorder
Living with Bi-Polar disorder and not actually knowing what it is that is wrong with you is a scary thing. For the longest time I thought it was normal to talk way to fast, run around the house cleaning everything in site, going days without sleep etc. But this was not the case.
One day, long ago, I had to finally admit that there was something really wrong with me. I broke down and saw my doctor, she prescribed some medicine and sent me home. Not telling me what was wrong with me. So trusting my doctor I took the meds. I complied with everything and still the problems persisted. Shortly I turned to a therapist. Low and behold....... Bi-Polar! Well the thought alone scared the crap out of me. What was Bi-polar? How is it going to affect my life and how I live, my relationships etc.....
Well needless to say I've done tons of research and learned that I can control most of my 'mood swings' quite easily without the form of medication or any other treatment. Now don't ask me to explain just how I control these things, cuz I really just do it.
Lucky for me though, my bi-polar disorder has only affected me in the form of lots of 'manic' episodes. I've never really suffered from the depression side of it. And that is the side that you mostly hear about. I get, at times, where I won't sleep for a day or so, I'll have this need to clean the house and it can never seem to get clean enough for me (and no this is not a form of OCD) I'll become obsessed with something (reading a book, writing a letter, anything really) and until that task is complete I won't quit. I often get very manic in my job. If things aren't done a certain way, or I feel pressured into getting things done in a timly manner I tend to almost 'flip out' if you will.
But lucky for me I'm learning more and more how to deal with these episodes and they actually come less and less frequent. I know one of my secrets to dealing with the 'manicness' that is bi-polar is to physically remove myself from anything that happens to triger it. If I'm starting to suffer from being unable to sleep I'll pop a sleeping pill. I'm not say that if you are bi-polar and you can't sleep the best result for you will be to pop a pill. You should see your doctor and see what will work best for you. As I know myself and what my health care provider has discussed, some of my actions are going to benefit me and this is in no way telling you how to deal with it. So please do not use this post as that.
This is my personal journey with Bi-polar disorder. And it is a rough road to go down. Especially when the 'normal' people in society think of us with this disease as 'whiners' or 'faking it'
So please if you feel like this might relate to you, see your doctor or therapist, get the testing done and find the best course of action for you. I choose not to do the meds (besides the occasional sleeping pill) because I personally don't like the 'zombie' feeling or state that they put me in.
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