Missing that care free spirit from my youth

I hate feeling that way :(
I hate feeling that way :( | Source

Back in my day

I always hated when I was a kid to hear the adults around me say "back in my day" because it was always followed by some story about a ridiculous task that they had to perform when they were a child. Now I say it to my kids all the time. With age I have come to realize that the tasks I thought were just over embellishments by my seniors actually were the real deal. My perspective based on my short life span at the time lead me to believe there was no way anyone would have done any of those crazy tasks.

Almost thirty years, and two kids later, I find myself looking back on my life like wow we had it rough...The scary thought that follows is that someday my children will be raising children who they feel have it all. My children don't have to do everything that I or anyone else in my generation was expected to do around the house. When we were kids we did the dishes and the laundry. My kids only have to make their beds, take care of their hygene, go to school, and do their homework....wouldn't that have been nice?

There isn't too much I miss about my teens and childhood except the way that I fully believe that I could make anything I wanted to happen just by focusing on it and working towards it....By the time you are an adult all rationality replaces those personal beliefs you held. The negative talk you have heard from so many replaces your confidence. I remember dying my hair red, blue, purple, pink, and any other color that I wanted that week. I spiked my hair with jello, I wore outrageous outfits and I didn't care what anyone thought about me. Now I have my natural hair color (but that is for good reason- locks of love doesn't accept color treated hair, so I keep it natural so I can donate it). I find myself looking through LL Bean catalogs, wanting to dress in clothes from there and Newport.

I was never worried about my health but now I am suffering from a sack of fluid over a repaired hip muscle that was torn a little over a year ago. My spine is just a fabulous wreck from when a young lady thought my big green van was an illusion in the road and tried to drive through it like she was at MCDonalds or something. At this point in time when I am too tired to force myself to walk straight and right, I hobble in a hunched over fashion...I have found that daily practices in yoga make me feel younger. They also helped me lose a 169 lbs., losing the other person that I was carrying around helped me to feel a little younger.

I often want to find the person I was before the outside world help to transform me into the woman that I sometimes don't understand and wish would stand up for herself. So will I or you ever find that person again? Meditation might help, new shades of make-up might or nail polish might give me a youthful feeling, or a new outfit could give anyone a temporary boosts. However, I believe that the yogis must know something about youth and longevity due to the fact that they seem live for a very long time.

So maybe I should learn to focus on meditation if I want to feel you again? What do you think works to stay young?

What do you miss about your youth?

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Comments 6 comments

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK

I enjoyed this. I think having lots of good friends and laughter in your life is the key to staying young at heart and being happy. Moisturising and drinking lots of water makes my skin look plumper. I'm 39 but people always think i'm 10 years younger. Let's hope that's always the case! Voted up.

Erin Boggs1 profile image

Erin Boggs1 5 years ago from Western Maryland Author

Thank you. I have to agree with you on all points. Based on your photo I wouldn't believe that you were any older than 28. Which ever moisturizer you are using is working wonderfully.

Peanutritious profile image

Peanutritious 5 years ago from Cheshire, UK

Thanks! I use different kinds. I get loads of sleep too, probably too much actually! I'm following you now. Look forward to reading more!

Erin Boggs1 profile image

Erin Boggs1 5 years ago from Western Maryland Author

I think I should get more sleep but there is such little time for sleep these days lol.

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newday98033 5 years ago

Hey Erin! I love your viewpoint. Looking forward to reading more of your searches.

A way to look at the setup is that we each have limited focus. Life is glorious as a child because one has not left focus strewn about the landscape, as tends to happen as one puts attention on lots of things. The more past one has, the more one has unconscious attention on what is not now. A child is in the now. That is all it takes.

My experience is that one can recover focus and joy. Just be willing to see what is there. Meditation can help but we all have a different path. Just be willing to see what is there without judgment.

And a reasonable idea is to let yourself be yourself, not someone you think that you want to be. What is, is, no matter what that is. Have fun!

Erin Boggs1 profile image

Erin Boggs1 5 years ago from Western Maryland Author

That is a great way to look at it Newday. I never thought about it those term, but it is the best way to look at it. Thank you for your perspective. I hope that you have a great day.

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