My sweet dementing Mother
Love is caring
I am not sure just where to begin, because I have been going through so many strange feelings and thoughts. The world (our beautiful world), the predictions of it ending, the endless e-mails about not being afraid to recognize and proudly honor the God we so trust in , believe in, the sights I see daily where my Mother is now spending her last days, the wonder and worry of it all can be so overwhelming.
Today though was the annual BBQ they provide the families at the home my Mother lives in. The care-givers as well as the Corporate staff do work hard and present a very nice, colorful,tasty meal. Everyone has a table to share with their loved ones and like at my mom's table we shared with another sweet couple. The woman has her husband there as I have my mom there.
She and I had a lot of fun chatting and discussing the way we feel , what we do at night to help get through these tough times. This BBQ was definitely a nice place to be in this July 2011.
When I arrived (early, honestly so I could secure a good parking spot) I went looking for mom, but not until I checked out the table we were assigned to , making sure we would be able to eat comfortably, since she is now in a wheelchair all the time. The care-giver and I discussed the best way to accommodate both my Mother and the couple that would be joining us. That settled I found her in another section of the home at a window watching the birds enjoy their food.
It was the strangest thing, often the folks at the home comment on the fact that we are dressed a like, in the colors we wear etc., but it is all a pure un-planned thing as the care-givers have no idea what I will be wearing. So as God and the Angels would have it today was no exception. I had on a black outfit and wore a black , shiny gold scarf...Mom had on a white and gold suit like outfit I had bought for her a while back and a white , shiny gold scarf. I almost cried. she looked so sweet (even with her black eye, from the fall she took out of her wheelchair a week ago) and she also recognized we were dressed a lot a like. Now I must say the care-giver is an alert wonderful lady and she probably took great effort to dress her this way,but had no way of knowing how I would dress for this event. Actually I was going to wear jeans and a red plaid shirt, ha ha if only I had still fit in them...
" Anyway this is really about what a fun and special day this was, "live in the moment" and be thankful these corporations do provide such fun days.Mom was happy loved her burger, though it was puree'd, but look at the picture, and it was tasty cause I always taste what I feed her. We were served lemonade with 7-up with ice, then coffee with a very nice cupcake. Looked like it was from "Cupcake Wars" a contest on the food channel.
However as always after the meal was over the residents are all full and ready for their nap, just to continue like nothing was different. It was much the same but made the family members feel a bit more like it was Home and these are memories not to be forgotten.
It is a wonderful feeling, even if for just one meal to have so many together in an old time fashion...BBQ ing and having fun.
I Thank God for each day I have with her, I know who she is even if she doesn't remember who I am...but who am I to say she doesn't remember, just because she is unable to speak.
I present this for the new folks that may just be dealing with dementia for the first time. Have faith, be strong, read and learn all you can. Go to group meetings and always smile when in their presence.......:O) Hugs G-Ma