My World With Anxiety

I hate to say it but there is no easy way when it comes to dealing with anxiety. I am good, usually, at dealing with the anxiety of other people - as someone who is generally upbeat, sympathetic and reliable, people know me as someone they can trust.

My own anxiety is quite another matter. I could blame my perfectionist tendencies, the fact that I have been laughed at in the past for being sensitive or worried about stuff that regular people wouldn't or just who I am in general - but the fact is I have anxiety and while it's quite manageable most of the time, there are days where I could burst out of my skin because the energy threatening to shoot out of me is overwhelming.

It has made me a lot more tolerant of those students I know with anxiety disorders. While I am on medication and likely will be for the rest of my life, I'm okay with that. A lot of people I know that have anxiety are not al right with the possibilities of taking meds.

My kids understand a lot better what life with anxiety is like. They know there are days where I am a lot more touchy or days where I just need to be left alone, but they offer me a quiet support that most kids their ages couldn't and I love them for that.

Now that my oldest daughter seems to be experiencing panic attacks and other such issues, my anxiety has gotten worse. There is nothing worse than watching your child in pain, and when I saw her having a panic attack, it was the worst experience of my life. There was nothing I could do about it either; we were at a concert, as well as my youngest daughter, and we ended up having to leave. The youngest was understandably upset, but she understood why we needed to leave. Noise is a trigger for my girl, you see, and while she hated the thought of having to leave, my youngest still tried to be as supportive as she could at 7-years-old.

I was another matter. My mind was racing, heart pounding as I tried to come up with strategies to help my girl. Everything I tried to suggest was met with more tears and more struggles to breathe. It was terrible...and if I went down in an anxiety attack of my own, it would have been far worse. Thankfully, though, the cool air helped a great deal, and by the time we got home, she felt a little better.

I'm learning a lot about myself in learning how to live more effectively with anxiety and while I am far from perfect, I am getting to where I feel almost...normal.