Healing Touch Part 3: Overcoming Fear

wow!
wow!

Overcoming fear is part of the journey in the use of the gift of your healing touch.  Why? How?

The initial discovery of knowing that one has a meaning and purpose in life somehow transforms us on the inside. It seems as if the missing pieces of the puzzle have all come together and they fit perfectly. A sudden surge of adrenalin runs through your veins and the world has become an exciting place to be in.

Until...

Until fear came into the picture.

Healing Journey Series: Healing Touch

Hello! If you have arrived here before reading the previous hubs, please click on the links below. Thanks! Be blessed.

Dayzeebee encouraged me to use the gift as often as possible. When she knew someone was not feeling well, she would volunteer me to do some healing work. Once, she was asked to give a talk to a youth group and she brought me along with her so I could pray for them. The following day, I discovered a huge crack in the windshield of my car in an “S” shaped form that looked like it was stretched. There was no point of impact and the crack seemed to be inside the glass. I stared at it in disbelief. How in the world did this happen?

What are you afraid of?

  • Fear of dying
  • Fear of being sick
  • Fear of being unwanted, lonely
  • Fear of looking like a fool
  • Fear of growing old
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of living a miserable life
  • Other fears
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Fear that the devil will run after me

When I shared this with someone, she warned me. “Watch out! Now that you are using your gift, the devil is not pleased.” I was told of all the scary things that I had to be careful of. One that had me shuddering was the fact that I will be choked while sleeping.

Fear that it's all a lie

After that, I also got a phone call. This woman questioned me, “Who are you to say that you are a healer? Do you know that the church is the only one who can declare such things?” There were still a lot of things that she said and I can’t recall them all now. I just knew I was stunned and bewildered. When the call ended, I broke down and wept.

Those words were like a slap in the face. I began to question myself, “what if she’s right? And my gift is all a lie.” And the excitement that was once there began to waver. “What will I do if the devil will choke me? What if he makes my family suffer?” Many horrifying images came to my mind after that.

Help!!!
Help!!!

Fear of failure and more

One horrifying thought led to another. Soon other fears came. Fear of not being good enough. Fear that the gift will not work and I am just a miserable failure. Fear of being laughed at, mocked, scorned. Fear of being odd and different. Fear of unacceptance. Fear of getting sick. I was also told that healers often get sick while helping other people.

The fear grew bigger and bigger. It got so big that it seemed like a huge giant was standing in front of me, ready to pounce and tear me into tiny pieces. I was still very new at all this. And all the warnings I had received scared me to death. I was in turmoil and I grew very weak. I could feel it in my body.

Resistance

I called Daisy and begged her to come to my house to pray for me. “You have to come.” I whispered urgently. She came. She made me lie down as she saw how weak I was.

“You are resisting so much.” She told me. “There’s a part of you that doesn’t want to accept the gift.”

“Yes, I know.” I told her weakly. “The first time I heard about the devil running after me? I wanted to return the gift immediately, if that were possible. Can I give you back my wonder woman suit too?” She grinned at my lame attempt to joke around.

And so she prayed...and I prayed. And I cried and sobbed so hard as I surrendered all my fears to God, my Father. I could feel Him listening quietly as He hugged me close.

Conversation with God

“Father God, I’m so scared. Are you mad at me for being scared?”

“No, of course not.” I could feel Him answer in my heart. “I have never been mad at you for being scared. Do you ever remember a time I got mad at you?”

“No.” I sobbed recalling how He has been so gentle with me all these years.

“Haven’t I always protected you?”

“Yes.”

“And how we talked and became friends?”

“Yes.”

“So it’s okay. You are safe with me. There’s nothing to fear.” I sobbed some more as I felt His love embracing and soothing me.

“Father God, you are not mad at me that I am not able to accept my gift yet?”

“No. I will wait until you are ready.”

“Okay.” I sighed. “Thank you. And I love you.” I wiped the tears and my runny nose with the back of my hand. Daisy was holding me close as I sobbed and uttered unintelligible words that only God could understand.

“And I love you too. Now I want to see your smile. C’mon, I like seeing you smile once more.” I could feel Him wanting to tickle me. Then He tried making funny faces. And a giggle escaped my lips.

God's love is my strength.
God's love is my strength.

Renewed

I finally found myself relaxing into a smile. My energy was back as I felt God’s love engulfing me in a loving embrace. The darkness had passed. “Are you okay,” Daisy asked me with concern. I nodded. “What happened? What did God tell you?”

So I told her and she said, “It was so strange but I could feel myself watching the whole scene like my spirit went out of my body or something like that. Do you know it’s my turn to be exhausted.” I laughed and instructed her to lie down while I put my hands over her head, deeply thankful that she came to pray for me.

I knew I had to write this all down as part of my journey. Many times we face many fears in our lives and I am no different from anyone. Overcoming my fear and facing my giants was a huge thing for me. But what got me through the darkness was knowing that God is with me in my journey. And I am not alone. We can remove whatever mask we have before Him. His love makes all the difference in the world.

by: Michelle Simtoco


There is more...

I thought I would be ending this journey with Part 3 but there is still something more. Healing Touch Part 4: All is Well.

More by this Author


Comments 28 comments

Mike the salesman profile image

Mike the salesman 7 years ago from birmingham alabama/sherwood oregon

very helpful! It is as if we must deal with panic attacks!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi Mike, yes, that's a good word to describe it-panic attacks indeed. :) Thanks for commenting.


dayzeebee profile image

dayzeebee 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hello Ripplemaker, I am truly proud of how you are now able to openly share your deepest fears and more importantly reveal how you lovingly dialogue with God. I know many will be blessed with this sharing for it reveals God's perfect love. A big loving hug to you -- God's very precious one. Be blessed always. 


BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 7 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

Michelle, if I ever doubted you were genuine (and I really never did but IF ...) this hub puts a rest to it. This is also common among people who are gifted. God wants to give us ALL gifts, and often we are afraid to take them.

But what He wants more than anything, is for us to share with Him ourselves. God is much more passionate about our relationship with Him than our gifts.

As far as fear goes ... "The name of the LORD is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and are safe." You ran to Father ... and you are safe! Good job!

Thanks for sharing!


ajcor profile image

ajcor 7 years ago from NSW. Australia

great hub ripplemaker - the path to your acceptance of your gift despite others interfernce and your own fears is thought provoking....thanks


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi daisy, thank you! God bless you for sharing your heart with me. Your wisdom and friendship have helped me in so many ways. As I read this hub again today, I had to smile at myself. I'm still such a "little girl" in so many ways. LOL And it feels good to know God loves each one of us for who we are - quirks and all.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi Bdazzler, You are so right in what you said. Our relationship with God is indeed much more important than the gift itself. Do you know, I have been "running" to God since I left home to study in another city at the young age of 7. And that has never changed. Haha except on days when I become stubborn and scared. And He just waits patiently until I do. Thank you for being here. I appreciate it very much my big brother of the Lord. :)

Hi ajcor, thanks for dropping by and reading this sharing. I pray that whatever path you have chosen will be blessed abundantly with love. Take care...


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Hi Michelle, I just am amazed at how much you have come out of your shell in the short time that I have known you! I love, love, love to see it in the pictures that you now post. You're coming out of hiding.

This is a beautiful part of your beautiful story, and I'm really looking forward to reading the next part.

Much Love & Light

Shirley


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 7 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

As I opened your hub to read, I was giggling at your picture with the "wow" captioned, its cute and shows the fun part of you. I enjoy reading your journey, you are loving, honest and open, very endearing qualities.

Looking mucho forward to part four!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi Shirley, thank you for the love and light that you share with me constantly :) Yes, I'm coming out. No longer hiding LOL I am glad and honored to have you with me in my journey. Hugs...

Hi VioletSun, I couldn't help it. I giggled at your comment. I guess if we just stop being fearful, life is a big "wow." LOL Thank you for being here. Much love to you my friend.


Dottie1 profile image

Dottie1 7 years ago from MA, USA

The surge of adrenaline running in your veins and the world becoming an exciting place to be in. Wow, that says it all....I am so happy for you, so very happy!:)


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi Dottie! There is nothing like it. :) God's love turns the world into a beautiful place...I'm happy too! LOL Thanks for being happy for me.


jezzbb profile image

jezzbb 7 years ago from Philippines

Hello Michelle,

You and Daisy has got a wonderful combination of supporting and nurturing each others gift. I'm glad you have finally decided to open up and share your journey with God to others.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi jezz, God sends angels in the forms of friends and big brothers like you too :) Thank you for believing in us and our dreams.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 7 years ago from Southern California, USA

I believe God has many many different types of healers in this world, so I am glad you stopped doubting yourself.  Great read as always! Nice Christmas avatar by the way!


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

Yep...you are a lucky, wonderful lady...and one day I will be where you are...'by hook or by crook'...It is a difficult road and as we stumble and fall...and get up ,each time we grow...we get closer to Him..we learn more about ourselves...one step at a time, one moment at at time...but time can seem to go so slowly...awww Thanks for your words of wisdom my dear and God Bless You...G-Ma :o) Hugs


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi Sweetie Pie, I am happy to have you here. :) Doubting can be pretty tiring but I had to go through it I guess. If there are days I get tired, I know I can just run to God and ask for a hug. That helps a lot. :)

Hi G-Ma, I thank you for the hug and yes, we learn so much of ourselves every time we fall and go through the valley of darkness. God is so good and He will always love you no matter what. {((hugs))}


Shaun Lindbergh profile image

Shaun Lindbergh 7 years ago from Cape Town, South Africa

Great hun. I'll be back for part 4! God created unity within diversity, man can only only create the illusion of unity through uniformity. When there so much diversity and beauty around us how can we not celebrate the wonder of our awesome gifts. Celebrate yourself.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Yes Shaun, can you imagine if we are all the same? It would be pretty boring LOL Celebrate me! That I am doing now... :) Thanks!


funride profile image

funride 7 years ago from Portugal

The best thing about fears is that they give us the chance to overcome it and become stronger in the end. At least the ones I am thinking right now. BTW, do not feal afraid to continue this great series of hubs, I will be also looking forward for the 5th, 6th, 7th... ;-)


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Yes Funride, it is so true. It does make us stronger in the end. :) At least that is what I've experienced as well. Thank you for your support. You are such a dear man. :-)


ALB21467 profile image

ALB21467 7 years ago from United Arab Emirates

WOW! Happiness is the Good stuff! Great Hub ripplemaker, I've enjoyed my surf!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi ALB: Thanks for the joy shared...:D


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines Author

Hi ALB: Thanks for the joy shared...:D


june688 profile image

june688 7 years ago

great hub. Thanks for your sharing.

Welcome to my blogs.

Keep in touch.


Seafarer Mama profile image

Seafarer Mama 5 years ago from New England

Yes...the power of a loving touch can calm our fears...for it is like the touch of the angels. :0)

Thank you for being true to your gifts and writing this hub, Ripplemaker.

Love to you and blessed be!


jenubouka 5 years ago

Thank you for the rawness of truth portrayed in the hub. My fears drives into anger then anxiety, then back to anger. I look forward to reading more of your articles.


jamesofaklan 5 years ago

My eyes are wet with joy for your magnificent testimonies to the world. These are the types of experiential sharing we need to share also to the young people in the church. It will strengthen their resolve when they encounter their fear and confusions.Three cheers ripplemaker . . . I will proceed to Part 4.

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