Low Self-Esteem

Author W. K. Hayes

Get off the self-pity quick and get happy!

Okay, so I actually had several ideas for more articles in between promising to write one about self-esteem and actually starting to write about self-esteem. Therefore, without any more delays…maybe…I can get on with the importance of self-esteem.

A person with low self-esteem is just as vain as a person who thinks they are all that and a bag of chips. Both are as equally vain and both can destroy a relationship almost as quickly as money problems.

In my time, I have seen guys that looked like cartoons on two legs with some really pretty girls and I’ve seen fairly nice looking men with some rather unattractive women. So, how did that happen? In both cases, love was blind. They seemed to get along great and all was going well at first, making the saying about love being blind, very true. Then, it hits all at once. The girl becomes overly jealous because she notices her friends think he is hot. For the same reason, he starts getting jealous because his friends think she is yummy looking.

Either way, this jealous partner becomes more domineering and controlling. They start asking you: “Where are you going”, "When will you be back”, “Did you really get stuck working late” and, my personal all time favorite, they start going through your personal possessions and digging in your wallet or purse, checking the numbers on your cell phone.

That is when it hits you that the person you love doesn’t trust you and a relationship without trust is dead. Encase you didn’t get that the first time, “A RELATIONSHIP WITHOUT TRUST IS DEAD”. My saying…copyrighted.

Is there anything you can do to help a person with trust issues thanks to a low self-esteem? Trying to change someone is not going to work and having someone tell you they can change is also another great lie. Now, before you say it is possible…it is not, nor should it be. If the person you are with needs to change in some way then they are not perfect for you. After all, true love is acceptance. If you have to change a person…are they really, right for you?

Now, I hope you see what a low self-esteem does to others. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself and dragging others down with you. Instead, take some pride in yourself. If you are overweight, lose the weight. You were not born overweight and there is absolutely no reason to stay overweight unless you are looking for pity. Yes, I am harsh but I believe you have the ability to do anything simply by doing it. If you want to lose weight, become more active. Go for walks and spend more time cleaning around the house. You would be amazed at how much weight you can lose with these two simple steps. You do not need a fancy diet and you really do not need fancy exercise equipment. The only thing you do need is to stop whining, feeling bad for yourself and do something about it. You will not be any good to anyone in any relationship until you do.

You have great potential and I still believe anyone can do anything if, they try hard enough. Besides, taking a walk around the track at the high school, keeping a steady schedule of chores around the house and soon enough, the weight will start to come off.

Now, should your low self-esteem comes from people talking you down and telling you that you were worthless half your life, as they have done me…flip them the bird and get away from those losers no matter what it takes. You are worth everything to this world. Even the smallest choices you make have the greatest influence others, lives. So, kick the weeds out of your garden and follow your dreams up until your final breath. This life is too short to waste it on negative people, which, coincidentally, really do have low self-esteem.

I remember there was one woman I met. She had a sleepy eye that rather threw her looks off center. Even then, she was very attractive and she knew it. Being imperfect had no ill effect on her whatsoever. Do not get me wrong. She is far from vain or prideful but she carries herself in a manner that lets you know that she is very happy with who she is and how she looks.

The point being…love yourself for whom you are. If you do not like something about yourself, that is your problem and you really should not let it hold you back nor should you use it as a crutch for being abusive towards others. You will only isolate yourself and soon realize that no one wants to be around you if you have a poor attitude. So, be happy, think positive and be good to those around you. Do not worry about being overweight or flawed. Instead, focus on being happy and doing the best you can to make others happy too. Always let your best qualities shine through and the world will love you for it. In the past forty years, I have yet to meet a good-natured person that was alone unless they chose to be. Thanks for stopping by and reading my article. Have a great day and remember…be positive. Life is too short.


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Comments 12 comments

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Pachuca213 6 years ago

thats a bitch slap of truth right there...thanks!

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W. K. Hayes 6 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Being happy is the only way to live. :-)

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kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

great message, truly. I only hope self esteem does not depend or get dictated from looks or love. ie; my boyfriend is good looking and I am not, therefore I have low self esteem or by love as well. I agree it comes from a place where so many factors have created it's life. Ie; I have very low self esteem in a few areas and good self esteem in others, even too high self esteem in some ha. All from outside forces which yes, I think you have a choice to work on improving anything. But Vanity I do not believe someone can, almost like a part of your make up. Guess that's just my 2 cents. Really good hub. Voted Up

PS Your hopefully going to be smiling between now and this time tomorrow-nope-no hints


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schoolgirlforreal 5 years ago from USA

Superb article, enjoyed it :)

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W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Hi Kimberlyslyrics, I'm glad you enjoyed the article. I really appreciate your own thoughts regarding self-esteem. Take care.

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W. K. Hayes 5 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Hi schoolgirlforreal, I'm glad you enjoyed reading my article about low self-esteem. Hopefully, I'll have more articles written in the near future. I haveanother novel to finish and then I'll be right back to work.

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afro's mistake 5 years ago from dorothys kansas

great work! i love it!

the title caught my eye because i felt as though it had a lot to do with myself. I remember when i was younger i first started liking girls and they liked me back, it was so easy back then! but as i got older i slowly became more insecure infact i believe my insecurities actually fuled some of my egocentrism! i used to say " i know she likes me, but i have no idea why.." and i kept this mindset up for a while untill i met one of the most beautiful ladies ever! and she actually liked me back. we didnt end up working out but later on i learned an important lesson and that was that "it was my very self that stopped me from getting the women i wanted", all i really did have to do was be myself and it all worked out!

Logo Design Contests 4 years ago

i was looking for these types of information for a long time

woop 3 years ago

okay my friend has low self esteem reasons: She is not the most attrative person in the world and she knows it i try to help talk t her tell her she pretty but that not good because when i tell her that and i see a realtive or friend they say look how beautiful or gorg. just for short, she is and boys look at me and sometimes when i catch them looking a her they look away and blush but she gets happy and sad happy cause they look at her and sad beacuse its not the cute boys her parents fight but im like her sister 2 her and we known each other since 1 st grade so can you give me advice on how to help her thanks

woop 3 years ago

when i said hoe beautiful and gorg. she is i meant me just to clear any confusion

woop 3 years ago

sorry i meant HOW not the other word

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W. K. Hayes 3 years ago from Bryson City, North Carolina Author

Self-esteem is a hard pill to swallow. Too much self-esteem makes a person seem shallow. Not enough...and well, you get the picture. If I might ask, how old is your friend? A lot of the way men think is dependent on their age which will help me to draw a better conclusion for your friend.

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