Naming the Cutting Edge Health Products

Naming the Cutting Edge Health Products

Cutting edge health products result from high tech research into the human genome. Unfortunately, naming these products becomes extremely challenging. Applying sciency names often results in difficult to pronounce amalgams that languish on health store shelves. Drug companies and natural remedy manufacturers employ hypersmart research chemists to develop wonderful new products and marketing geniuses to synthesize product names that have the potential to become household words.

Naming a cutting health product requires several types of information to be communicated to potential customers:

  1. the body part or organ being targeted,
  2. the quickness that relief arrives, and
  3. the health advantage provided by the product.

Whenever possible, a product name that sounds remotely scientific provides a huge boost to the message. Marketing managers endeavor to strike a balance between titles that convey too much science, thereby becoming difficult to pronounce and impossible to remember.

For example, joint pain afflicts anyone over the age of 45. To that end, multitudes of over the counter treatments purport to relieve and even reverse the pain caused by sore knees, hands, shoulders, and feet. A product name must instantly being to mind the range of motion that will be restored and also the time frame in which that relief can be expected. Some possibilities for attractive product names might be:

  • HappyFlex
  • InstaBending
  • ImmedoTwist
  • FlexoQuick
  • UrgentStraighten

Cutting Edge Health Products

Cardio (heart) issues often present a major concern for adult humans. Some doctors suggest ingesting aspirin on a regular basis as a prophylactic. We here at the Institute for the Painfully Obvious strongly urge everyone to get a doctor's opinion before beginning any drug regimen. On the other hand a list of possibly appropriate product names presents itself.

  • CardioDirect
  • TickerUpper
  • HeartyHelper
  • BestBeat

Cutting Edge Nasal Products

Many of us experience nasal allergies, deviated septums, and infections in our sinus systems. Drug companies and natural remedy manufacturers work hard to provide us with a wide array of lotions and potions to potentially feel better. All these products require marketing names that leap to the tongue and remain at the front of the brain.

  • SinoSavior
  • InstaNosey
  • MuzzleMedic
  • SeptumStabilizer
  • CureASnout

Some Science Fragments are Permissible

Multi-syllabic phrases lifted directly from (peer-reviewed) scientific journals seldom attract health-seeking customers with money to burn. However, a scientific fragment strategically placed in a product name may provide a much needed sales boost. The trick is to select word bits from Real Science that have actually been heard by the populace, hopefully not on The View in the context of a celebrity drug overdose. We rest assured that folks don't actually understand the meanings, we simply provide familiar and pronounceable word sounds.

  • Amino
  • Ortho
  • Evo
  • Hydrate
  • Chloro
  • Bio

Add a secret ingredient to the Cutting Edge Name

As day follows night, health care products cannot be released to general populace without the addition of a special ingredient. Consumers long to purchase bottles of stuff that not only include everyday miracle cures, but also pack the wallop of "with". No line of wonder drugs is complete unless it includes just a little more:

  • KneeLube with HyperFlexoHydrates
  • HandHealth including double the aminoTitrates of the nearest competitor
  • StimuCardio now with MaxBioGoodness
  • FlexiFoot fortified with MegaChloroHydrides

Conclusion

Create your own cutting edge health product names for fun and profit.

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Comments 9 comments

The Old Firm profile image

The Old Firm 6 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

And this site is advertising "Neti Pot"(As seen on Dr O)!

Can't work out what that does? Well it's "effective allergy and sinus relief." Presumably it contains the effects of flatulence.

Cheers.

PS, also found an add for "Biomagnetic Magna-Sleep" for you insomniacs. It's a blanket with lots of little magnets in it that'll stop your watch and stuff up your cell-phone, and is advertised on TV here by a pom (limey) with a very common accent.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV

Nicomp,

How about a bio laxative hyperquickpoop.

Don't leave home once you've taken it.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@The Old Firm: Certainly it's been FDA and Oprah-approved.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Tom Whitworth: Well done. You have combined two products that modern society cannot do without.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 6 years ago

LOL. Nasal product CureASnout has a subliminal message too which adds to it's marketing potential. Suspecting oneself of being a pig (and many of us do, secretly) we might subconciously believe it will cure us of that too - an added bonus!


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

nicomp - this is one of your best. Could be a jumpstart for a whole bunch of copycats.

Do you think there might be a market for Ass-pirin? for hemorrhoids?


AARON99 6 years ago

This hub is wonderfully written. Well done. Enjoy.


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

lol, bio laxative hyperquickpoop. Thanks Tom for that one. Imagine the price check on that one...Ahem.

nicomp—great hub. :)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

I don't even remember writing this.

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