Paving A New Road
The Road You're Walking...
“If you don't like
the road you're
Following Your Dreams
To follow your dreams is always easier said than done. Maybe you never seem to find the right time to give up what you are doing and start doing what you really like, something that makes your heart beat faster and something that makes you excited. Maybe you always make excuses to keep living the life you do even of you aren't satisfied. Maybe you have chosen the right way. Maybe you've had the courage to take a new road. Maybe you are already living your dream.
To Write For A Living, My Thoughts
To become a writer has not really been my dream. I've always loved writing, but only done it without anyone knowing about it. “Writing can't be a job.” That's something I just knew. When I learned what a pseudonym was, I had a dream to be an author with the pseudonym “Deborah McManaman” or something similar to that. Yes, it makes me smile now that I think of it. I deny having a dream, but a little part of me was dreaming. It was just a crazy dream of a little girl... I've never thought writing could be something I could do for a living, not until recently. Now I think it's possible. It would take courage, time and money that I don't think I have if I'd like to become a good writer and an author. I'm not even sure I'd like to give up my job to start writing more. I like my job on those days when it doesn't make me feel stressed, on those days when my children are happy to wake up at 6 a.m. in the morning and on those days when I feel I'm not exhausted when I get home after a work day. Those days my job is great. I'm helping old people in their homes. They are grateful and it gives me satisfaction. It's a satisfaction I don't think I could get from writing a book. Maybe I'm already living my dream. Maybe I shouldn't start paving another road. Maybe I'm happy with the road I'm on.
Options In Life
Some people know from the start what they want to do in life. One of my friends knew in her early teens that she wanted to be a pilot. She finished school with very good grades, went to the army, had an eye surgery and applied for a university that eventually would make her a pilot. Today I just ”see” her on Facebook. She's not a pilot, but she's working with aircrafts and travels all over the world. She knew from the start what her dream was.
What about all the others? I think I'm one of the persons, who never knew what they wanted to be. I never had a dream or a goal in life. If I actually had a dream of becoming an author, I never got the tools I could use. Nobody would have believed in my ability to become a writer, not even myself. I didn't even think I had that option. I come from a working class background. In our family we work in a factory to make a living. My parents didn't like the idea of me working on a concrete floor in a factory, though. I think they wanted me to study. My mother's dream was to become a teacher. She ended up working in a factory. My father quit school when he was 14 years old and started working in a factory. My parents moved from Finland to Sweden, got married and they both started working in a factory. He was 23 and she was 18. They had no other options.
Studies Do Not Always Lead To A Good Job
I was a pretty good writer already in my teens. I liked baking, too, and I actually applied for a school, where I could become a pastry chef. I didn't start that school. Instead I did like most of my friends did, and started a general upper secondary school to study only theoretical subjects for three years. After these years I didn't have a profession. I now had to apply for a university to become something. I needed to have a profession to be able to get a job.
I took one year off from my studies and moved to Switzerland to work as an au pair. I learned Swiss German and met many people and even made some friends. After one year in the beautiful country in the middle of Europe, I moved to Sweden to start studying what I thought I wanted to study. That was German, business and intercultural ethnology at a university south of Stockholm. Business and German was something that, I thought, would make it easier for me to get a job after my studies. I actually liked ethnology and German the most. After a couple of years of my studies, I realized that business was not what I wanted to work with. I liked the marketing part, but not the balance sheets, bookkeeping and things like that. I then continued my German studies and finished the first part of my ethnology studies. I quit studying business and began studying Swedish and layout instead. At this point I felt I did what I wanted to do and I was more serious about my studies. Here in the Nordic countries university studies are nearly free. We only pay for books and we only pay a very small amount of money every semester.
When I finally had my bachelor's degree it felt really good, but I didn't use my knowledge at all at my new work. Seven months before I graduated, I had gotten a job as a mail (wo)man. I applied for many jobs and that was what I got. During my four and a half year of studies at the university, I had different part time jobs to be able to pay for my rent. After my studies I was just happy to have a full time job. It didn't matter to me that I couldn't use what I had learned at the university.
My new full time job as a mail woman was nice. I made new friends, who I still meet every year. I learned about the working class in the suburbs of Stockholm. I enjoyed the many cultures in the ghetto where I lived. I could relate to some of these people. I didn't come from a rich background myself. I could not relate at all to some people in my neighborhood and where I worked. I loved it anyway, because I learned much and grew as a person. I learned to accept people for who they are.
Living My Dream
If you have read some of my other hubs, you know I had a child, moved back to Finland, had my second child, started working in a completely new area, and started studying once more. My whole life has been filled with studies, learning new things and meeting new people with different backgrounds. I have absolutely loved it. I've done things I've loved. Is this life I'm leading now my dream?
I'm yet not sure of what I want to do in my life. I'm a person, who is satisfied as long as I have a job to go to, as long as I'm surrounded by people I love and as long as I can keep writing and baking. I love nature and I live next to it. I also love big city life and I've lived next to that. I love writing and that's what I do. I feel satisfaction when I come home from work. I really don't need more than I have. I'm probably where I should be. Maybe this is my dream. Maybe I'm living my dream. What about you? Are you living your dream?
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