On Being A Victim

Short Story on Living It

“One’s real life is so often the life that one does not lead.”

-Oscar Wilde

I can actually talk a very long time about this subject, since I lived it for such a long period of my life. Little did I realize when I was growing up that I could have been the poster child for the entire dysfunction known as “victimization.”

People who are victims in life are usually those who have low self-esteem, low self-worth, no plans for the future. In most cases, as children, they lacked the attention and affection and love that we all need from our parents. I had some attention and some affection given to me as a little girl but it was rare. Being the oldest of five kids left little time for my Mom to shower me with the attention I thought I needed.  I learned some children need more attention than others and I found out I was one of them.

 

Drowning in the Shallow End

This is how my life used to be but not anymore!
This is how my life used to be but not anymore!

THOUGHTS ON MY PAST DYSFUNCTION

 

RUN AWAY

People always run away from me,

Physical pictures of my past choices

Always running, trying to hide due to fear,

The “ultimate illusion.”

My past choices were dragged forward,

Conscious of how it serves me,

Angry that I cause this result,

Determined to release the fear,

Then using other “excuses” to not let go.

Excuses—“reasons with lies inside.”

And again, how does it serve me?

Keeps me in solitude and some perception of serenity,

Reading and learning how to “evolve”, yet not growing

As fast as I “should” be,

Then I remember—I am not supposed to “should”

All over myself!

-Lene’ Lynn

Comments 2 comments

saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

My childhood of abuse and being a victim and a target by an abuser in our household certainly did affect my self-esteem and self-worth, it took me meeting a father replacement figure who turned out to be my saving angel and change for directions in my young life.

I have climbed the ladders of success both in careers and self-esteem, it took some doing as the past haunted me for years. Your poem was poignant and riveting, it moved my soul.

Thank you for sharing, also I look forward to reading more of your hubs, thank you for being a new follower as I will follow you.


Lene Lynn profile image

Lene Lynn 5 years ago from Glendale, AZ Author

Saddlerider, thank you so much for your kind compliments! I am not sure if you realized that there was another poem below this comment box...it's called "Falsely Imprisoned." I am impressed that you have overcome so much in your life and have been successful...just remember, nobody can destroy your spirit because spirit is energy and energy can't be destroyed! Blessings and peace to you!

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    FALSELY IMPRISONED

    I’ve spent my life falsely imprisoned by shattered dreams,

    Misguided truths and false images of

    Who I thought I was supposed to be

    Based on everybody else’s expectations.

    Being falsely imprisoned in this way

    Leads to a total lack of self-worth and self-esteem.

    It causes emotional pain, mental anguish, a self-imposed

    Crushed soul.

    The greatest Truth we need to remember is

    How truly valuable and unique we are,

    How much strength we truly have,

    How many goals and dreams we can accomplish.

    Never again do we need to allow others

    To determine our worth or to crush our spirit.

    Power is only available to others if

    We give them permission to have power over us.

    Always remember – we teach people how to treat us.

    -Lene’ Lynn

    **No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.

    -Albert Einstein

    **We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.

    -Carlos Castaneda

     

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