Self Esteem, Confidence and Self Worth

Self Esteem and Confidence

There is an old saying that goes: you are what you think. Regretfully, for some this is all too true and so are the consequences of these thoughts. Daily, many in our society constantly batter themselves with thoughts of somehow being unworthy and no good. They see themselves not as they truly are but as a set of ideas in their heads tell them they are. Their description of themselves as they perceive themselves in their minds, often have nothing to do with reality. Rather they tend to be the products of fear and a sense that they simply don’t measure up to a standard they, themselves, cannot define.

Some would say that they lack self esteem and confidence. But this tends to be a very shallow description compared to the hell they may truly feel. However, one thing we can be certain of is that day-to-day they suffer. Life for many of them is merely a ritual where they get up in the morning to come face to face with a disgusting figure they perceive as their true selves. Life holds no promise and every endeavor they deem rewarding is viewed as a fantasy that’ll never come true because to them, they are simply unworthy of having it. It is a very personal form of suffering which most try to hide in one way or another. They often fear that reaching out and speaking of their distress constitutes an intolerable danger not to be chanced. After all, someone might echo the criticism they carry in their heads of being weak and unworthy.

In many instances their intimate relationships can be problematic and plagued with turmoil. Because they feel terrible about themselves, they often mistakenly believe that their friends, lovers, etc. hold the same distorted opinions of them. This often leads to breakups and a deepening of feelings of worthlessness. The notion expressed often is: if he/she loved me, he/she would have never left. Their images of themselves are often highly distorted and have no legitimacy in reality. They batter themselves on a daily basis and why shouldn't they?

Regrettably, we live in a world that can be abusive to one and all. We live in a place where the worth of a human being is often measured by their ability to out do the other guy. If you’re able to earn more money than the guy up the street, society often rewards you by showering you with praise and other rewards. If you’re not that chip-off-the-old-block, capable of achieving excellence at every turn, societal praise is denied you and recognition for the beautiful person you may be is ignored. Thus, exist the reason why many of us find ourselves shocked and dismayed when we discover that one of societies designated heroes is not so much a hero, but a scoundrel instead. Like it or not, a person's ability to achieve over the other guy does not make him a good person to be showered with rewards.

Likewise, societal standards play a very heavy role in battering ones self esteem, confidence, and overall belief in self. The very essence of an individual is often placed in constant danger and subjected to abuse on a regular basis. If you are too fat, bald, don’t keep up with the latest styles, you are constantly told by media and other such outlets that you’re somehow less than a human being and certainly not worthy of praise. So pronounced is this viral social infection, that lovers and/or intimate partners try and make each other over to fit an image of what a person should be as proposed by society at large.Teenagers have been known to torture one another due to this same type of madness - the manner in which we judge whether an individual is worthy or not.

Very often one would hear a loved one say you’re too fat why don’t you loose weight? Or, you’re too quiet, why don’t you speak more? Individuality is attacked and along with it that which we call self esteem. Confidence in ones overall sense of self is battered. The total human being finds him or herself attacked simply for being human. Given these circumstances, it’s only logical to expect that damage will be done and show itself in a lack of self esteem, confidence, and self worth. We are not islands unto ourselves, but rather members of the human family dependent upon one another for love, affection, and overall survival.

In despair, a man cried out “Where is my God, why doesn't he help me?” only to discover that there were cries all over asking the same question. Where he thought he was alone in his plight and that only he was suffering, he was given a rude awakening. He discovered that there were a multitude of others making the same cry. For them, as with him, despair and depression characterized their pain and was the order of the day. A lack of esteem in themselves and the world about them was present and demanding expression. Such is the reality of our times.

A feeling that God had somehow made him totally helpless and in need of rescue surrounded him. A belief in himself that he had the means for getting rid of his problems had gone and fear of being consumed over not being worthy, dominated. He thought himself to be helpless and that’s what he became. In other words, we are pretty much what we think and believe. If for what ever reason, you believe yourself unworthy, that is what you will instantly become. Why? Because it is through your own eyes that you experience the world and the people in it. Somewhere it is said “act as if ye have faith and it will be given unto you." I will expand on this a little by saying believe in the worthwhile person you know yourself to be and he’ll stand forth to greet and follow you throughout life.

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