Why I chose to go off my Medications; Is it for everyone?
You know what?
"No. Jagged, What?" I have struggling with mental illness problems for close to... all my life, hows that? I cant remember a time when my mind hasn't had a warped sense of reality. As much as the world hasn't liked me as a child for my different way of thinking, I have never been great at remembering the details. I, therefore, forgive the offenders whenever something comes up. It is way too late to worry about any of those things now. The question I recently saw posted was whether any of the medications I was on at the time in all likely hood aided in my lack of memory? I am not sure it is the medication that caused my scattering of memories. I rather think that the treatment of the mental conditions I face actually makes one aware of the problem that in all likely even already existed.
I was on those kind of medicines for the better part of 20 years. The medicines didn't fix any of my problems. In many cases, however, they gave me the buffer I needed between my conditions and my conscious mind. Because of this, I could do the mental exercises necessary to strengthen my position. Today I have been able to utilize non medication avenues, albeit I know my limits and if I start to become excessively weird in my wife's eyes I will happily or gratefully go on them again.
it is acknowledged that misdiagnoses and medicine abuse, knowingly or unknowingly might change the situation. As to the exaggeration of medicines, I only took as much of the medications that I was proscribed, in order to feel a benefit and stopped at a dosage when the side effects outweighed the benefit. My doctors usually allowed this or couldn't do anything about it. I never had to experience inpatient care. I hope to keep that record. I admit, however, that that sort of experience would change matters a bit too. Not in any way that anyone would or could document though. I do have experience with misdiagnoses. Truth be told, for the first 18 years of that I was being medicated according to my symptoms and not my conditions, which has changed things.
When I lost my mind almost 4 years ago, the medications changed again as my actual conditions surfaced. Then again I went off my meds as soon as I cognitively could work out logistical ways of getting around my condition. There too, the types of medications I was on were heavy enough to make feeling anything for anyone difficult and concentration very hard as well. It was one of the reasons why I came down off those medicines. I was pretty messed up according to my psychologist when I stopped though. I have a great belief and am living evidence that the mind can make new neuropathways if you are willing to put in the effort to stress and stretch your mind after things like that.
Cognitively and memory wise I am still not perfect. I lose things all the time but I don't remember a time when that wasn't an issue. I forget names but never faces. Again that happens all the time and always has. I think more clearly now then I ever have with one exception. I have a greater instance of mental fatigue and cant play as many games of chess in a row as I used to. I end up being unable to work more then 20 ish hours at my work. I am constantly pushing the limits though and I intend to go back to school and get a new profession that will lower my stress levels. Hopefully that will lengthen my mental stamina as well.
In conclusion, between the mental break and the medicines it is really a toss up which caused what. I don't know anyone who has had problems such as I who doesn't have a degenerative mental condition in some respect or other. My situation has stabilized which I can be grateful for. I suggest that anyone who has anything do do with psychiatric medications should heed the warnings on the bottles when you get them. You should go on gradually and come off just as slowly. To do otherwise would definitely cause problems and throw your body in tail spins that will make your conditions feel like pleasant dreams.
Do medications cause more problems then they solve in the world of Mental illness? Who knows. Anyone who has been out of control can tell you that they would rather be on them then hurting people. Those under control or harmless can choose as they please. Life is better, however when you see clearly.
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