My own experience with Bipolar
Life with Bipolar
I have always knew I was different in some way besides being bipolar having a learning disability didnt help much in academics or in social scenario's. I was not diagnosed these two things until later in my life. In the year of 2000, I was diagnosed as having an Learning disability these sent me into a deep depression. I had other issues in my life and hearing that sent me over the deep end. I ended up trying to commit suicide and if God didnt stop me I would have killed myself. I give credit to god because I cried out to him and he answered and said, This is not worth killing yourself over think about it" yes some may think yeah! I'm sure your heard from the great creator" It's a personal experience and I dont care what others may think about this experience. Ever since then I was attending church until one day a senior friend of mine passed on and I had to stop volunteering for social services and my church. The lady in charge of the services done at my church was mad at me for quitting but I couldnt handle any ministry at that time. I ended up quitting that church due to her poor additude towards me quitting my volunteer positions at the church. Ever since I have visited churches and have not found any I really liked until it was to late and we moved yet once again. We ended up moving to Ohio, I attended a local community college to take a few classes to see how I would do I aced both classes because I didnt have to remember alot in those classes. My memory is poor and that was part of my testing when I had an IQ test done in 2000. I have accepted my plight in my life and have other skills to offer any company in clerical field or Inside sales. I have achieved two of my dreams in life I owned two businesses and modeled in my younger years and some local theatre acting. I came to accept my plight of not being able to get a degree in nursing like I had hoped. In 2005, I started feeling more moodier and had some not so motivated days. I have felt this way in the past but I felt more depressed then usual. I have added my depression a year ago with MaryJane or other known names for it. It actually helped but hubby found out and that was the end of that to help aid me. I'm currently on a mood stablizer it does help and makes me sleep better which is a plus. People with Bipolar have issues sleeping we end up staying up way late because we cant sleep at normal times. We are known to be online until way late actually it is 11:59pm, so I proved my point waiting on my medication to kick in. Life is not easy when your bipolar some bipolars have more extreme conditions then myself for example Brittany Spears cut all her hair off I would never do that because I'm on the lower end of the bipolar spectrum. There is different levels of bipolar I was fortunate to be on the lower end. My niece and nephew both have bipolar and are on the extreme end and both are currently homeless drug addicts sorry! to say in another state. I would have taken my niece in but my husband knows her track record on stealing things so he forbid me to allow her to come live with us. I am very giving person in nature if someone needs help I want to help but she is a hopeless she is so addicted to pain relievers and stealing and many other not legal things that's what happens to some bipolar people. We are prone to be addicts and prone to break laws or hurt others. I do not fit totally on that same scale as my niece. A lot of people assume your mental in a bad way if your bipolar and that's so wrong we are all not the same so Stop judging if you dont know us. We are all wired differently in if were bipolar. I just lost a friend because once I told her I was bipolar she stopped calling and ignored me all together how judgemental. I believe I'm pretty strong mentally because if not I would have already killed myself my faith has helped me tremendously. I have been hurt by many friends and family and it hurts and I push past that pain to make myself more hopeful. I believe more people need to educate themselves on bipolar people because a lot dont understand them and give up on them without giving them a chance. Just try not to piss us off, lol!
How to cope with bipolar is stay on medications prescribed and go to therapy and my faith has also helped in reading verses to help me think more positive. I feel better now that I'm on a mood stabilizer and in therapy. I still have days I dont care to go any where or do anything but I know I am better. Bipolar will never go away it will always be my second half so to speak I am conquering my bad thoughts so that is where I feel more powerful then most with bipolar. I found this quote and it does remind me of some of my bad days. I hope I gave you a better understanding of people with bipolar most people have no clue what bipolar is and I wanted to share my life experience with others to some what educate and give you a glimse of my life with bipolar.
If life is a bowl of cherries what am I doing in the pits by Erma Bombeck
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- NIMH Bipolar Disorder
A detailed booklet that describes Bipolar Disorder symptoms, causes, and treatments, with information on getting help and coping.