My dad- one of the three musketeers

Missing You Dad

Please sit back and relax while I take you on my journey with my dad. Listen to my video, Autumn Song, by Van Morrison. He is one of my faves. My dad died in the autumn. My heart cries out in the fall for him. I miss my beautiful father. My dad, twin sister and I, had quite a special bond. We called each other the three musketeers. We were very close and loved to talk, philosophize, delve into God's realms, psychologize, and more. Today is my fathers death date. He died on this day in 1998. I was pregnant with my second child who we named Gabrielle Joanne after my dad. His name was John Anthony, so we called her JoAnne for both dad's first and middle name.

Yes, my dad was a keeper. One of our favorite things to do together was go out to lunch. We would sit way in the back or away from people because we knew we would be going very deep into conversation. We loved to talk about what heaven would be like and how it would feel to be greeted by other family members who'd already passed. We especially loved to talk psychology. Linda, my twin and I, went for our Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology. My dad was so supportive emotionally as we went through this journey. He learned as much as we did, because we would teach him all the different diagnosis's and philosophies. Dad loved to hear it all and was so proud watching my twin sister and I as we graduated.

Other family members did not really understand our connection. I think they thought we wanted to psychologize everyone. That was not true, we were just learning our trade and of course enjoyed talking about it. Dad loved the connection and conversations it brought to our relationship.

I remember one day we talked about the philosophy of forgiveness. We had to talk about a difficult situation in one of our classes. The theme from this conversation was about how my father, a man in recovery from chemical dependency, was able to say he was sorry to my twin sister and I about all the pain he put us through. We talked for hours at the Minnetonka Mist, a restaurant overlooking Spring Park Bay, on Lake Minnetonka in MN.

One of the lessons dad learned from us that day was how healing and vital it was for us to get that apology. We all cried that day and Linda and I quickly said, "we forgive you." What we realized is that he did not remember some of the stories of how verbally abusive he was when he was drinking. We told him the difference one could observe in children who never got an apology or having a parent that never recovered. What could that do to an older adult? We went on for a long time on that theme. We all inspired each other and I still have my twin who continues to inspire me.

All I know is that was one of the most healing sessions the three of us ever had and the catalyst, was what we were learning in our Master"s program.

Today I will carry my father with me in my heart like I do every day, but today I will bless him in heaven unceasingly.

Parents are so important. I will never forget the connection my dad and I had in this lifetime. I have felt him around me so many times since he died. I like knowing he still cares about my earthly life, even though he is in glory with God.

I love you John Anthony. You taught me so much about life. You taught me to speak up and let people know how I feel about them. You taught me to inspire, bring God into everything I do and offer all my gifts up to the Lord. I do this each and everyday dad. It has brought me God's abundance and so much joy.

Thank You God for the gift of my dad.

© Laura Rogers Arne

Comments 18 comments

Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 6 years ago from Minnesota

OOOHHH sis, how I miss him and loved this hub. I have been talking to your kids about this being grandpa's anniversary of when he went to heaven to be with the Lord. While you were at work I told them many stories about what a great man their grandpa was. Thanks for the nice memorial to dad. Here's to the three muskateers


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

MT, thanks for telling dad stories to the kids. It is so important.


jill of alltrades profile image

jill of alltrades 6 years ago from Philippines

Wow! What a lovely tribute to your dad. Dad's always have a kind of special bond with daughters.

I salute you three musketeers!

Thanks for sharing!


bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

It's the way it's supposed to be, but it's so hard to lose a parent. I know what you mean about Autumn. For me,it's every February.My daddy died in Feb. 2003. (BTW,I came by your article via your blog.)


Janet 6 years ago

Laura, you and Linda both had such nice tributes to your dad. How nice that you can put all those thoughts of love and wonderful memories down and share them! I forgot he had died in the fall, and I certainly didn't remember that it was just the day after my mom's death day (10/10) - hard to believe it's been 36 years for her, and longer that your mom has been gone. But still, we remember and feel their love from heaven always!!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Jillofalltrades,

I am so glad you stopped by. A bond between dads and daughters is so beautiful. My dad would love that you saluted all us three musketeers since he is an old ww2 bomber pilot.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Bayoulady, I am so glad you came to this by my blog. I feel so silly, I thought the simplicity blog was yours. My twin sister is having a hard time trying to follow you. I follow you but for some reason she can't do it. You lost your dad five years later than I did. It is hard to be an orphan.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Janet, I am so glad your were able to read this. I can't believe that your mom and my dad died one day apart. I will never forget when your mom died when we went to O.L.L. The nuns asked us to talk to you since we had been through it. The pain never leaves but we know our parents are always watching over us.


dawnM profile image

dawnM 6 years ago from THOUSAND OAKS

Hi Healing touch, nice to get to know you through this hub! I just wrote my series on how important a father is to his daughter and of course that came from the deep sadness that I still feel over lossing my father a year and a few months ago. When you have that love for your father really he is the first man that a girl will love and it sets the standard for her life in many ways. I like to think that you and I are both blessed to have had a great father when so many girls dont. Wonderful article and I felt your loss in it.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

..yes I have read your sister's tribute also and have left a comment there in which I would like you very much to read .......

Well this tribute is truly a 'healing touch' from you and a most lovely one at that - if you read the other comment you will understand why it has affected me so much - but I will leave you with a thought that is was better to have loved than not loved at all - and where ever you go in life and whatever you do your father will always be part of you - and as I say - I am who I am because of my dad and mum!


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

DawnM,

I am so sorry you recently lost your dad. Your right, we are lucky to have had such great fathers. My father was not perfect, but we had such a real honest relationship which we used to tell eachother that we always knew where we stood with eachother.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Dearest Epigramman,

I did read what your wrote to MT. I am so touched you know why your are, because of your best friends, mum and dad. Your so special. Thanks for your sincerity in your hubs and comments. It means so much to both myself and minnetonka twin.


stars439 profile image

stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Beautiful Hub. Your Dear Father will always be with you in your heart forever, and near you. God Bless You.


kids-toy-box profile image

kids-toy-box 6 years ago

A beautiful tribute! Having lost my own parents I understand your situation ...I have experienced something similar.Yes parents are important..family is important..all people are important.The key to being at peace with any situation. Despite the circumstances- someone has to be the bigger perosn by initiating forgiveness.Time is the most precious commodity we have...awe should not waste it on petty squablles but just enjoy each others company while we are alive. 'Psychologize'-I have nveer heard the term before but it is an intersting concept.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

stars439

Thanks for the reminder he will always be with me. It is comforting.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Kids toy box,

Sounds like you know what is important in life. Every moment counts, your so right. Thanks for stopping by


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

What a stunning tribute to your dad. Coincidentally I started a Hub on my dad just this afternoon - and then I find your lovely one! Mine should be up in a day or two. Hope you will enjoy it.

Love and peace

Tony


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

Tonymac04

I will look forward to reading your hub on your dad. So glad you liked my tribute. Peace

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