Opinion Topic: Being Real, Being Honest, or Being a Straight up Jerk?

Honesty is always the best policy. However, it's important to be honest in a respectful way when necessary.


Being "real", and being honest.

There are so many people in today's society claiming how "real" they are. Most of these people who claim to be real, pride themselves on being brutally honest with others about how they feel. These are the type of people who do not hold their tongues about anything, and often have unfiltered language when it comes to their thoughts. In other words, there is no limit as to what someone who claims to be real will say. Being a real person coincides with being honest with others regarding how you feel. A lot of people claim to be honest, but the truth is that nearly everyone has lied at some point in our lives or another. This article is going to cover what I believe to be the difference between being a "real" person, an honest individual, and a straight up jerk. Again this is an opinion topic. I'm in no way claiming that I'm right on this topic.

Honest but respectful.

I had a conversation not too long ago with a good friend of mine regarding this topic. We're all aware that the truth can sometimes hurt and cut deep. Everyone needs that one person, or several individuals whether family or friends, that always shoots straight with us. In essence, having someone who tells us what we need to hear instead of what we want to hear, brings an added sense of balance to our lives. However, I feel that a lot of people confuse being "real" for being a straight up mean towards others. There is something that I've noticed with a lot of people who don't hold back what they feel towards others. A lot of these people appear to intentionally hurt other's with their words. I'm sure that not everyone does it intentionally, but it appears that being mean towards others give them a good feeling in a strange way. I know others may feel differently, but words can sometimes hurt us as just as much as a punch. Physical pain often heals quicker than being emotionally hurt. It almost appears that some of these people get a rush from hurting others. That's not being a real person in my opinion. That boils down to be a straight up jerk towards others, and people who do this obviously have a lot of insecurities. Otherwise, there would be no reason for them to be this way towards others.

Examples of being honest, and being brutally honest.

I'm a firm believer that you get out of this world what you put into it. If you're constantly being rude and trying to make others feel bad, you shouldn't expect a lot of good things to happen for you. There are always methods to implement in order to be both honest and respectful towards others at the same time. The biggest example of this are our parents. They're honest with us on most things, and they always tell us what we need to hear. However, we know that they love us even when they say things we probably don't want to hear. Those are the kind of friends and family members we need in our lives. People who say things to intentionally hurt you should be deleted from your life. There are already enough negative forces working against us in today's society, so we can do without the people close to us that contribute to it. An example of being brutally honest with someone, could be dealing with someone that is overweight. Encouraging them to become healthier is a respectful way of being honest with them. Calling them names such as; fat, chubby, etc is an example of being a jerk. It very well may be the truth, but calling them names isn't going to help the situation any.

Do you feel there is a difference between being honest, and being brutally honest?

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Final thoughts.

If you're content with being brutally honest towards others, that's perfectly okay. Everyone is their own individual, so no one can tell you how to act. However, if going to be brutally honest towards others, be prepared to deal with the potential consequences. No matter how tough or mean you claim to be, there is always someone out there who can check you. The idea is to keep your real friends around, not to push them away. If you don't watch the way you approach others and present your thoughts, you may find yourself losing good people from your life. I classify myself as a fairly honest person. Whenever a family member or friend has wanted to talk to me regarding an issue, I always tell them how I honestly feel about it. However, I do it in a way that allows the relationship to stay in tact. Those are the kind of people I want around me. I'm not in the business of intentionally hurting people. I want to keep the people I care about close to me. Being a real friend and respecting them is the key. Just my thoughts. What do you think about this topic? Do you feel there is a fine line between being real and being honest? Would love to see your feedback on this topic. Thanks for reading.

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lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Excellent hub Brad. Voted up!

Being a real friend and respecting them is the key. This is the most important message from your article. Regardless of what society says, I stand by the principles of integrity even if it means standing alone. Being real and being honest for me is the same thing. Whether it's a family member, friend or partner, if someone asks you for advice or for your opinion and you value that person and friendship, you are going to be true to them. If they get upset because you told them that they would look better if they shed some pounds, then perhaps you should think twice about giving them any advice. Some people don't want to hear the truth. Let me give you an example that I'm sure you are familiar with. Babe, how do I look in these jeans? you look fine honey.. Are you sure babe? you don't think I look fat? no, they look perfect on you. the girl keeps checking her butt in the mirror. The guy is just dying for her to hurry up so they can leave. But are you sure babe that I don't look too fat in these jeans? Well, actually now that you think about it, you would look a lot better if you lost 5 lbs. Do you see what I mean? now the girl is upset, freaking out that she is fat when all the guy did was answer her question.

People enjoy being mean and inflicting pain on others. I can relate to this so much. This has been a constant battle for me since I was in elementary school. I have also encountered a lot of this in the online writing world. The funny part about this is that I am nice and respectful to others. I have realized that you can not control other people, but what you can control is your reaction to their behavior. There are too many fake people in this world who say one thing and do another one. If you are not careful, you can easily fall into their drama. When you are nice, respectful and polite to others, it rubs people off the wrong way. You are automatically labeled as strange, weird or different. This is actually a good thing because it means that they are jealous of you. The best way to deal with these people is not to deal with them at all. Keep them at a distance. Be who you are and say what you do because those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter. Always be yourself and stand by your principles. Don't let anyone define you.

Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

I was always taught to treat others the way you would like to be treated. I am also a very honest person by nature and do agree that there is a huge difference between being honest and being brutally honest. I can't help but be an honest person, but could never be brutally honest, because it is not the way I was raised nor is that truly my nature. Totally interesting hub and have voted up and shared.

Karen Hellier profile image

Karen Hellier 4 years ago from Georgia

Good topic for a hub...very original. I definitely think there's a difference between being honest and brutally honest. I have always tried to be honest with friends and family members, but sometimes you have to soften the blow. My daughter on the other hand is brutally honest and doesn't see that she can hurt people that way. Oh well, she's still a teen so hopefully she will learn soon. I should have her read your hub!

eHealer profile image

eHealer 4 years ago from Las Vegas

Great Hub Brad,there is a big difference between honest and just evil. Mama always said, if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all. Thanks, Voted up.

Arren123 profile image

Arren123 4 years ago from UK

Super Hub Brad, voted up and interesting. I too am a firm believer that you get out of this world what you put into it. Being brutally honest can hurt, but being honest in a kinder way is better I think it's how you put it and not being up front in someone face. Okay there are times when you have to be. :)

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 4 years ago from Texas Author

Hey there Doc. Thanks a lot for taking out the time to read this particular hub. It's great to know that you stick to your principals at all times. I also agree with that you that some people don't want to hear the truth. I just feel it's important to be honest with people, but do it in a manner where they know that you genuinely care about them, and it's not malicious.

I understand what you mean wit the example you gave. One of the best quotes I've heard regarding this subject is "If you don't like no for an answer, then you're asking the wrong questions". I know that you've had some bad break regarding people on these writing sites, but you have the right idea of continuing to be nice and be yourself. Like you said keeping them at a distance is the best option. I choose not to deal with people like that period. That's probably why my life is pretty much drama free. Thanks a lot for your detailed response and feedback. It's great appreciate.

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 4 years ago from Texas Author

Hello Janine. Thanks for your response, and for checking out this hub. You touch on something that I think is very key, which is treating others how we want to be treated. I feel that this is something that society in general has forgotten about totally. The "dog eat dog" mentality has caused a lot of people to forget that they could be in the same situation as anyone else, so it's important to do unto others as you would want them to do towards you. I'm glad that you can relate to what I'm saying. Thank you so much for your great feedback, and for sharing it. Best wishes to you :)

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 4 years ago from Texas Author

Hey there Karen. Thanks for the kind words. I try to be original as possible with some of my writings. I'm happy that you noticed :) I'm glad that you can relate to what I mean as well. There's nothing wrong with "softening the blow" as you said when it comes to dealing with close friends and family. The idea is to let people know that you will always be honest with them, but doing it in a caring and compassionate manner. Your daughter is still in that young rebellious age, so she will most likely learn as she gets older. That's a kind of thought of you about her reading this. That would be great if she did. Thanks again Karen for your feedback, and your continued support :)

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 4 years ago from Texas Author

Hey there eHealer. Thanks for your feedback. You mentioned a word in your reply that I don't believe I mentioned in my hub, which is "evil". That's what it boils down to with a lot of people who claim to be "real". Some of them are just hateful and evil, and they don't care what they say or who they say it to. Your mom has it right, and I think the world would be a lot better off if people followed that advice of not saying anything at all if you don't have nothing nice to say. Thanks again for reading, and for your reply :)

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 4 years ago from Texas Author

Thank so so very much Kev. I personally just feel like there is a balance needed when it comes to being honest with people. We have to learn how to be firm and strong in our words, but also respectful and compassionate. This is something that many people struggle with. Thanks for you excellent feedback good sir.

Xakousti 4 years ago

So So True! Great Writing! you know what i have noticed now that I'm older? (LOL) that those years ago who are rude, with the intention to hurt others, are now the same miserable people. And life has proved it to them. Those who were kinder with their words, now enjoy a better life. Its the old saying..what goes around, comes around. I would never hurt a good friends feelings, even when they want my opinion, but will be honest in a fun way, not to hurt anyone's feelings.

Yes there is a difference is honest and brutally honest. The key is respect. Thanks for such an interesting topic!

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lovedoctor926 4 years ago

Hi Brad,

I noticed this article on my feed and I came back to revisit. The title caught my attention. There is a lot of truth here and much food for thought. You just reminded me of this one quote that goes like this. we ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us and love those who hurt us. I wonder if there's a masochist streak in some of us.

voting up!

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 4 years ago from Texas Author

Hey Doc, sorry for just now responding back. I appreciate you giving it another read. I've also heard that quote that you mentioned before as well, and it's definitely the truth. Good to hear from you, and thanks for the vote up :)

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 4 years ago from Texas Author

Hey there my Twitter buddy X! I really appreciate your words and comments on this article. I think you hit the nail spot on in mentioning how rude and mean people are the same ones that are miserable now. I know that a lot of people don't believe in karma, but I believe that we get what we put out in this world. Like you mentioned, respect is the key to dealing with people when telling them what we feel. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the amazing comment :)

Abbasangel profile image

Abbasangel 4 years ago from Australia - The land down under

I definitely believe there is a different between telling somebody the truth in a manner which can help them to see options and positive path, and a way to do it in a manner which is down right rude and quite frankly bullying. Everybody has an opinion and not all them are true for the subject of the opinion so it is best to be kind with our words. Great thoughtful hub! Enjoyed the read.

LisaMarie724 profile image

LisaMarie724 4 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

I agree with you 100 %. My sister and I were just having this conversation the other day about how we feel that people use "being real" as an excuse just to be rude to people. I believe in being honest but there is a huge difference in telling someone something that they probably don't want to hear out of love and "being honest/real just because you are a mean person. Great hub on a topic that many of us think about but no one has actually written about, until now!

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 3 years ago from Texas Author

@Abbasangel, Hi there and thanks for the feedback. Like you, I believe there is a definite difference between the two. I think it's all about picking the right time and words when dealing with people. Nobody likes getting their feelings hurt, and words can be quite painful. Glad you enjoyed the read, and thanks again. I appreciate it a lot!

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 3 years ago from Texas Author

@LisaMarie724, Hey there again friend. Glad to know we're on the same page when it comes to this topic. The conversation that you and your sister had is absolutely true, and like you both I feel that a lot of people claim to be 'real' as a way to hurt others. Not cool at all in my opinion. Unfortunately some people are just mean, and have troubled souls. Thanks a lot for the feedback. It's much appreciated!

My Moments profile image

My Moments 3 years ago

I always cringe when I hear someone say, I am going to be brutally honest with you, because it is code, for I am going to be brutally mean. I tend to just reply with, "Ummm, no you aren't."

Nice hub.

prospectboy profile image

prospectboy 3 years ago from Texas Author

@My Moments, Thanks again for taking out the time to check this hub out. I can relate exactly to what you're talking about. People who claim to be brutally honest are just mean people, who have troubled souls in my opinion. They tend to not be happy in life either. So sad for them. Thanks again :)

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