NLP-The Art of Communication & Understanding Others!
What is NLP?
NLP stands for Neuro-linguistics Programming. This science started as a medium of exploring the relationship between neurology, linguistics and the other different patterns of the human behavior. NLP came to being at the University of California, Santa Cruz in 1973 to 1979. The pioneers of NLP were the linguistics professor John Grinder with the help of his student Richard Bandler who formed the early rules and stages of this new science. Later on, with the rigorous expanding of NLP community, extensive studies were conducted by the NLP community to formulate and establish NLP as an independent study and new research methodology was set. NLP depended on various programs like neurology studies, philosophy and psychotherapy and in the period 1981-1983 Ross Steward completed PhD-level research to validate the use of the above mentioned “metaprograms” together. Briefly, what all these people attempted to do is to ‘simplify” several sciences and bring them to use by merging their mental teachings and rules together to produce finally what’s called the NLP or the art of communication. Now, away from all that frigid explanation, we come to see a much developed NLP and a fun one. It has many applications these days and it’s widely used especially in HR, criminology or just in personal purpose. Below, we will shed light on some of these applications.
Eye accessing Cues:
In brief, eye movements indicate how a person is thinking. You can tell whether they are imagining, recalling a picture, flashbacking to an event or just remembering a tiny little thing like a name. Here, if you know that person enough, you can program yourself and notice all these eye movements which will finally enable you to somehow read their mind or know what they are thinking at this exact moment. How can we utilize this technique? Well, for example, how do you know that someone is lying to you or telling you the truth? There is a standard eye direction which is only approximate and may vary but it’s available for the sharp-eyed observer. Looking up to the left means that person is constructing an image. Looking up to the right means the person’s brain is remembering something. There are lots of cues and one cannot comprehend all of them unless you observe and be precise. So, to know for sure the eye movement of a particular person, first you need to ask 2 or 3 easy questions which both of you know the answer for. Since the person won’t lie about it, you can watch their eyes and see where they went intuitively. However, researches show that most of the people who tell the truth move their eyes upward to the left. But since there are always exceptions, this is not a general rule. Just make sure to ask a question that requires a brief scan of the memory like what did they have for breakfast or what did they wear yesterday .Now and after this step, ask for what you want to know and watch the eyes. If the eyes went to the opposite direction of the educed ‘truth” from the previous step, then they are lying to you and it is 99% guaranteed result.
What we discussed above is some of the NLP techniques. NLP can be widely used in many domains and can be useful in sales and marketing, sports and personality development...etc. For more information, you may visit the official site: www.nlp.com
Rapport is the harmony, mutual likeness, recognition and acceptance among people. This technique is fundamental for successful communication and the ability to create rapport is a skill that can be learned. It is a skill by which we can establish a strong background of harmony and appreciation with others or with those people whom we deeply disagree with. We have many methods to create rapport with someone like: try to gently match the non-verbal communication specially eye contact and voice tonality. Don’t seem distracted or look away when the other person is talking to you because this will create discomfort and make that person avoid talking to you again. Just keep the “pace” and show “genuine” interest in what they say. Try to ask questions about details in his story, try to agree or disagree, try to comment or argue. However, we don’t always like what the other might be saying, so either bid that person a subtle goodbye or divert the subject also subtly. You need to find some similarities between you and that person like a habit or a hobby and only then, you can link them to yours and discuss them vividly. Also, everyone should be aware of the fact that the dearest and the loveliest word in our vocabularies are our NAME! Our names are few letters but they are deeply rooted in our personalities which urge us to respond instantly to any sentence that begins with our names. Thus, train your memory to memorize people’s names and start your talk by using their names because people find it insulting to forget their names after they already have told you.
Anchor: is a term used in NLP to denote a deep feeling about certain word, phrase or behavior. In other words, anchor is mainly a reminder to our brains to send certain command which will accordingly produce certain emotions or sensations that we call ‘state’. This state can be pleasure, hatred, love, pain and thousands of other states. Emotions don’t happen or just exist by themselves; rather, they happen for a reason and there are forces to drive them. For example, each one of us has thousands of anchors that are set up by you or by others around you since childhood. So, since we have all these anchors, can we control them? Of course not, not even 1 %. However, we can still locate and define them. For instance, when you listen to a specific song, you remember something let’s say unpleasant because it is linked to unhappy occasion like departing with a dear person. Hearing a dog barking brings fear because you were bitten by a dog previously. Smelling freshly cooked food reminds you of your childhood. These incidents are anchors created themselves in your subconscious which trigger particular emotional responses. It’s true we can not control our anchors, but still we can avoid them or avoid any pain inflicted because of them. First of all, start hunting your anchors which catapult you in a bad mood, distress or any unpleasant state. This anchor-hunting will not help you get rid of them, but will make you recognize the triggers that provoked the unwelcome moods. So, once you trace out the anchor, you’ll easily link it to a certain provoker like a sound, gesture, song, touch. Simply, reduce that provoker to a minimum by getting away from that person or sound, turn off the radio or change the channel, try to distract yourself a bit by thinking of another pleasant issue. This way, you’ll neutralize the source of your anchor.
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