Loyalty Begins at Self (Perspectives)

Grant Cochrane & renjith krishnan @ freedigitalphotos.net
Grant Cochrane & renjith krishnan @ freedigitalphotos.net | Source

Everything we do, do have a purpose. Achieving these purposes keeps us happy and contented.

Let’s contemplate -

AKARAKINGDOMS @ freedigitalphotos.net
AKARAKINGDOMS @ freedigitalphotos.net

The purpose of sleep:

The purpose of sleep is to rest and regain strength.


If we suffer any kind of sleep disorder we are not achieving the purpose of sleep and will feel without any doubt discontented if not deeply unhappy.

The purpose of eating:

The purpose of eating is to stay alive. Any deviation in achieving this basic purpose will affect us negatively.

Grant Cochrane @ freedigitalphotos.net
Grant Cochrane @ freedigitalphotos.net
sdmania @ freedigitalphotos.net
sdmania @ freedigitalphotos.net

The purpose of work:

The purpose of work is to survive.

No work, no pay; no pay, no bread; no bread, no life.

Even begging, robbery and accepting charity fall under ‘work’. If we are not able to achieve this basic purpose of work, regardless of all involved frustrations, we will, without any doubt, experience extreme discontentment and unhappiness.

The purpose of relationships:

The purpose of relationships is to satisfy our emotional and spiritual needs. Only in relationships we can love and be loved. Humans do need the following kinds of love -

Agápe – holding others in high regard. If no person or creature can satisfy our need to experience the amazing feeling of respect and admiration, we will feel discontentment in many ways, i.e. cynicism and bitterness.

Éros - passionate and sensual love. Humans’ need for intimacy goes far beyond their lusty urge to multiply.

Philia – maintaining friendships that gives us the opportunity to be loyal, supportive and compassionate. We have a strong need to have a purpose in the lives of others. If we mean nothing to nobody, if we cannot prove our loyalty and empathy to at least one person we will be extremely discontented and unhappy.

Storge – also known as affection. Our need to 'like' what we see/hear/do/smell/sense and to be fond of something or somebody is like an inextinguishable fire in us. Just contemplate that heartwarming feeling we experience while cuddling our pets, toys and beloveds, or riding our favorite hobby-horse. Even the hermit in the middle of a godforsaken desert will instinctively find something, like a succulent or a scorpion, to storge with all of their heart.

Grant Cochrane @ freedigitalphotos.net
Grant Cochrane @ freedigitalphotos.net
Master isolated images @ freedigitalphotos.net
Master isolated images @ freedigitalphotos.net

Striving to achieve contentment and happiness demands being loyal to one Self -


The quality of being loyal could be expressed with many words and phrases, such as –

  • Experiencing the feelings of allegiance;
  • Binding oneself intellectually or emotionally to a person or course of action;
  • To commit or dedicate oneself to a specific person, entity or course.

Knowing and understanding the purpose of all our actions, ignited by the basic needs in our complex psychological structure, are essential in order to understand true loyalty. If we cannot be loyal to ourselves, by striving and managing to be contented and happy, we can surely not be loyal and devoted to anyone or anything else.

Stuart Miles @ freedigitalphotos.net
Stuart Miles @ freedigitalphotos.net

Loyalty is a characteristic of great virtue

Because loyalty is a characteristic of great virtue we tend to take advantage of it. It is one of the most exploitable and exploited human characteristics. Too often loyal people find themselves in the shoes of a victim. At work they are the people doing more than what they are paid for, in families they are the people dancing to the tunes of the selfish egoists, in love they are the people humoring the whims and fancies of others.

Therefore loyal people are obliged to know and understand their instinctive actions.

Being truly loyal to one SELF is the only way to stay out of the sticky webs spun by human exploiters and manipulators. This has nothing to do with selfishness. Selfishness is when we jeopardize the right of our fellow-man to be just as happy and contented.

Being loyal, truly loyal, means binding oneself intellectually and emotionally to a person or course of action - first to Self and thereafter to others.


Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot @ freedigitalphotos.net
Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot @ freedigitalphotos.net

Conclusion

Realizing that all our actions have a purpose, knowing and understanding the purpose of all our actions and striving to achieve those purposes, make us loyal to ourselves. Then only selfishness and inconsideration can prevent us from being loyal to others.

Whenever we find ourselves in the shoes of a victim, exploited and abused, we cannot call ourselves ‘loyal’, but discontented and unhappy as we are not achieving the purpose of our actions.

If we manage to be contented and happy while not achieving the purpose of our actions, we are not loyal, but martyrs suffering for the sake of some or the other person or principle.


And this is my personal perspective on LOYALTY.

© Martie Coetser
© Martie Coetser

Evaluate yourself:

  • I am loyal
  • I am a martyr
  • I have no clue what I am
See results without voting

What and Who are the Perspectives?

The Perspectives is a group of writers in HubPages. On the 15th of each month they share their similar and/or dissimilar perspectives on a specific topic.

This month’s topic is ‘Loyalty’. .

The idea behind this series called Perspectives is explained in a hub published by the founder of the group, MickeySr:

  • Perspectives: An Introduction
    What we think and how we feel about things is defined, not by the things themselves, but by our perspective of things. Everything that comes before us is filtered through our perception of things...

Our guest writer on Loyalty, vocalcoach

Source

Martie Coetser Pozyn's Copyright:

Copyright :: All Rights Reserved
Registered :: 2013-07-10 20:11:00
Title :: Loyalty Begins at Self (Perspectives)
Category :: Article Hub
Fingerprint :: 973290ca6e2efd8bb3deb47367ab25948411c9aa526177e013d77196f7701f1b
MCN :: CWZ7Z-X5PQA-XNTEZ

More by this Author


64 comments

marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 3 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

To thine own self be true...

Martie, Once again you have nailed the subject as if it were a cadaver in the process of dissection...that really is a compliment!

I love the way you mixed adorable illustrations and the "one and only Tom Jones" with superbly detailed food for thought.

I think you know how I voted! This work is as awesome as you...voted UP and UABI. Love, Maria


Vickiw 3 years ago

Hi dear Martie, this is a very analytical look at Loyalty from your perspective. It makes one sit up and think about their own relationships, and how they manage them. I like your use of a poll to further understanding of your point. I also liked the fact that you used cartoon characters to 'lighten up'what is a serious approach to this topic. Great work, Martie.


epbooks profile image

epbooks 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

Very interesting hub on loyalty. I agree with it wholeheartedly. Sometimes we forget to be loyal to ourselves and this is a wonderful topic and reminder! Voted up!


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 3 years ago from Central Florida

Martie, you hit the nail on the head. Loyalty must begin within and for yourself. If you can't be true to yourself, you can't be true to others. Furthermore, chances are you will become a doormat and that's never good! Everything begins with how you feel about yourself and what is important to each of us. From there we expand and share.

Love your choice of music. I actually saw Tom Jones in concert when I was in my mid-twenties. It was a date and at the time I thought it was very un-cool because Tom Jones was more an entertainer for people of my parents' age. Boy was I wrong! Tom Jones is a hell of an entertainer, engaging the audience and is sexy as hell! It's one of the best concerts I've attended and I have many, many concerts under my belt!

Great hub, my SA friend!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean

Thanks for sharing your perspective on loyalty. Loyalty to self is something worth thinking about. There's a lot to learn here.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

Dear Martie! Excellent, simply excellent! Great to pave the subject of Loyalty with that of Purpose, as it applies to all one does. Even those who prefer to goof off have that negative as a purpose, so it also demonstrates that purposes can be pro or con, positive or negative. Goofing off can be a beneficial purpose in the appropriate circumstances. All choices are relative to some conditions or another. People who are aware of & in control of themselves can make wiser ones.

There are all kinds of purposes being served from one end of the spectrum to the other! Likewise can all kinds of loyalties be highlighted. They're not all healthy or 'good', nor are many good or bad out of context. One must have self-awareness to see which is which and when.

As you go on to show, particularly any loyalty that is self-persecuting Is likely to be quite negative if it binds one to an abusive, exploitive person or cause which hurts the one who gives it unconditional, unquestioning loyalty, and such situations can range from mild to terribly harmful, but they seldom produce positive results.

Extreme examples can go as far as the horrors of Jonestown mass suicide & other cult-follower mass deaths and/or slavery-like lives for the loyal converts who sacrifice their own choices and freedom to be loyal to whomever manipulative person or persons are in the lead. On much smaller scale, but individually as defeating, devastating and as limiting to as wide a range of effects, are all those which too often occur 'behind closed doors' in homes or in countless other relationship situations in which powerful, manipulative people keep others in virtual bondage by cultivating and taking advantage of well-meaning, decent, honest loyalty (and/or love) principles in them. Unfortunately we all know of some examples, some too close to home!

If one loses control of one's choices and good judgement - virtually of oneself - one's effectiveness in being good to or for anyone else diminishes proportionately. The result of loss of self is such a need to be approved that it's almost a negative for the other person, too, unless that other person really doesn't care! It can whittle down an otherwise good relationship into such a burdensome one on both dies that it just does no one involved a real favor to be a doormat! I've seen it mentioned that if both parties are willing doormats, it can be a happy situation, but I must admit that I doubt it, especially if they're both grownups.

Your advice to first, be sure to be loyal to one's own principles and one's own well-being is right-on. Being OK with oneself prevents one from having to plug in to others for validation. From that core flows the selfless, but secure, loyalty demonstrated by helping professionals, loving family members and good friends. It's like a secure resource within which sustains self and can give to others without having to have constant reassurance. If it gets it, all the better for the relationship but it's not a burdensome requirement.

If one loses control of oneself, one's effectiveness in being good to or for anyone else diminishes proportionately. There is such a need to be approved that it's almost a negative for the other person, too! It does no one involved a real favor to be a doormat! Also remember that loyalty can involve 'tough love', or helping the other person become more him/herself even if it means not allowing him/her to take advantage of oneself.

What's beautiful is that when one has oneself in good balance, knows who oneself is (without having to check it out with others or even get approval or permission), then caring for and being available for others is simply much less problematic, starting as it does, with oneself being a happier person who has much to share with others. One can just reach out from within an abundant self to share with others to whom one connects and wants to form mutually loyal relationship. The idea of loving and loyalty being some sort of martyr/controller setup is simply misleading and yet it too often prevails.

I've always like Tom Jones, too. I like that song! Thanks for introducing me to it!

Voted up and across, except funny. Good Perspective, dear CD!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

Yikes! Martie, your excellent hub got me so excited that I virtually repeated one whole paragraph! PLEASE delete my comment & I'll correct & repost it, (along with fixing other lesser errors!) :-/ I'll be forever grateful. :-)


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 3 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Nellieanna I was tempted to borrow one of your paragraphs to paste into this comment. lol

Martie, Martie, Martie, you cetainly took this project head-on. You covered so much territory in a no nonsense form. We humans are a funny bunch and will go to great lengths to get what we need physically and emotionally. When all is said and done no one seems particularly satisfied. And being true to oneself may be the hardest task there is. This is a strong contribution to this months Perspective series.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

I am very loyal to myself, but that was a learned trait and required many years to learn. Well done, Martie, and I'm in total agreement.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

@ marcoujor - Thanks for the quote ‘To thine own self be true,’ – I was looking for it but could not remember the exact words. You know, Mar, sometimes there is nothing right in my right brain and nothing left in my left brain.

I love your description of my writing style: ‘The dissection of cadavers.’ This is why I find it so difficult to write love stories.

Thank you, my dearest Mar. I am so honored to be on the receiving side of YOUR loyalty.

@ Vickiw – Your supportive comment means a lot to me. I am still nostalgic about your hub and I am now listing for the umpteenth time today to Giovanni.

@ epbooks – When I review my past I must admit that loyalty has brought me only tears and wide-awakenings. Maybe, if I was less loyal I would have been better off today? But I believe loyalty is like the color of our hair. We are born with it and eventually it grows silver.

@ bravewarrior – Yes, I was a doormat, although happy, achieving my purpose, until reward in the form of deception and ungratefulness had hit me between the eyes. If only once was enough! There is no reward for loyalty. Loyalty does not pay! Yet, we are loyal or we are not. Nowadays I am only loyal to those who are loyal to me.... not more and not less.... Unfortunately I was born to learn everything in this life the hard way. I wish I could have seen Tom Jones in real life.

@ MsDora – Good to see you! This also came as a surprise to me: Are we really loyal while we are in fact doormats or martyrs? If so, to whom are we loyal.... betraying our True Selves?

@ Nellieanna – I have deleted your very profound and awesome comment and will reply on the edited version. Would you like me to email the comment to you, or do you still have it? Love you, my lovely CM.

@ mckbirdbks – The only way I can acknowledge your most profound and supportive comment is by nodding my head. Good to know that you have captured the bare essence of my perspective on loyalty. Sadly, words are most of the time totally insufficient to explain the truths we have discovered in this life.

@ billybuc - Good to know you were in the same boat as I . It certainly takes a long time and many shocks before one learns how to be loyalty to one self.


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 3 years ago from Northern Ireland

Martie, this has to be one of the best hubs that you have written, for me anyway. I have believed in loyalty, although not brought up with the same conclusion.My mom was very cynical about loyalty to others and their loyalty in turn to yourself. I believe that it was her upbringing and the fact that she was a single parent that affected her this way. I am loyal to a cause because I believe in it, and I am a loyal friend. But, as ever you have given me room to think again, for me outside of the box and realise that it is a melting pot of emotions. Great read and loved the humour. x


Docmo profile image

Docmo 3 years ago from UK

Isn't it amazing that we've all touched upon the ' be loyal to you' first concept. I love your bright, breezy, brilliant trip through the aspects of loyalty. Your ideas are always worldwise and well thought out. your bubbly and boisterous spirit is tempered with such experience and expression. I do respect this take on Loyalty. I'm all the more wiser for it.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

Aha, learning to be loyal to self took some time but happy to report that i think i have reached that healthy aspect. To me, a loyal friend, family member, a neighbor is golden. I am thinking of the lyric, ' Everything that glitters is not gold. ' I loved your comedic pictures and of course Tom Jones tops off your take on loyalty. I will close by saying, " Loyalty is more precious than possessions. " Beautiful hub Martie....Hugs.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

Thank you, m'dear. Yes I have a copy. Just need to repair it! haha. Been so caught up in reading all the great Perspectives hubs! The comments on them are equally valuable!! Great subject and great writers/thinkers!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

Here goes. . . :-)

Dear Martie! Excellent, simply excellent! Great to pave the subject of Loyalty with that of Purpose, as it applies to all one does. Even those who prefer to goof off have that negative as a purpose, so it also demonstrates that purposes can be pro or con, positive or negative. Goofing off can even be a beneficial purpose in the appropriate circumstances. All choices are relative to some conditions or another. People who are aware of & in control of themselves can make wiser ones.

There are all kinds of purposes being served from one end of the spectrum to the other! Likewise can all kinds of loyalties be highlighted. They're not all healthy or 'good', nor are many good or bad out of context. One must have self-awareness to see which is which and when.

As you go on to show, particularly any loyalty that is self-persecuting Is likely to be quite negative if it binds one to an abusive, exploitive person or cause which hurts the one who affords it his/her unquestioning loyalty; such situations can range from mild to terribly harmful, but they seldom, if ever, produce positive results.

Extreme examples can go as far as the horrors of the Jonestown mass suicide & other cult-follower mass deaths and/or slavery-like lives for the loyal converts who sacrifice their own choices and freedom to be loyal to whomever dreadful manipulative person or persons are in the lead. On much smaller scale, but individually as defeating, devastating and as limiting in as wide a range of effects, are all those which too often occur 'behind closed doors' in homes or in countless other private relationship situations in which powerful, manipulative people keep others in virtual bondage by cultivating and taking advantage of well-meaning, decent, honest loyalty (and/or love) principles and purposes are held by the victims. Unfortunately we all know of some examples, some too close to home!

If one loses control of one's choices and good judgement - (virtually of oneself) - one's effectiveness in being good to or for anyone else diminishes proportionately. We really have the responsibility to take care of ourselves for the right reasons.

The result of loss of self is usually such a need for approval that it's almost a negative for the other person, too, unless that other person really doesn't care! It can whittle down an otherwise potentially good relationship into such a burdensome one on both sides that it just does no one involved a real favor to be a doormat! I've seen it mentioned that if both parties are willing doormats, it can be a happy situation, but I must admit that I doubt it, especially if they're both grownups!

Remember that genuine loyalty can involve 'tough love', or encouraging the other person to become more him/herself, even if it means not allowing him/her to take advantage of oneself if that's his bent; or to be taken advantage of by others, if that's his tendency. What's beautiful is that when one has oneself in good balance, knows who oneself is, without having to check it out with others or to seek approval or permission, then caring for and being available for others is simply much less problematic, starting as it does, with oneself being a happier person who isn't trying to assume responsibility for everyone else, but who takes his own responsibility; and therefore, who has much unselfconscious genuineness to share with others without 'sticky strings' of actually demanding approval almost in payment. One can just reach out from within an abundant self to share with others to whom one connects and wants to form mutually loyal relationship. Ideas of loving and loyalty somehow being some sort of martyr/controller setup is simply misleading, though it too often prevails. Perhaps unrealistic romantic notions set people up for that, and too many never grow out of it.

Your advice to first, be sure to be loyal to one's own principles and one's own well-being is right-on, Martie. Being OK with oneself prevents one from having to plug into others for validation. From that core of self-acceptance flows the selfless, but secure, loyalty demonstrated by the helping professionals, by loving family members and good friends. It's like a secure resource within which sustains self and can give to others without loss of self or needing constant reassurance. If it has and gives back that kind of mutual assurance, all the better for the relationship; but it's not a burdensome requirement or a major emotionally charged issue at every turn.

I've always liked Tom Jones, too. I like that song! Thanks for introducing me to it!

Voted up and across, except funny. Such a good Perspective, dear CD!


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 3 years ago from Philippines

This article probably arouse after deep reflection on your past relationship which we have come to read from previous hubs. I totally agree with you that loyalty does not mean blind allegiance to any cause or relationship. It is also being dishonest to yourself and the people involved. Martie, this is a well written perspective of what real loyalty is. Enjoyed reading it.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Good morning to all! Thank you for you profound comments. Nellieanna, reading yours made me realize that loyalty is deeply rooted in our yearning to belong, and also in our hope to achieve some purpose and most of all to be loved.

I'll be back after work with individual replies.

(XxxxxxX)


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

Your illustrations are so bright and cheery making one think we can be loyal to ourselves.

"Too often loyal people find themselves in the shoes of a victim." That statement could be carved in stone. Sometimes our loyalty leads us down a twisty road that's hard to navigate. Loyalty to ourselves leads to loyalty to others. Brilliantly done Martie.

Your opening explanations are a great lead in to a great hub!

Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

@ thebluestar – what a surprise to see you in my corner! Thank you so much, Annette, for reading and commenting. I have learned that loyalty seldom if ever pays. Those people to whom we are the most loyal to are often the ones who eventually shock us into a state of despair and bitterness, or they just disappear, leaving us with the knowledge that our loyalty has meant nothing to them. But then we must realize that loyalty (when it begins at Self and not displaced) rather strengthens our own character – it is part of our integrity. We are loyal, or we are not, depending on our upbringing and personal development. When we have integrity, we are automatically loyal to the people we bond with and to the causes we follow. Feeling hurt and bitter when we don’t receive the same in return, is but only an ego-issue we have to overcome. Thanks again, Annette :)

@ Docmo – I appreciate your honest and heart-warming comment. Yes, I was born with a bubbly and boisterous spirit - while my mother would have loved me to be calm and placid. However, Life (or let me rather say ‘disappointments’ and ‘wide-awakenings’) has tamed me and taught me how to impose some restraints. Please tell your Imp he has a fan in me :)

@ always exploring – I am so glad you like my comedic pictures. I had my doubts about them. As I’ve said before, loyalty is part of our integrity. I can honestly ‘sell’ myself as a loyal friend. But I must add that I have became extremely fastidious about the type of people I allow in my personal zone. You have a special seat in my heart :)

@ Nellieanna – I can but only say amen-amen-amen after every sentence you have written. When I read your comment this morning I could see the roots of loyalty so clearly in our yearning to belong and our hope to be rewarded with love and recognition. Humans are gregarious, though Life has a nasty way of knocking us into solitude. But even in solitude we will find a way to practice loyalty. Thank you so much for giving substance to my hub with your most profound and generous comment. You are for me a perfect sound board, or rather and amplifier, increasing and enhancing my own convictions. Lots of hugs to you :)

@ SilentReed – I have certainly learned a lot in my past relationships. (Note the plural!) When I reflect I can clearly see that all disappointments were the result of disloyalty to myself – of my willingness and sometimes blind eagerness to please and glorify others while sacrificing my own Self. Or maybe that was not sacrificing myself at all, but simply climbing the ladder of success. Nevertheless, I have no regrets. In the process I have scored knowledge and wisdom and actually everything that really matters. What happened to you on FB? I am curious to know how you are these days? Take care, my friend!

@ tillsontitan – when I read comments like this one of yours, I really feel great, knowing that I have succeeded in my effort to explain my personal perceptions and convictions. We have all learned so many lessons, but sharing it with others, comparing it to the lessons others have learned, searching for kindred spirits who will just know what we’re trying to say/explain, is not that easy. Words and images can so easily be misunderstood. I am so happy to be in tune with you on loyalty :)


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Beautifully written and illustrated, your hub provides much food for thought. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in the doing for everyone else but ourselves routine. I loved your quotes and music choices, too. Ah, eating and sleeping too? I'll have to try a bit of those. Could explain a lot about how I've been feeling.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

What a brilliant common sense exploration of the topic of loyalty, Martie. You did a bang-up job, m'dear. I am particularly fond of your personal motto. Love and recognition can change the world! True!


mary615 profile image

mary615 3 years ago from Florida

I know of no comment that could add anything to this Hub. Beautifully written from a very wise person. I consider myself an extremely loyal person; however, in some cases I have been hurt by those people I was the most loyal to. That's OK. because I'll never change.

Voted UP and shared.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Dearest Martie,

Wonderful perspective you have written here as to loyalty, and so true, as it must truly begin with self!!! You know it! If one is not loyal to oneself, then forget about all others no doubt!

Oh, wow, I had written a hub on the four kinds of love way back when I first joined HP, awesome that you have mentioned that here, as well as all of us needing them all!

Great imagery here as well as quotes! Ah, yes, sleep, really, really need more of it! LOL

Thanks for writing the gem here on loyalty. Oh, cannot forget Tom Jones!!! Awesome girl!

Voted up ++++ and sharing

Hugs and love from one of your many loyal followers, : )

Faith Reaper


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 3 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This is a very interesting perspective on loyalty, Martie. I love the way in which you defined the word and explained why it is important to be loyal to oneself!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

Thank you also for your hub on Loyalty. Great points and a wonderful lesson in life. Voted up.

Eddy.


pinto2011 profile image

pinto2011 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

Hi MartieCoetser! It is very nice to see such values are propagated which we are slowly losing grip on. Very well written and valued.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

Loyalty certainly does begin at self. It is often hard to grasp that concept since we are taught not to be selfish though there is a fine line between selfishness and self-loyalty.

I loved your explanations of feelings leading to the ending and realizing OUR actions have a purpose; don't be a martyr be yourself!!

"First to self then to others", we cannot help others if we cannot help ourselves and the same is true of loyalty.

Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

A wonderful hub with such great thought most values are lost or hardly thought of these days.


Sannel 3 years ago

First of all, I find your quote/motto on loyalty to be absolutely beautiful and so true. This will from now on, be my favorite quote!

Just like Maria, I'm pretty sure you know what I voted, lol. You have written a fantastic and very interesting hub on loyalty. I hope I'll learn from it. . . Well done, my friend!

Hugs,

Sannel


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

@ PegCole17 – I have used the term ‘Loyalty’ far too long as an excuse to torture myself with lack of sleep and unhealthy food - supporting relatives and friends, realizing their dreams, and of course, in search of recognition and love. I eventually realized that I should recognize and love myself just as much. Thanks for your supportive comment, Peg :)

@ drbj – We take a lot of risks in our search of recognition, approval and love. But the question is, why do we have to search? Can’t it just fall in our lap? I always appreciate your comments, thanks drbj :)

@ mary615 – I do believe that all people are born with the ability to be loyal. The challenge is to ‘place’ it correctly. Thank you for your kind comment, Mary :)

@ Faith Reaper - Keeping the different kinds of love in mind makes it so much easier for us to understand our emotions. How wonderful when we have someone in our life we can love in all of those ways. Lots of hugs to you, Faith :)

@ AliciaC – I must admit that I have started this hub with no intention to end with loyalty. I was contemplating the purpose of my comings and goings, searching for the reasons why I am accepting certain people and causes in my life while I am rejecting others that may be just as good and even better. Eventually I came to the realization that loyalty is the power in my guts :) Thank you, Alicia. Take care!

@ Eiddwen – Always good to see you! Thanks for the vote :)

@ pinto2011 – Long time no see! I look forward to see what’s cooking in your corner :)

@ tillsontitan – Indeed, there is a (very) fine line between selfishness and self-loyalty. We can’t even say that we are always happy while we are loyal to ourselves and/or to others. But I think I’ve made it clear that selfishness is when we jeopardize the right of our fellow-man to be just as happy and contented as we are while we are loyal to ourselves. However, this brings us to the sacrifices we are willing to make in our efforts to keep the people in our life happy and contented, and also to the amount of selfishness in their demands. I believe each and every ‘case’ of loyalty has its own merits. Only we will know whether we are loyal or a martyr suffering for the sake of someone or something.

@ DDE – True, these days we don’t get much time to contemplate values like loyalty and integrity. Life is a rat race :)

@ Sannel – How nice to see you in my corner, my sweet friend. I can’t think of any other definition for loyalty. Many of us claim that we are not gregarious, but in the meantime we are yearning for at least the company of one kindred spirit. Thanks to the Internet we have found so many of them. And why would we be loyal if we are not hoping to be recognized and loved by those we are loyal to? We may even not care about love, but we certainly expect some kind of recognition and appreciation. All our actions, whether visible or simmering in our personalities are driven by one or more of our three primary urges – To live, to multiply, to die, and each of these three have so many secondary drives.... Mmmmm, 9:00pm down here and I am babbling. Thanks so much for sharing this hub with your friends, Sannel. Much appreciated :)


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

91% of those that voted consider themselves 'true to self'. I don't believe those to be a true reflection of the general population because - THIS is the hub, and i KNOW that hubbers are more 'true to self' than most! It shows in our writing, every day - when we open our souls and pour out our messages!

You perspective brings another another to the topic, most definitely. I'm impressed with the diversity in the responses to the question: what is loyalty...

sharing..


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

ImKarn, what a thought-provoking comment. Ìndeed, we may have our doubts about the True Selves of others. Even the most rude and self-centered individual believes in himself and instead of accepting the advice of others more wise than they, they will rather protect their personal convictions and quite aggressively..... like a wild dog would do with a bone he happened to find..... You and I are on the same counter, dancing our unique tangos on the same beat, singing the same songs in different keys. Take care :)


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epigramman 3 years ago

Of course you must know me by now - the eternal outsider as I am not a fan of the How movement or any other group - I thought Hubpages was the GROUP. I am a big promoter myself and I will promote anyone but I don't need a group to do it - and I LOVE encouraging the underdog or perhaps people like me who tend to shy away from the group thing - I love helping out new people or people who don't get much attention for some reason - or someone who has zero comments on a well written hub.

Of course you can't be everyone at once but I like the freedom.

Never one to mince my words and I know you are the same as well.

But that said it's always a pleasure to visit you as you ALWAYS provoke my mind and encourage me to think about different areas and thoughts and that's what makes you a world class writer and thinker - hope you are well and Mr. B too and I am sending warm wishes from the three of us and posting on FACEBOOK too so Martiemania can take over from Beatlemania , lol, lake erie time 5:22pm


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi, Epigramman, good to see you in my corner for a change. Yes, I know you as you've described yourself. How could you be different in your capacity as only child? Can you also see me in the capacity of the oldest of five? Anyway, time for me to be everywhere online, supporting my 'siblings', is nowadays absorbed not only by Mr B, but also by an additional company on my duty sheet. Thank you so much for the warm wishes. I'm sending you the same @ Monday 1:00am


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Always nice to hang out with you my marvelous Miss M - please read my new one - My name is Sally, it's a real eye opener.


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Rosemay50 3 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

An excellent perspective on loyalty and as always you have given us plenty of food for thought.

Love your song choice


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

@ Epigramman - I will go over for a read asap :) Curious....

@ Rosemary, long time no seen. I hope you are fine? You know I always appreciate your comments :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Hi Martie, such a great hub, and so very true. Loyalty is one of the most precious things we have to give, as I found out this week, wonderful as always, voted up and shared, nell


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi Nell, always so good to see you in my corner. I think loyalty is stronger than love; we can even be loyal to people we hate by simply treating them the way we would like them to treat us - being loyal to humanity. Hugs to you!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

My marvelous Martie ~ Your magnificent writing once again reminds me of the beautiful gift you, yourself are. Loyalty begins with ourselves and from the first time I read your supportive comments on my hub 3 years ago it was clear to me that you live this principle.

Being loyal to oneself takes courage. It isn't always easy to stand up for what we believe.

When I saw that you and I were writing about loyalty as it begins with ourselves I couldn't help but smile. Great minds and all that :)

Voting Up UABI and sharing. Love your hub and love you! ~ Audrey


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi vocalcoach, you and I were surely on the same wave, and so true: It takes a lot of heartache before one eventually realize that loyalty begins at self. If only I have known this a long time ago. Take care, my dear friend. You are special and close to my heart :)


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d.william 3 years ago from Somewhere in the south

my personal perspective of this article is that it was (is) a great, informative and enjoyable read. Well done.

It is difficult to be totally loyal to one's self, but when this is finally achieved it is far superior to being loyal to those who do not deserve our loyalty, take advantage of it, or destroy it by being more selfish than their willingness to return that loyalty.


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi d.William :) tit for tat is so in our nature. We simply lose interest in people who don't return our loyal support. I think we may rather call this, 'maintaining balance' .....


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epigramman 3 years ago

Another look and read of this one dear Martie and just to tell you - not just because you're a pretty girl, lol, but you are one of the most brilliant women I've ever met. Remember the days we used to chat on the FB chat room link , well everything you said to me turned out to be true in the long run - perhaps I should call you Martie Nosterdamus, lol , but your advice, wisdom and thoughts have ALWAYS been respected by me and they have helped me as well.

One of the gifts of online life was meeting you my dear friend and most esteemed colleague and thanks for putting up with me and my over the top comments but I mean well. Colin is just being Colin.

3 big hugs from the three of us - Gabe, Tiffy and me

lake erie time 1:09pm and see you on FB with a post and a link of your page here


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

Hi Martie again, you know me , forever the promoter - there is a hub you should check out from LK More 01 called Six sites that empower women


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

My dear friend, Epigramman, once my friend always my friend, unless YOU chuck me. Good to have you in my circle of friends; good to see you conquering each and every obstacle on your journey. I may be less active online and especially in the hubs these days, but I still care about all my online friends and wish them only the best. I am going to check out that article asap. Enjoy your weekend, Colin, and hugs to your gorgeous kitties.... :)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

....thank you Martie of my most marvelous - I love you and I am sending you flowers right now - I just came home from work and it's 6:35am with a couple of beers, sausages on a bun with sauerkraut and two happy well fed pussycats


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Hugs to you, Epi :) Carpe diem!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

Came back for another read Martie, love this hub! voted up and shared, nell


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi Nell, always good to see you :)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 3 years ago from Orlando, FL

I almost selected, "I have no clue what I am" but my fingers opted for "I am loyal" I guess my fingers know me better than I know myself :)


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Oh, Sunshine, sometimes we really have no idea who we are. But fortunately only for short periods just to have another opportunity to discover ourselves all over again. Loyalty is certainly one of your best characteristics. If you don't know it, just believe me - it is so clear for all to see. So nice to have you in my circle of friends :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Thanks for sending me over this way, Martie. Your thoughts on loyalty make perfect sense, and is is a quality easily taken advantage of, especially when tied in with love.

I have more of a divine, perfect love point of view about what Rtagape love is than you described here, though.


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

shanmarie, I would love to read your point of view on agapé. I have merely touched mine as it was not the topic of this hub.

Maybe you would like to accept MickeySr invitation and become part of the next Perspective Team - http://hubpages.com/education/Perspectives-The-Con...


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas

Tempting, Martie...


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Well, you have nothing to lose, shanmarie.... and you can start and stop at any time :)


Kimmie Thompson profile image

Kimmie Thompson 3 years ago

So smart and to the point. I love your posts and have missed them very much. Hope to catch up as fast as I can. Love you muches!

Kimmie


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MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa Author

Kimmie Thompson – So good to see you in my corner (again) :) Good luck with the catch-up business :)


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 2 years ago from Gurgaon, India

The heading... clearly outlines the body... that is one key aspect of writing that I love...

In a nutshell... a system can only corrupt itself if its basis.. the elemental entity is corrupt...


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MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa Author

Hi rahul, so good to see you for a change in my corner. I hope you are fine and happy. Keeping our Self from becoming corrupt is a full-time job. Firstly it is the responsibility of our parents to keep us pure, but from the age of 10 the choice to become corrupt, or the purest we can be, is ours. Hard work! I wish you only the best for 2014.


nighthag profile image

nighthag 2 years ago from Australia

these are true word of wisdom. so easy it is to fall into the trap of believing that to prove our loyalty we have to go above and beyond for another person, be it at work or in relationships .

I really enjoyed reading this and I personally got a few good points for my own self... so thank you


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa Author

nighthag, I always appreciate your comments. Another thought of mine: Ref the commandment ".... love your fellow-man as you love yourself." We should take not of the word 'as'. 'As' doesn't mean 'more' or 'less'.

Take care, and thanks again :)


Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 24 months ago

I am just so thrilled to have the chance to stop in and read this! A very well written article! I definitly feel "agape" love for your work. You write so amazingly and inspirational! I greatly admire and respect you! :-)

Shared, tweet and up she goes! (((((((((( Martie )))))))))

P.S. Maria sent me over..she sends you love. :-)


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MartieCoetser 24 months ago from South Africa Author

Hi, Jo! So good to see you! Thank you so much for your very kind comment. You, too, are a beautiful, admirable and respectable lady, and that is why I love reading your writings. Thanks for sharing this hub and also for bringing our adorable Mar's love with you :)

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