Owning our Faults, Without Shame or Blame

He's no Angel
He's no Angel

The Human Being is a vastly COMPLEX animal

No doubt it's extremely annoying when someone makes the less-than-earth-shattering-statement, "Well, you know, we're only human." What the hell does that mean? Surely we're not surprised...."What??!! We're all mere humans beings?!" I hope no one makes this announcement believing it's some profound unknown fact. OK, I know it's just a saying that really means, Let's face it, not a single one of us is perfect. That's the reality and who can argue?

Truth is, off the wall statements such as that one, are just short cuts. One of those simple phrases we hope will express an entire thought process or explain an entire concept. Rather than get into long drawn-out, wordy explanations, in an effort to make a point, we use these concise quotes. In the process, we're fairly sure that those we're communicating with will understand our intent. This is the fact of the matter and an acceptable one at that.

Can we take just a moment here to think back to a time we were still taking those baby steps toward adulthood? Young, trusting, curious and a bit naïve, we were. The maturing process can be long and riddled with trial and error, depending upon each individual personality and their ability to learn and retain information. With the generous assistance of those older and wiser, a few trip and fall experiences, complete with rebound, some time, effort and focus, we finally arrive. We become full-grown intelligent and intuitive adults, responsible and sensible.

THINK..about this.
THINK..about this.

Not so fast......let's slow down, shall we?

It appears we can all agree that the human being never stops learning. At the very least, we need to hope this is the case. Therefore, our minds continue to expand and our collections of events and experiences take root and flourish. We do not stand still and for all intents and purpose, we become better, wiser, stronger and thus, more productive. It's really a magnificent process and a never-ending one. Alas, Human beings are a fascinating, outrageously complex lot. We belong to the exclusive group of rational beings, capable of reason and continual improvement and advancement. We are living, breathing, self-sustaining, feeling, educable, capable, carnal, vulnerable beings called people.

What we are not and can never be is, perfect. That which is without a single flaw, defect, vice, fault and/or less-than-acceptable trait. Despite whatever we may wish, hope or strive for....perfection is not humanly attainable. It just ain't happening my friend. We're clear on this, yes?

And that's the TRUTH
And that's the TRUTH

With this admission of imperfection, we move on

The reality that we are not perfect nor can we ever be, doesn't seem to make a firm enough impression on some. These individuals hear this, know that it's a blatant fact, attribute imperfection to others, but somehow they find justification to exclude themselves. Despite how ludicrous it is, there are people who appear to think they are as close to P E R F E C T as can be. And I suppose every now and then in particular circumstances, we're allowed to feel that way. Too much of it too often and I'm afraid no one would listen.

This is not to say that we stand before crowds, screaming out, "Feast your eyes upon me, for I am Perfection!" They may not even inadvertently suggest they are the epitome of perfection. Fortunately, these folks are few and far between but we can spot them fairly quickly.

We've all known at least one self-perceived perfect person at some point in our life and travels. Basically, the most obvious tell-tale sign for recognizing these men and women is their unwillingness to accept responsibility for their own actions. They have an overabundance of reluctance to step forward and admit they screwed up. They do not recognize a single fault within their character, much less should they agree to entertain the possibility. Having said this, we will not point fingers nor cast stones. It is much more helpful and productive to understand these individuals in an effort to deal fairly with them and perhaps lead them toward the light.

Don't consider the Narcissist

Now is just as appropriate a time as any to mention something of importance about a certain group of people. The Narcissist. Forget them. We should all be aware that based on who they are, they are never wrong, make no mistakes and nothing of any negative result could possibly be their fault. These creatures live in a world all their own. We shall let them be.

a few words on the Narcissist

Who are these Perfection frauds?

We shall know them by their actions and their words. Often, we can recognize these characters by what they do not say and do, as in owning up to being the guy who screwed up the entire work project by remaining behind schedule. His story is quite different from the rest of the crew. He'll be happy to tell you of his many hours of labor and the creative ideas he brought to the table. Perhaps he'll even take full credit for keeping everyone motivated and producing at top level.

The reasons for all of this of course are that he's the guy with the brains and talent, always on the ball. For Mr. Wonderful, mistakes are not an option. He's very clever and convincing too. Sadly, his co-workers aren't impressed.....but they are disgusted. Here's a guy who will sacrifice respect and admiration for being perfect. He cannot and will not admit to having possibly been wrong, mistaken or a bit inadequate.

As you read, you have someone like this in mind, do you not? Your neighbor, mother-in-law, friend, foe.....whoever it is, they fit the description. Not very nice or comfortable people to be around, are they? They're probably successful as most perfection-driven people are. They drive nice cars and live quite well and dress impeccably all the time. The perfect image is an integral part of the game.

A curious issue with the self-described man or woman without flaws is that the very things they hope to achieve... respect, admiration, friends, are what they seem to lack. Don't bother to suggest this void to them for they'll quickly explain they're the innocent victims of envy and jealousy. Well, of course they are. Everyone wants to be them.

Let's think about the first time you met someone and your first impression of him or her. It's probable you were quite taken by their confident aura, their ability to speak well and their seemingly vast stash of knowledge. In the 30 minutes you spent in his/her presence, you were provided with a panoramic view of his lucrative career, lovely, talented wife and honor student children. He may have managed to sneak in a comment or two about his recent promotion, pay raise, vacation in Denmark and how he single-handedly landed a billion dollar account for his company. All this, because you must realize, he is the perfect man.

So, schmuck, what do you say to this guy? How does an average guy with a long list of mishaps and do-overs carry on an interesting conversation with him? What exactly will you share with him, man to man? How on earth can you relate to him, or he to you? You can't wait to get your sorry butt as far away from Mr. Wonderful as possible....before he reads your mind, which you begin to believe he can do.

This is as good a time as any to get real. We'll leave this guy with the person he admires most, himself. Let's take a serious in-depth look at the situation. What truly speaks well of someone and draws us to want to know them better? Surely it's not that he'll lie and fabricate, say and do whatever necessary to hide his flaws, to cover for inadequacies. Insults to our awareness and intelligence can leave a bad taste right out of the gate.

Give me the stand up, down-to-earth, authentic man or woman who faces the facts of who they are and who they are not. We want to work with the guy who will admit his expertise as well as his ability to fess up when he's made a typical oversight and is willing to clean up his mess. We'll freely respect and appreciate the person who can share a story with us about how he had to struggle through a crisis and ask for assistance because he just didn't have all the answers.
These are the human beings, imperfect by nature, who own their personal shortcomings.
The ones who admit when they're wrong, apologize when they've hurt someone and assume ownership of their own words and deeds. For these real people there's no need to look around for someone to blame. They don't make excuses or desperately attempt to save face at the expense of another......What it appears to be is what it is. I made a mistake, I'm imperfect. Can you imagine that?

There simply is no shame nor guilt involved. Quite the contrary. We applaud the honest individual who accepts responsibility and seeks to correct a problem. These are the heroes we recognize, the people we sincerely look up to. We can discuss with them and share our own woes with them and they'll understand. They do not judge, for in doing so, they judge themselves. We're all in this game as a team. Some learn quicker than others and can out-run, out-play their team members but we all make our effort and our contributions. The imperfect human can love freely and unconditionally, empathize, support and forgive his fellow man...and know he'll receive the same.

There's something very comforting about being imperfect. Much more than this, there's a beautiful freedom that comes with owning our faults without shame or guilt. Shame and guilt do not belong here. Not for a moment.

Being proud of who we are is a better place to be than always being right. Knowing we have given our all, straight from the heart and have few regrets will always be more of a comfort, than leaving hurt feelings behind on our way to the top. What do you say? Do you sincerely feel that who you are and what you have accomplished is enough just the way it is......although far from perfect? My hope for you is that you DO believe this and you've given yourself permission to look back and be grateful for it all.....the victories and the losses.

In the end, what is truly important is that we mattered in the lives of our loved ones.

9 Minute Lesson

I may not be perfect, but I'm cuddly
I may not be perfect, but I'm cuddly

More by this Author


Comments 72 comments

Gordon Rupe 2 years ago

I have my uses...LOL


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Precisely, Gordon! By gosh....you're right!.........Thanks for stopping by. You just made me read this OLD hub and realize it's time to edit numerous FLAWS!................


Gordon Rupe 2 years ago

There is no shame in my game...I not only admit to when I am wrong, but, from time to time look forward to it....

I believe this: I will brag when I am right, but, I will also be the first to admit being wrong...You have so many people who are more than happy to boast about being right, but when it comes to admitting fault they are the last to talk about it....

You have to take the good with the bad...Not to mention I think it makes you a stronger person.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thank you, swilliams..I'm happy to hear from you. Hope to see you again!..


swilliams profile image

swilliams 2 years ago from Arizona

Great information fpherj48! This is a very useful article which displays encouragement as well! Great Job Voted useful!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

G.M. Looks like we agree! Bravo to the honest, mature people......and even to the ones who are at least struggling to get there!! Peace.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

All of us have flaws and weaknesses. That is what makes us human. We are on this earth to learn important lessons about ourselves and evolve from there. In order to evolve as humans, we have to admit our flaws and faults. We also have to take responsibility for our faults. Doing such is the barometer of the mature person.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Hi jmartin....So glad you came for a visit. Your comment packs a wallop!

It's obvious your effort to improve team dynamics, is headed for success!


jmartin1344 profile image

jmartin1344 3 years ago from Royal Oak, Michigan

I enjoyed reading this hub fpherj48! I was scrolling through your hubs and this one caught my eye because I have been working to improve team dynamics at work and attempting to get team members to embrace differences in behavioral traits and things like that. We talk all the time about the fact that nobody is perfect and that everyone has a different disposition.

I think what's interesting is that there are things that could legitimately be described as flaws, while some are just differences in personality/disposition which are mistaken for flaws! Seems like the key is to tell the difference, and work to improve the ones which are flaws and embrace the ones which aren't! Plus, in professional settings a 'flaw' is relative to the goal you're trying to accomplish.

It's a really interesting topic! Thanks for the great hub!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Well, Ed.....My lips are sealed. They're sealed because my son duct taped them shut today, when I told him that my wish for him is that one day, he'll be as perfect as his mother.

Thanks for visiting.......I appreciate your comments!....imperfect as they are...................................................LMAO


ahorseback profile image

ahorseback 3 years ago

Paula is it ? , Now this is so sad , I was just starting to think YOU were perfect , Oh my , what do I do know I luv another imperfect hubber ! No seriously my dear lady , this is perfect ....well awesome ! Hows that ! Of course I voted it all up , even funny ! Cuz I 'll bet you are !.......ed


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Amen, pinto.....How tiring it must become to appear the definition of perfection. It tires me, just thinking about it. LOL


pinto2011 profile image

pinto2011 3 years ago from New Delhi, India

Hi fpherj! You have written an eye opener and thought provoking article. Ones we start admitting our mistake, it makes us more socially responsible, more human, and a good person on this mother earth.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

jainismus and

DDE

Thank you for visiting my hub and for your wise and thoughtful comments. Acceptance and courage does cause "happiness."


DDE profile image

DDE 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Blaming others for your faults is ridiculous, people who behave in such ways remain with guilt and won't be happy people either.


jainismus profile image

jainismus 3 years ago from Pune, India

Admitting our faults makes us happy......

Great Hub, thank you for sharing your thoughts.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Because people like to play "Genius." They will rattle on and on, for appearance sake....not knowing what the hell they're talking about.....and wind up proving themselves, bigger jerks than if they had just said...."I don't know about that sort of thing!!" That's why they would NOT admit it!!

Hey, I was wrong when I said I was mistaken!!! LOL.......Thanks for stopping by! TONY!


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 3 years ago from SE MA

Interesting contrast between this and that other hub we recently interacted on.. they are both really about the same subject, but approaching it from entirely different directions.

I've had a few customers express astonishment when I told them I don't have a clue about a certain subject or was wrong when I told them X about Y. "How can you admit that?", they ask. I ask in turn "Why would you NOT admit it?"


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

tammy....LOL...Just between you and me......Doesn't everything start in childhood? Keeping with the theme here, I can recall my mother telling a little 6 year-old she was a "mouthy little piss pot." (The apple never falls far from the tree) Obviously, we all know now, that she was correct.

Likewise, if I think back to the "traits" of each of my sons, as little guys.....they were an excellent predictor of their adult personalities!

Thank so much for the feed back!


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 3 years ago from North Carolina

Very unique and interesting hub. I wonder if this trait starts in childhood and we should encourage our children to not be so defensive but be honest with themselves and others to admit they aren't perfect. It is a sign of a highly evolved individual to be able to first admit it to your self and second to others. I think it is one of our hardest and most humbling human endeavors. Great, great read!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Ah-HA!! Honey....It appears I may rest my case! LOL


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Til.....

You are a very busy lady.....and entitled to move about at your convenience. I', always glad to see you, no matter when you stop by. I appreciate your comments. When a writer of your incredible talent, approves of my work, I can't ask for more....

Here's to a wonderful Holiday Season!


HoneyBB profile image

HoneyBB 3 years ago from Illinois

Hahaha...I just saw your response to me and teaches...lol...if I were perfect I would have been right on that as soon as you wrote it....lol!


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

Oops, my imperfection is showing...it took me 11 days to get here!! So sorry.

This is truly a self-reflection piece for the many well intended and perfect people of the world ....um hm, that's what they think anyway!

"I made a mistake, I'm imperfect. Can you imagine that?" What a great mantra! We could adopt this as a national saying...fess up folks, it happens.

Those of us with common sense know darn well Joe Blow is not perfect, in spite of what he says and thinks! We are definitely "all the same in this game" and you've covered this so well with your style and humor! Way to go GF....You sure can call 'em!

Voted up, useful, awesome 'cause you say it so well, and interesting.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Hey Martie!....I'm sure we have worked with at least one of every type of individual that exists. This is just the way it is. In a work place of more than a handful of people, what we can expect to encounter, might be an incredible mixture of personalities. Some are much more difficult to deal with, so as to keep work relations at a professional level. Truthfully, I don't believe there are any more challenging than the self-proclaimed "Perfectionist-Know it All." Even the most clever and patient person, can find this an exasperating experience!!. I so appreciate your input of wisdom, Martie!


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 3 years ago from South Africa

Paula, you may not be perfect, but this is certainly the nearest to a perfect debate about people who don't take responsibility for their shortcomings and who will rather make fools of themselves before accepting any critique or the merest demonstration of disapproval. They just cannot admit via actions that they are not perfect and in fact total failures in specific fields. Of course, we will often hear them say, "I am only a human being." Oh, I've lived and worked with them my entire life and in my opinion they are totally past redemption. But just as hard to live and work with are those who are the complete opposite, always regarding themselves as 'useless' and always the course of failures.

Honestly, Paula, I enjoyed every sentence in this hub of yours. You've described them 'perfect' humans to a T.

Voted up and absolutely awesome!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

lovedr.......We've all worked with Miss and Mr. Perfect. Such FUN, huh?


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

ROFLMAO.........OMG, Terrye...I love you.

Of COURSE, darling, you caught me red-handed.....I want to be YOU.....I've always wanted to be TTOOMBS. I'm busted.

I knew you could not relate to this. In fact, I'm amazed and humbled you took the time to read it........I am forever grateful.

You are the PERFECT trip, girl!!..........


TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 3 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

A fantastic hub, Effer! I loved it...can't relate to it, but I loved it. ;)


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

"Thinking too much of what others think of you changes what you think of yourself." This is so true. I have worked with people who think they're perfect including bosses & it drives me nuts. They're probably the most insecure people too. People don't like to own up to their mistakes either. A very good hub.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Jan

Glimmer

Nell

Well, ladies...wait just a minute here! I am referring to all people EXCEPT for Hubbers!! LOL....I should have been much more specific, I see!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 3 years ago from England

I think I would die of shock if I was perfect! lol! I am so far from it it gets rediculous! see I can't even spell ridiculous, rediculous oh darn never mind! lol! great read as always paula, nell


Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 3 years ago

Amen - Drives me crazy when people think they are perfect, of course I know I am (just kidding). Seriously though, I have met many "perfect" people in my life and it usually those people who mess up the most. Up and awesome. Thanks for a good read.


Janhorner 3 years ago

Very interesting hub which has generated many differing comments. Me I'm me and I put my hand up and say I'm far from perfect...but I learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat history! Voted up,

Jan


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Oh, Vee.......You're just a little confused. I'm perfectly crazy....maybe that's what you heard.......It's close.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Jeannie...You too? What a coincidence, I was a 16 yr.old genius too! Apparently my memory weakened with time..........


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 3 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Don't burst my bubble. Effer! I thought you were one of the perfect ones, albeit the humble perfect ones! :-) Gosh, you speak the truth. You always do!! :-)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

This hub is oh so true. It also reminding me of how wrong I was when I was a child. I foolishly thought once I was an adult I would be filled with so much knowledge and have all the answers. Wrong! It is a shame I can't be a teenager again... apparently I really knew it all at that time in my life. Haha. :-) Voted up and interesting!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

"getting older," has a natural way of bringing us E A S E in living each new day, with peace and truth...


alocsin profile image

alocsin 3 years ago from Orange County, CA

It's become a lot easier for me to own up to my faults as I've gotten older, which also makes me more accepting of the faults of others (except for bad customer service around xmas LOL). Voting this Up and Interesting.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

teaches ...and

Honey

So nice to see both of you...I am always glad to see you and read your interesting and generous comments..... I would say that you're perfect....but ...not now!...LOL


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

btrbel....Yes, you may say, "NEAR-perfect."...LOL


HoneyBB profile image

HoneyBB 3 years ago from Illinois

Loved this one! Especially the part where you're waiting for Mr. Wonderful to shut up for a brief second so you can make a mad dash outta there. Voted+++++


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

I am far from perfect and don't know if I'll ever get to the state of mind an life. I guess life would be a little less interesting if it were perfect. I think some people like to think they are perfect and spend too much time alone as a result. Great post.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

LOL......Brave....I'm with you! I find it entertaining to listen to "Los Perfectos," go on and on about all their wondrous attributes and accomplishments......as I try not to look smug or laugh out loud. It's rather difficult for me to not speak up and say, "Wow, and to think I didn't even ask for your resume!!"


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 3 years ago from Central Florida

Hear, hear Paula! What you say is so true. Those who tell their life stories in the first 30 minutes of meeting them are full of themselves and are actually very insecure! But we won't tell them. Let them go on believing they are perfect in their little world of me, myself and I!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Pam....Thanks so much for your comment. Just because we are all imperfect, does not mean that every once in a while, we can do something that's a perfect piece of art! Right? And of course, as all Grandmothers know....Grandchildren ARE perfect.....at least until age 12! LOL


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 3 years ago from United States

Interesting hub about those who think they are perfect and don't admit faults. Fortunately I don't run into to many people like that but when you do it is annoying. We all make mistakes and an apology goes a long way. I like your examples and the hub. Voted up.


btrbell profile image

btrbell 3 years ago from Mesa, AZ

This was a great hub, Paula! May I say, nearly perfect!? There is so much good advice and great examples packed in here! Thank you for sharing!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 3 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

alastar &

Leslie

So nice of you to stop by and admit to being imperfect! lol....I keep expecting someone to comment that I am mistaken by thinking that no one is perfect....because they ARE definitely a perfect individual in every way....But that's not the way it works, anyway.

The perfection frauds never really come right out and SAY they're perfect. I think they expect everyone around them to recognize that they are.

That's the curious part. Who has that much time and energy and tricks up their sleeve to put on the PERFECT act? Wears me out, just thinking about it. So nice to hear your thoughtful comments!


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

why is it that i LOVE being wrong or having to say 'i'm sorry'?(assuming i'm not being beat over the head with it...of course..)

to me - being wrong means i've learned something - and that's what it's all about - this journey of ours...

i love your optimism that 'we' - as humans - ALL mature into adulthood at some time...i can't say as i share your generosity on this point...lol..

But..it's the holiday season - i'm feeling inspired..(lol)..

we see those 'perfection frauds'(great term) every day - good examples would be tiger woods, oj simpson, a bunch of good ole boys from penn state, pedophilific priests, the boy scouts of america....ummmm....need i go on? sigh...

bottom line is - if it looks too good to be true - it usually is - even in HUMAN form...

the higher the pedestal - the further the fall..

love your 'tude!

sharing forward..


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

When we make a mistake we should admit it and take responsibility. Your right Effer, we humans should be in constant mode of coming to terms with our strengths and faults, throughout our lives. Those that can't do this are stuck in arrested development and more often than not vocally insufferable for the rest of us. Even if someone knows a lot a bout things a little subtlety and discernment should be the watch words.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Hey, good lady....thanks for stopping by. You're right.....it is not easy to admit our flaws and mistakes....but can you imagine how difficult it must be to carry on the ruse of perfection 24/7? Ruchira, just between you and me.....If we claim to be "experts," at everything......we have to do all the work!!! LOL


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Awesome hub, Paula and inspiring too.

To man up to one's failures is not easy. Gotta slow down the ego burner n live life :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Pavlo

Irisheyes

julie

Vinaya..........

Hello and hugs to all of you wonderfully imperfect individuals! Via all comments, it's obvious we can all agree on these facts. This should tell us that we're happy people, at peace with who we are. It must be so difficult and tiring to attempt to appear "Perfect." I often wonder how these Self-Designed Super Stars find the energy to keep up the facade. I get tired just listening to them!! LOL.....Thank you all for stopping by.............


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Many people are not comfortable with accepting their own mistakes. They believe accepting mistakes publicly will make them weak. I believe, there is nothing to be ashamed about mistakes. We humans learn by making mistakes.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.


Jools99 profile image

Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

Paula, interesting and thought provoking hub - don't get me started on the medical profession after my poor mam's experience last week which left her in so much pain that I wanted to throttle the 'doctor' who drained her lung and left her in agony for 2 days. And I have worked with people like the ones you describe here and again, have had to hold myself back from wanting to bash them. My last job was full of these types, thank the Lord I left that place! I am not perfect - I quite like it :o)


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

It is rather ironic that I find this particular hub during this time. I know someone very close to me who never takes blame or responsibility for anything. It is an unpleasant characteristic of someone I love dearly. It hurts my heart to see this person who is my world carry such an unattractive trait. This same person recently caught our house on fire by putting hot fire embers in a cardboard box and leaving it on our front porch. Needless to say, I realized the situation before the rest of the house went up but not before the porch was destroyed. And yet....somehow it wasn't her fault. Priceless...


Pavlo Badovskyy profile image

Pavlo Badovskyy 4 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

One can actually not be perfect because we live in a non perfect world. If anyone thinks he is perfect, that means that self esteem of a person is too high. Great hub!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

What a beautiful way to start my busy day! Open my Hub site and see wonderful friends like......WESMAN-----MIDGET-----DRBJ-----CAROL----LINDA----LOUISA......

Thanks so much, everyone....for reading and commenting. Your visits and feedback means so much to me...

Cheers! and Best Wishes to you and yours during the coming Holiday Season. May your dreams come true!! Hugs....Paula


Louisa Rogers profile image

Louisa Rogers 4 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

Important post! Those folks who take ownership are rare and awesome. My rule for myself is that I give myself 30 seconds of defensiveness. This may be an excuse, but I think an immediate reaction of defensiveness to a perceived criticism may be built-in and biological. It's what happens AFTER the 30 seconds that's critical: do I say, "hey, I'm sorry. I screwed up," and try to fix whatever I did, or do I keep ducking, blaming, justifying etc.?


lrc7815 profile image

lrc7815 4 years ago from Central Virginia

Paula, this is awesome. Your attitude is shared by me, for sure. I took the easy way out a long time ago and realized how imperfect I am. It really is liberating. And those who still think they are, well, you said it best. All we have to do is watch and listen to know who they are. I think life takes care of most of them. You can't go through life thinking you're perfect without life throwing something in your path that wakes you up. It's all a matter of time. Great hub!


carol7777 profile image

carol7777 4 years ago from Arizona

I know those perfect people or better said are content with a life of selfishness. One friend ..well an acquaintance talks only about herself and family and has the gall to think we want to hear what her grandchild says everyday..well a little off the subject. I have many faults as we all do and I thankfully face up everyday. Being a caring and loving person and one who listens is my idea of a perfect person. Great hub with so many thoughts and ideas...Voting UP++++ and some serious sharing.


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

What an interesting take on the subject of human perfection, Paula. Folks would be much happier, in general, if they realized that perfection is unattainable. But excellence is not. Don't strive for perfection. Just do an excellent job. That's my motto. And yours, too, I suspect.


midget38 profile image

midget38 4 years ago from Singapore

Paula, thanks for the lovely reminder to accept ourselves as we are. We don't have to live by other's standards to be happy...in fact that is the very path to unhappiness. Thanks for the reminder that we should take pride in being ourselves!


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

Perfect....failure to take responsibility for screw ups....it was like you were talking about that fool sitting in the White House or something.

Nothing is ever HIS fault...just ask one of his fans!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Gardian Angel Holland....Thanks for the head's up.....good thing I didn't admit to being as perfect as I am! Boy, would my face be red!! Hey, if you believe I wrote this about you, go for it. I don't have the heart to burst bubbles.

Oh and btw.....you're not only imperfect, billy my man....you can't make up your darned mind.....let's make a decision . Are we strapping on balls or humility? Can't get more opposite than that, now can we?? I'm sufficiently confused.............LMAO!!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

lyn......Well, I know what you mean, but perfect people do not make mistakes...so it HAS to be someone else's fault. Get with the program, friend. LOL...Thanks for visiting!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Oh well....please gf....Medical professionals have an entire branch of the "perfection tree," all to their very own.....let's not get started on that topic! I'm sorry....I didn't mention that the there IS a one and only PERFECT person in this world......I really meant to. Must have slipped my mind....oops...well, we know it's not ME! LOL


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

A few medical professionals popped in my head as I was reading your hub. No way will I ever hear, ooops I made a mistake or "I'm sorry"...last week when I caught a tech who made a mistake I heard "we just can't get good help these days!" Huh, WTF? I seriously watch these professionals like a hawk. They walk on eggshells. Watch out for Sunshine! BTW, no such thing as perfect??? Thanks for letting me know that, I think! Haha! ;)


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Well no wonder you like me so much....I'm damn near the most imperfect person on HP! How nice of you to write a hub about me....oops, a little ego problem there, Bill....strap on some humility. Paula didn't write a hub about you....sigh! I hate these arguments that go on day and night, night and day, and my little brain just wants to go POOF!

Subheading....admission only has one d my friend. :)

Right on of course, and I certainly know a couple people who have never made a mistake...terrible bores at a party.


craiglyn profile image

craiglyn 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Bravo! As you said we all know "someone" like that. What I hate is the person who thinks he is so perfect, he blames everyone else for his failures!! Well done and very entertaining! Voted up!

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