Opiate Life - The 12 Stages Of Addiction (Part 2)
2. It's Just Who I Am!
Sooner or later, usually later, you realise that although you can still take it or leave it at any time, you really just don't want to leave it. You're not an addict , just like other people enjoy going for a beer, you enjoy the odd seductive hit. You justify it to yourself, it's doing you no harm, you aren't physically dependent (i.e you don't experience physical withdrawal symptoms when you don't have your fix) and it makes dealing with things so much easier.. you fix before going to the party and you're cool, relaxed, nothing bothers you, conversation with new people is easy because you're not anxious and you notice that you can talk to girls with ease and just chill.. Of course, compared to all the drunken fools you're that much more of an attractive proposition, which only adds to your justification that this really is the better choice of recreation compared to drinking where you throw up, act like an ass, fight people and make an idiot of yourself. Of course this is all early days, but you don't know that.
This whole situation can be compared to dating "one of those" chicks.. the one's your friends don't like and your mother refuses to have over for dinner, but the thing is, you realise that you'd be unhappy if she left and she's causing you no problems (right now) and the sex is great, so who cares?!
In essence, in the same way a lover becomes a partner, this lover becomes a part of your life, a part that you're that makes you very comfortable, and that you're very comfortable with, so you go ahead and make the worst decision of your life - you decide to keep her around.
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