Coping with Loss and Grief During the Holidays

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Not Everyone is Merry This Christmas: Loss & Grief During the Holidays

No matter what time of year it is, the death of a loved one is never an easy process to go through. Holiday seasons can be extremely painful. Feeling depressed and sad during the holidays can be even more difficult when everyone else around you seems to be “jolly” and in a festive spirit.

If you are grieving this holiday season, you are not alone.

It is inevitable that many families throughout the world are mourning during the holidays.

Whether you recently lost a loved one, you miss someone you lost years ago, or you realize that time is limited and this may be the last holiday you will be able to celebrate with a certain loved one who is facing death, it is normal that our emotions are intensified during the holiday season.

There is no right or wrong way to handle your grief during the holidays. Everyone’s grieving process is different. Everyone’s grieving process is personal and unique.

It can be debilitating as we mourn the loss of a loved one and our mind struggles to make sense out of things that happened. There is no magic pill that helps us eliminate all the emotions that we may go through. Yet it is important to go through the process. Time does ease the pain.

Stages of the grieving process.  Created by Sharyn's Slant
Stages of the grieving process. Created by Sharyn's Slant

Going through the grieving process is stressful and exhausting. Try to keep these things in mind to take care of yourself!

  • Be gentle with yourself
  • Do not feel obligated to do things you do not feel like doing
  • Give yourself all the time you need to grieve
  • Express your feelings
  • Allow others to help
  • Try not to isolate yourself
  • Do not be afraid to let others know what you may need
  • As your energy permits ~ stay busy and active
  • Do not feel guilty if you smile, laugh and have fun
  • Eat healthy
  • Get proper rest

Who says you can’t take the holidays off this year?

The reality is that holidays will not be the same after the loss of a loved one. They will simply be different.

If you have children or others that you take care of, it's important that you try to consider what they may be going through at this time as well. But if you are mainly just responsible for yourself, and if you truly feel that participating in the holidays is too hard for you, it is okay if you need to “cancel.” The holidays will come around again. And chances are that you will enjoy them again.

Source

Ideas for celebrating the life of those that have passed on:

  • Dedicate a prayer at your holiday dinner
  • Make a donation in honor of your loved one
  • Share your favorite memories
  • Light a candle
  • Make a toast in remembrance
  • Create a memory book
  • Share photos and videos
  • Dedicate a mass
  • Hang a stocking
  • Celebrate old traditions
  • Start new traditions

Other Types of Loss and Causes of Personal Grief

Grief accompanies loss . . . which means your loss could be something other than the death of a loved one.

Maybe you have been diagnosed with an illness. Did you lose a job? Are you struggling to make ends meet? Are you stuck in a depression? Maybe you are going through a painful relationship breakup? Did you lose your favorite pet?

Loss comes in many forms. No matter what loss is causing your grief, be gentle with yourself and reach out if you need help.

How to Help Someone Who is Grieving During the Holidays

If someone special to you is grieving this holiday season, do your best to let them know you care. You may not agree with how the grieving person wishes to handle the holidays. But keep in mind that you will not find a "rule book" on the proper ways to grieve. Every situation is unique.

Source

Haiku Poetry Dedicated To Those I’m Missing This Holiday Season


MOM (9/4/1937 - 11/8/2005)

Truly were the best

Friend that I could ever have

That will never change.


GRANDMA (7/11/1905 - 2/23/2008)

Miss your gentle touch

Always scratching others backs

Healing hands of yours.


KIM (12/18/1968 - 10/8/2011)

May not understand

Wish that we could talk today

Hope you are at peace.


DAD (9/29/31 - 1/17/2014)

Unexpected loss

Definitely not prepared

We will meet again.


This is Sharyn's Slant

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Comments 76 comments

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Absolutely amazing. I'm sure so many people could relate to this article. I know I can. We do the best we can. I agree if one feels the need to cancel then by all means they should! I loved your Haiku's. You are a beautiful person Miss Sharyn Slant. Ho, Ho, Ho to you!:)


BRIAN SLATER profile image

BRIAN SLATER 4 years ago from Nottingham Uk

Excellent hub and very timely for me - voted up and thankyou.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri

Sharyn, this is such good advice. Two years ago Christmas Eve my family lost my oldest sister. Five weeks later we lost our Mother. A multitude of feelings and memories go into the grieving process, and it is a difficult time. Great hub! Thanks for writing it! Voted up and awesome.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

So true Sharyn - for some the holidays are lonely and depressing. I hope that you are following all your own rules:) I have always had mixed feelings during holidays regardless of my personal life - it's just so commercialized and the real point gets over looked. Yep like Sunshine said - we just gotta do the best we can but I tell you - I heave a great sigh of relief on 12/26!!!!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

Sharyn, your compassionate heart shines in this Hub. While I am happy, indeed peaceful, the holidays and birthdays are the most difficult. I shall take your great advice and I send you wishes for a wonderful Christmas. May you receive back everything you have sent out to others in this season of wonder.


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dear Sharon,

This is a 'healthy', meaningful and universal article for you to have written and your many loving followers to read. I especially love your suggestion to 'cancel' if too much... and your touching haikus.

You are in my continued thoughts and prayers for a tender, gentle and peaceful holiday knowing that you are very loved, Maria


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hey Sunshine,

Your comments are so sweet. Thank you! Yup, we do the best we can :) I hope you and your family are enjoying this season. Thank you for bringing "sunshine" into my life.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Brian,

Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Wishing you a peaceful holiday season.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Dear Sholland,

I am sorry to hear about your Mom and sister. I hope that wonderful memories of these two special women shine for you throughout this holiday season. Take care,

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Kelly,

You are right. Many people don't like the holidays for other reasons that don't include loss and grief. It is very commercialized. So much work goes into planning the holiday season and in the end, it can be very disappointing. And feelings of loneliness and depression don't just stop because it's Christmas. I could understand being relieved on the day after . . .

btw, I'm doing okay and following my "rules." I'm not cancelling the holidays, just keeping them simple. Thank you for your support. Don't forget to take time for yourself this season.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Dear HB,

Thank you for your special feedback and wonderful wishes. I hope that your holidays remain happy and peaceful.

Sharyn


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Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Maria,

I'm so glad you liked the Haiku's. I never wrote any before other than helping my nephew with his homework. And I do think that if you just can't mentally and/or emotionally participate in the holidays, it certainly is okay to give yourself a break. Or do what I feel like this year, just keep it simple. Thank you for your support and prayers. I hope you are enjoying a meaningful holiday season.

Sharyn


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Thank you for sharing those gentle, tender haikus, Sharyn. Well done. May your Holiday be Happy.


Cardisa profile image

Cardisa 4 years ago from Jamaica

You are so right, there is someone grieving as we speak and your advice is great too.

Have a blessed holiday season and may your heart be comforted as you remember your loved ones.


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK

A tender and compassionate hub that will be a comfort to many.

Wishing you a peaceful season.


Marjatta profile image

Marjatta 4 years ago

Thank you, Sharyn. You expressed exactly what I'm feeling this holiday season over the recent loss of my beloved partner. Grief is always there, but we can be kinder to ourselves and not try to force the healing process or do things our hearts are just not up to yet. We will all find our way through it ... eventually. God bless and thanks again.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Beautiful Haiku's. Christmas can be a difficult holiday to get through, and I like your ideas of how to remember our loved ones that have passed. Take care and hope that you enjoy your holidays.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

It is difficult it's my first Christmas without my MOM.. she was amazing.. but I have grandchildren and that love me and I adore them.. so I am focusing on them to know about Jesus and have a good Christmas for them..MERRY CHRISTMAS..


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Thank you DRbj,

I appreciate your comments and hope that you have a happy holiday as well!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Cardisa,

Thank you for your gentle comments. Wishing you a blessed holiday season!

Sharyn


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Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello Melovy,

Thank you for stopping by to read and comment. I do hope my thoughts help comfort others who are grieving this holiday season. Wishing you a peaceful holiday.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Dear Marjatta,

It's great to meet you. Welcome to HubPages. I'm sorry to hear about your partner. I do think it is important not to force the grieving process. You are right. Sometimes there are things our heart is just not up to yet. Take care of ~ and be gentle with ~ yourself as you go through this holiday season. Wishing you the best!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Susan,

I started to write one poem that would encompass all and then I thought I'd do the "haiku thing" since it seems there is haiku fever all around :) Thank you for stopping by. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Dear Deborah,

Anytime of year is difficult without our Mother. To me, losing my mom was extremely devastating. The holidays seem to reinforce what we miss too. Focusing on your grandchildren and family is a great way to stay "present" during the holidays. And teaching them about the real meaning of Christmas is what it should all be about. Wishing you a peaceful holiday!

Sharyn


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

You touch on the fact that there is a real dark side to the holdiays.. there are people who are totally alone and hurting. It can be hard to reach out to people who are isolated because they want to "nurse" their pain. You give some wonderful advice for those in this situation. Well done.. and I hope you aren't among the lonley.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Tammy,

Thank you for your awesome comments. It is important that people do not remain isolated so that they do not go into a deeper depression. I will be with friends and family this holiday season. Although I don't feel as "merry" or "motivated" as I have other years ~ I know it will be okay. Hope you have a great holiday.

Sharyn


Pinky Davo 4 years ago

After all these years, I haven't been able to deal with the death of my father. I simply avoided dealing with the mourning process. Thanks for the advice written here.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Pinky,

Nice to meet you and welcome to HubPages. Unfortunately, I believe many people avoid going through the grieving process. I'm sure you are not alone. I hope that in time, you will feel ready to go through the process that I feel is important for your own well being. Best wishes,

Sharyn


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 4 years ago

Thanks Sharon for sharing this Enriching Hub and all your good thoughts, and Advice on how to handle the Holiday Seasons when there is Grief. A subject that seems to be Tabu...Grief is hard to bare, but so much harder this time of year...Thank You my Friend.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi B,

Thank you for your wonderful feedback. It is very much appreciated. I hope you are enjoying this holiday season.

Sharyn


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 4 years ago from South Carolina

This hub is a must read for anyone who is grieving and feeling alone with their grief this holiday season. It is filled with compassionate and practical advice for handling the intensified feelings that many must cope with due to loss. Thanks so much for sharing the wisdom that has grown out of your own journey with loss.

As you said so eloquently, everyone's grieving process is personal and unique. What's important is that we let the grieving person know we love and support them in whatever measures they take to deal with their grief over the holidays.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful, heartfelt hub and the loving Haiku tribute poems to those you have loved and lost.

Sending Hub Hugs and Love,

Gail


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

My father had died in 1989 and we still miss him every Christmas. Especially on Christmas we are so aware of his absence.

Sharon, this was a great idea - to write a hub about grief we have to cope with during the Christmas season. Thumbs up!


Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 4 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

Thanks for this. My mother became sick just before Christmas 13 years ago and died shortly thereafter. It changed Christmas for me. I still celebrate but it is not the same.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

THIS IS TRULY BEAUTIFUL AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING.

TAKE CARE AND ENJOY YOUR DAY.

EDDY.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Gail,

Thank you for your beautiful, heartfelt comments. I do believe that going through the grieving process is a very personal journey. I really appreciate your support and hugs. Thank YOU!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Martie,

To me, it doesn't matter how long it has been since a loved one left us - there is always a place that is empty during the holidays. Thank you for your special feedback.

Sharyn


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Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello Uninvited Writer,

I understand. This is the sixth Christmas without my Mom and it will never be the same. Mom had a way of bringing everything together and we have so many special memories and traditions that Mom started. We try to continue the traditions, but there is definitely a feeling of loss. Sure, we still celebrate the holidays, but there are special touches that are missing. Wishing you a peaceful holiday!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello Dear Eddy,

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I hope you are enjoying this holiday season!

Sharyn


snakeslane profile image

snakeslane 4 years ago from Canada

This is timely advice Sharyn's Slant. Your Haiku messages are touching. Thank you. Regards, snakeslane


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello snakeslane,

Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I really appreciate your feedback. I hope you are enjoying the holiday season!

Sharyn


thebluestar profile image

thebluestar 4 years ago from Northern Ireland

My dear friend Sharon, I am so happy that I stopped by this morning. You have given me a breath of fresh air in my gloom. Thank you so much for the lovely advice on my way to happy memories. Net:)


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Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Good Morning Blue,

Last night, I read what happened to your precious pup. Such a difficult loss! I am so sorry. No doubt that has caused some grieving this holiday season. Take deep breaths and try to relax. Keep in mind all your special memories. And keep close all those who love you.

I'm glad you stopped by - best wishes always!

Sharyn


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Made me cry. But it does give me an understanding on how to deal with myself more. Thank you so much for all of your beautiful words.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Julianna,

The older I get, of course, I have had to deal with the loss of many special people in my life. But seriously, to me, there is no greater loss than your mother. I wish my mom was here with me all the time. Yet, I do know that she is watching over me. That special bond with a mother is one that never goes away. In time, you will feel better. It took me a long time. Be gentle with yourself.

Sharyn


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

After the loss of my brother last year, I know Christmas is particularly painful for my family. Your wonderful hub gives credence to what we still feel and experience during the holidays. I love the idea of "dedicating a mass" - I am going to call my mother's parish in Colorado to have them do just that. Thank you so much!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi CC ~ gosh, I had no idea that you lost your brother last year. I am so sorry to hear. Dedicating a mass for him is a great honor. Thanks for your feedback. I hope the holidays are pleasant for you and your family. Sending big hugs,

Sharyn


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Thank you for this thoughtful Christmas gift for those of us who are missing someone this holiday season. I have a cousin who is mourning her husband and her mother who she lost less than three months apart. I'm sharing this especially for her.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

Coping with the loss of a loved one is common during the holiday season and is especially difficult during the first one after that person's death. Your suggestions to help mourners cope, as well as to honor their loved one, are excellent. Thanks for this beautiful hub.

Voted Up++++

Jaye


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Kathleen ~ Thank you so much for passing this on to your cousin. Grieving is difficult any time of year but the holidays seem to make it even harder. I appreciate you stopping by.

Sharyn


moonlake profile image

moonlake 4 years ago from America

Your suggestions are right on. It seems in our family and friends we lose someone during the holidays every year. Two days ago my friend died. I will miss her.

Voted up on your hub.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Jaye ~ Yes, it is definitely very difficult the first holiday after a loved one has passed. Nothing is the same and it can be difficult to cope. In time, the pain of grief usually eases up but - it takes time. I hope these suggestions are helpful to many who are grieving this holiday season. Thank you so much for your feedback!

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Moonlake ~ Oh, so sorry to hear about your friend. It's really hard when someone we love passes around the holidays. Of course, it's difficult anytime but you know what I mean. Thanks for your comments and votes. Take care,

Sharyn


FloBe profile image

FloBe 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

My Dad passed away in January this year and then my Mom followed in July. I have tried to do things this Christmas season that bring out good memories. I've been doing a lot of baking because that evokes good memories of my Mom. I am trying to "include" them in the process so it isn't so hard. I'm glad people are recognizing that Christmas isn't always easy for those who are facing loss in their life. Thanks.


SEXYLADYDEE profile image

SEXYLADYDEE 4 years ago from Upstate NY

My Mother committed suicide many years ago and it took 20 plus years to recover from it. But her birthday is Dec 30th. During that week I still have to zone out so that I don't become overwhelmed with my loss and the loss of my children and grandson not having her in their lives. Giving yourself permission to skip a holiday when you can't manage the feelings and emotions was sooo on point. Thanks for the good advice and honesty. Dee


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi FloBe ~ Gosh, that has to be so difficult losing both parents in such a short time. My grandparents (dad's side) both died in the same year about six months apart and that was hard. My mom passed away seven years ago now and my dad, my sisters (and the grand kids) and I still do things during the holiday that are what mom would have done. There are certain things like this kielbasi and sour kraut that my mom used to make (her special recipe) and I have taken that on. I believe it took me a couple years, but now it tastes just like hers. My mom always made sure we had a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas so we make sure we have continued that tradition in her memory. Things like that.

I love how you say you are trying to "include" them in the process. That is wonderful. Your holidays will be different yet I hope you are able to remember fond memories while building new ones too. I wish you the best this holiday season.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Dee ~ That is so sad about your Mom. I lost someone close to suicide just a year ago, so I can understand. I do think that if someone cannot manage the emotions that go along with trying to "celebrate" the holidays, who says they have to do it. Skipping a holiday is okay. I wish you and your family a peaceful holiday season. Thanks so much for your feedback!

Sharyn


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 4 years ago from sunny Florida

You are so right...not everyone will find joy and happiness at this time of the year. Losing a loved one near the holiday time can cause the grief process to be take much longer. Not only have you lost the loved one but a holiday you probably enjoyed very much is now a reminder of that loss. That first year after losing the loved one is full of so many firsts...and the first Christmas without the precious family member compounds the grief. Time does help to distance us from the grief but there is always an emptiness around the holidays when a beloved family member is no longer here to share it with us.

You have presented so clearly how to cope during this time when it is so difficult.

And yes, grief does take many forms for sure. Sending Angels your way ps


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 4 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi PS ~ When you lose a loved one near the holidays, it just makes the grieving process that much harder. But no matter when a loved one dies, going through the "first" of everything for the next year can be extremely difficult. I think the same could be said of other reasons for grief too. For example, let's say you are in a relationship break up right during the holidays. That grief is hard to cope with too. I hope that my words here help others be gentle with themselves and understand that everyone's grief process is unique and there is no right or wrong. Thank you so much for your feedback and sending the angels too.

Sharyn


mary615 profile image

mary615 3 years ago from Florida

This Hub really hit home with me, and I'm sure many others. I keep thinking of the parents of those little children in Conn. I think of the presents that were purchased early to be gifted. Heartbreaking.

Beautiful Hub. I voted this UP, etc.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 3 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Mary ~ thank you so much. I know, I keep thinking of those in Connecticut also. It is heartbreaking. How can they possibly have a decent holiday. Wow. I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. Take care,

Sharyn


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 3 years ago from North Carolina

This is a great hub for so many. The holidays can be tough when you are missing a loved one. Great advice and I hope you have a great Christmas.


FullOfLoveSites profile image

FullOfLoveSites 3 years ago from United States

Sometimes the grief can be really unbearable, especially if you used to spend with your loved ones every holiday season. You might just instead want to lock up in your room and refuse to celebrate with your family and friends, and wallow in sorrow. I've experienced that before. But I know that in spirit they wouldn't want us to shield yourself from the holidays... Coping with loss is hard in this festive season but I know we'll get through it... just spend our holidays, and even just our ordinary days, with our loved ones as long as they're alive. The heavens up there would smile on us then! :)

Thanks for sharing your hub. voted up and beautiful. :)


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 3 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Tammy ~ thanks so much for stopping by to read and comment. I hope you and your family are enjoying this holiday season.

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 3 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello FullOfLoveSites ~ It's great to meet you. I really appreciate your comments and agree with everything that you shared. I hope you have a wonderful holiday this year. Thank you so much for stopping by.

Sharyn


Shanti Perez profile image

Shanti Perez 3 years ago from Spokane, Washington, U.S.A.

Hello Sharyn, I particularly like that you included all forms of grief and did not limit the article to recent loss. For some of us it takes years to grieve, or sometimes the loss seems amplified even years later when other types of loss have manifested around the holidays. Thank you so much. This helps my perspective immensely.

Shanti


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 3 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Shanti ~ Yes, loss and grief is not just because someone has passed away. There are many other reasons for grief. I agree that even years later, certain losses might have manifested for many years and really affect you, especially around the holidays. I'm so glad this helped your perspective. I hope you have had a pleasant holiday season.

Sharyn


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 2 years ago from Southwest Missouri

Sharyn, this is so appropriate. I miss my mother, sister, and nephew all year long, but holidays are difficult.

Thanks for sharing. Votes and shared!


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 2 years ago from Planet Earth

Sharon, this is such a timely and sensitive hub. You're so right; the holidays are difficult on many levels, and grief is a big one. Thanks for being such a great Hubber!


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

Sharon - I want to thank you with all my heart for writing this. Yes, I am one who grieves for the loss of a son and it's very hard at this time of year.

You've given me permission to feel sad. No one has done that before now. I don't want to interfere with the happiness of Christmas for others, so I grieve alone - Smiling on the outside and crying on the inside.

Thank you dear Sharon, blessed friend, for sharing your kind ideas with all who need to hear this.

You truly are a treasure - May all your Christmas wishes come true ~ Love, Audrey


NornsMercy profile image

NornsMercy 2 years ago from Charlotte, NC

What a useful and awesome hub. My husband has lost a parent and I haven't (thank goodness), so it's a bit hard to understand what it's like. I sort of just...shut down when he talks about it. Now I have a better understanding of what he's thinking and things I can do. Thanks! :)


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 2 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Susan ~ the holidays can be especially difficult when we are missing a loved one. Thank you so much for your feedback. I hope your Christmas is filled with tons of happy memories and the opportunities to also make new ones. Love you,

Sharyn


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 2 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Marcy ~ thank you for such a sweet comment. I hope you are having a pleasant holiday season!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 2 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hello Dear Audrey ~ I can't imagine the loss you must feel since your son passed away. Absolutely you have the right to feel however you feel. I could imagine how you would smile on the outside as to not interfere with others happiness and yet be extremely devastated on the inside. I hope you find some comfort with loved ones who are with you this holiday season. And you know your son is with you in his own way too. Take care of yourself and thank you for such a thoughtful comment.


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 2 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi NornsMercy ~ I am so glad this article helped you understand better what your husband may be going through. Wishing you and your family a peaceful holiday.

Sharyn


Sharonglidden821@yahoo 23 months ago

I lost my mom last November. I was very close with my mom. It really was only her and I growing up. My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 5 years ago. She moved in with us for about 6 years. She fell a few times and eventually had to be put in a nursing home. Age developed pneumonia January 2013 and had to be put on a trach (she actually was not supposed to survive but she surprised us all and lived another 9 months in a ventilator dependent facility. She actually started to rebound but declined rather quickly. I'm making a very long story as short as I can. Anyway I am having a very hard time coping with her loss. I still cry like it just happened yesterday. I am so down. Does anyone have any similar experiences they can share with me? I am desperate for help....


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 23 months ago from Northeast Ohio USA Author

Hi Sharon,

I always say that there is nothing quite like losing our mother. It's been over 9 years now since my mother passed away unexpectedly. It is one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. At this point, I can say that it has gotten easier but I am now still grieving the loss of my father who died a year ago. Everyone copes with loss in their own way, their own time frame. So please never beat yourself up for crying thinking that you should be doing better. There is no right or wrong when it comes to grieving. If you'd like to chat by email, feel free to contact me any time at smitty368@sbcglobal.net

Hang in there and know that you are not alone. Best wishes,

Sharyn

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