Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Behind The Mask Of Sanity (Malignant Self-Love/Narcissism)

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The Self-Styled Narcissist

Has anyone ever told you that they are inflicted with or have been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

If so, it's highly unlikely that they actually do have the personality disorder and they are most likely just a 'self-styled' narcissist - in other words, they don't truly understand what malignant narcissism/self-love really is, they haven't been diagnosed with it and they probably just want to be a narcissist because they find it appealing or can relate to it, due to their own misunderstanding of the disorder.

Such people are often, however, either liars who are making false claims for attention; something which real narcissists often do, or wrongly believe that they may be narcissists. However, no narcissist (regardless of whether they have been diagnosed or not) will ever make the claim that they suffer with or have been diagnosed with NPD and if a person does claim this then they are contradicting themselves in the same sentence; once again something which real narcissists often do and should you confront them about it, then they will make out that you must be crazy.

Anyone who even considers that they may be a narcissist can rest assured that they are definitely not one. A true narcissist would never be willing to consider it in the first place.

The Real Narcissist

A true narcissist is not willing to consider the possibility that they may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, not now and not ever and this is one of the main traits that characterizes the disorder; it's all about denial and repression. To a narcissist, they are not the problem - it's everyone else who is crazy.

The more you continue to confront them about their disorder, the more (narcissistic) abuse they will inflict on you. Keep pushing and they will start to convince other people that you have a problem without you knowing they're doing it. Those people, however, will not able to see the narcissist for what they really are and will believe the narcissist's lies about you. The narcissist is an expert at twisting the situation to make you look like the bad guy (or girl).

They have an incredible capacity for using psychological techniques and trickery to manipulate their victim(s) into certain desired situations or circumstances which either causes the victim(s) to question things, or forces them into a trap, or causes them to question their own perception of events. In terms of diagnosis there is only one standard diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. A person either has it or they don't, there is no in in-between and there is no other diagnosis.

In other words, people who claim to have been diagnosed with perhaps Borderline-Narcissism or Covert Narcissistic Personality Disorder cannot have been diagnosed as such because it is not an official diagnosis. It may have been acknowledged that they have those traits but Narcissistic Personality Disorder is remarkably difficult to diagnose. Official diagnosis mostly refers to what would be referred to a either Elite-Narcissism or Classic-Narcissism.

In official diagnostics, Malignant Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are considered to be two separate things. Whereas the official diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder mainly refers to Classic Narcissism, Malignant Narcissism is currently an experimental category.

Narcissists & Therapy

Trying to get a narcissist to go to therapy is a bad idea and it's highly unlikely that it will ever happen. Even if you successfully manage to get a narcissist to go to therapy, you will be asking for trouble. They will most likely manipulate the therapist into believing that you are the problem, the narcissist and the therapist will end up tag-teaming you and you'll end up worse off than you were when you started.

For this reason, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is often diagnosed by proxy. However, a diagnosis by proxy is not an official diagnosis.

No type of therapy or counseling has ever been shown to result in improvement of someone inflicted with NPD. The only way a narcissist can ever improve is if they go through an extremely traumatic, powerful and false-self shattering experience which is, once again, highly unlikely and is very rare. There is no cure for NPD, treatment is ineffective and there is no medication available to help treat the disorder.

Narcissistic Statistics

Whilst officially being acknowledged that up to 1% of the general population are inflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, more recent studies now show that up to 6.2% of the general population may have the disorder with 8% of men and 5% of women being inflicted, indicating that most narcissists are male.

There are, however, also a few more million men in the world than there are women. The statistics show that studies show that there may be 60-million people in the world with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, with about twenty eight million of them being female, the other thirty two million being male. Nineteen million of those narcissists are located in America, whilst over three-and a half million of them are in the UK.

The UK's population only makes up 1% of the world's total population. If the official statistic of 1% of the world's population having Narcissistic Personality Disorder was true, that would mean that the UK is a large enough country to accommodate all of the narcissists world!

© 2015 Sparkster Hubs

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Comments 7 comments

Sparklea profile image

Sparklea 16 months ago from Upstate New York

Excellent information here. I have a friend whose parents are both narcissists. Also my sister dated one, plus her ex husband has a daughter who is that way. They are the most awful to be around. My sister divorced her husband as this girl was just unbearable...My friend has been through hell and back with her parents and she has totally eliminated them from her life. I know, for myself, I could not bear to be around any person of this type. THANK YOU for this excellent write. Blessings, Sparklea


Some flower... 14 months ago

Well personally, im in love with one of these types. Its not as horrible as you might think. It is what it is.


sparkster profile image

sparkster 14 months ago from United Kingdom Author

I was in love with a covert narcissist for over a decade and it was worse than I could have ever imagined. Its insidious and gets worse gradually over the years. If you can accept it and make it work then good for you. Just makes sure its acceptance and not denial and make sure youre not being deceived.


Sunflower 14 months ago

Well as your article points out, the narcissistic people aren't constantly honest and its a part of their narcissism...so how would i know if I were being deceived? Ive just decided to honor the love i feel and let the rest be poppycock. It feels good too. A long time coming. The heart wants what it wants.


sparkster profile image

sparkster 14 months ago from United Kingdom Author

The article attempts to point out that these types of people are not really narcissists. How would you know if you were being deceived? Intuition - your subconscious mind would pick up on the clues which would haunt you as nightmares, or perhaps flashbacks, potentially leading on to PTSD. You would be being controlled and manipulated into any desired situation and there would be nothing you can do about it. You would not be able to live life the way you want, it would be out of control. Are you sure they are a narcissist? How can being in love with a narcissist "feel good"? "The heart wants what it wants" - seems to me that either they are not a narcissist or, if they are, then you yourself may be an inverted narcissist (co-narcissist).


sunflowerforests profile image

sunflowerforests 14 months ago from The light in the forest of doubt.

You were right. I was wrong. There is no being in love with someone who cant love you back.


sparkster profile image

sparkster 14 months ago from United Kingdom Author

Heres something to think about (relationship dynamics): when there is a lack of love in a relationship that love is automatically replaced with abuse (whatever form it takes).

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