Self-Identity: What Defines You?

Can you describe the essence of the ocean rather than the definition of an ocean?
Can you describe the essence of the ocean rather than the definition of an ocean? | Source

I suppose it has been a long time coming - a lesson learned through the school of hard knocks, but somewhere along the way, one of the ultimate lessons in life has been learned. I cannot build my own self-identity around the roles I play in life. There's a lot to be said for learning that lesson, too. For one, there is less pain to be had when life changes things up in a big way. Another, it has saved me precious time trying to "find myself" after various setbacks and obstacles have arisen. You see, these things cannot change who I am. I am, was, and will always be me.

So, who am I? Well, I am many things. I am a wife, a daughter, a mother, a friend. I am also a freelance writer. The problem with these things, though, is that they may or may not be permanent representations of who I am. I have, after all, been in the past many other things as well - a student, a barista, a satellite TV installation assistant, a daycare teacher, and many more things. But, life happens. I may find myself suddenly single tomorrow, my children will grow up (perhaps to make me a grandma), and friendships may fade or abruptly end. I may not even be a freelance writer forever.

So, if not these things, what or who am I? I would like to think that I am many things. Just to name a few: honest, loyal, compassionate, and easy going. I know that I am probably more introverted than extroverted, but I would not say I am completely one or the other. I am a dreamer and when around certain people, I can be vivacious, gregarious, and playful. I can also be quiet and reserved, but none of these things really define who I am either. People are multifaceted, and there is no telling what kind of situation or person might bring out a different trait. Therefore, these things might only be a reflection of who I am to particular individuals. Perhaps these individuals might even have vastly different opinions as to who I am.

That's alright, too, because what I have learned is that your own sense of self must derive from something deeper. Once you figure out who you are in your core, you can better define your own self-worth - your own self-identity as it were. You see, all that really matters is how you see yourself. Only when you see yourself in the best possible light can others truly see you in that light. By no means does this mean you are perfect nor does it mean you are conceited; it means that you are able to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. It also means that you are able to shift with the tide when it turns.

Life keeps moving, ever changing as it does. It is wonderful when everything is calm, but when the storms hit, you must be ready to withstand the damage. Understanding yourself is the key to doing more than simply surviving the storms. Like trying to figure out what essence of the ocean means to you, you must find your own essence. Knowing in your heart and soul that the essence of your being is not in the nouns or adjectives that describe you will allow you to lead a happier, more fulfilled life no matter what the circumstances are at the moment. So, accept your essence and you will find yourself.


© 2013 Shannon

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Comments 94 comments

phoenix2327 profile image

phoenix2327 3 years ago from United Kingdom

Thought-provoking. I've always said that I am whoever I need to be in order to ensure I come out of a given situation alive. It makes pinpointing who I am difficult. Am I gentle, forceful, empathetic, unfeeling, lively, reserved? It turns out I'm all of these things. I guess my essence it that of a survivor.

And I think the essence of the ocean is calm, cleansing, a place of rebirth.


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Very good thoughts on this subject. I, myself have undergone 5 radical changes. Now I'm on an adventure in which I have little control.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

You've captured the essence of what it means to know oneself, at the core. I have more to comment, but wanted to let you know I applaud your really well-written, sure-footed writ.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I think I might agree with you about the essence of the ocean. It is something sometimes difficult to describe, yet people will do it without actually saying things like "Well, it has dolphins in it." In fact, physical descriptors are rarely used to describe it.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. Your visits and comments are much appreciated!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Hi, Mhatter99. Thank you for reading and for commenting. I would say that I've been through many changes myself, but it turns out that those experiences did not really change who I am. They maybe only caused me to re-evaluate who I am, but I was still me! You may have little control, but you are still you. :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Nellieanna, you know I always look forward to hearing your thoughts, especially since this hub was pretty much inspired by a couple of "conversations" we had. Glad you think I captured the essence of finding your essence. haha


shiningirisheyes profile image

shiningirisheyes 3 years ago from Upstate, New York

I hope I never stop changing and the many personal and natural environments help to mold who I am, who I have been and who I continue to become. Great article.


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

I love this, Shannon! It is thoughtful and honest and approachable in its wisdom. We are all so much more than the sum of our labels. I have learned that lesson when some of my labels got taken away and new ones were added....it caused a shift for me socially sometimes and made me question myself, but I was still "me". It does make you wonder who you are underneath.

One of my silliest examples is the length of my hair----most of my life, I had really long hair, and it's something people associate with me. But 3 times (last summer being one) I cut it short...and I feel so different, it's crazy!! I always decide to grow it back again. Silly, but there it is. I have a lot of empathy for people who lose their hair through chemo because it's something we take for granted until it's gone.

I really enjoyed reading this. :-)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Change is not always bad. It does always become a part of us. Lessons learned as we continue to experience new things.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Lurana, thank you for reading. I thought of you the other day when I came across an explanation of how to properly use "y'all" (haha).

If you stop to think about it - our labels change constantly. This is kind of a strange example, but just because you call a jar of pickled cucumbers pickles does not mean that they aren't still cucumbers. Haha- the ocean is a bit of a more pleasing metaphor, I think maybe. hehe

Anyway, I can relate to your hair story. My hair grows so quickly and has always been long and fairly thick. I've become a bit more willing to cut it in the past few years, though. I even let a friend try doing layers for the first time on my hair last fall. It turned out fairly well, but it took some getting used to. I almost regretted it - but not quite!


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

Shannon--so what did the explanation say? I'm sure you're right about it being a plural by definition ("all") so the other ways I've heard it probably weren't correct....but colloquialisms sometimes redefine themselves. Okay, now I'm hijacking this thread for our off-topic tangent...you can reply on FB and delete my comment if you want, LOL.

Sometimes I feel like a pickle, dreaming of my cucumber days. :-D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Nah, seeing as how I hijaked your thread when the discussion on "y'all" even started. . .hahaha....Besides, I haven't figured out how to delete, only hide comments.

Actually, I did post it on FB. It was an entire post about how to speak like a Texan, but here is the part I just mentioned:

"Y'all" is a must. Phrases such as "you guys" or "you all" only increase the amount of syllables in the sentence.

If you are going to write or type "y'all" either put the apostrophe in the correct place (after the y) or just leave it out. If you put the apostrophe in the wrong place, it doesn't make any sense, and you have done an injustice to a great word.

"Y'all" can be used to speak of one person as well as many, making the word alone both singular and plural. If the fact that it can be singular bothers you, you may want to skip ahead a little and read rule 15. "All y'all" is another plural form and it is made possessive, of course, by adding the "'s" to "y'all".

As for the pickle, you're still a cucumber! Haha....Pickles are usually sour, and you most certainly are not Plus, I like you, I'm not so sure I like pickles anymore. Just kidding, but I was happily eating a jar of sweet pickles a month or so ago, only to decide to read the label: best if used by May 2010. Can you imagine?! Needless to say, I was promptly through eating. LOL

Now, I've hijacked my own thread! Have a great day, Lurana!


MrsBrownsParlour profile image

MrsBrownsParlour 3 years ago from Chicagoland, Illinois

That's great! I missed that FB post (I'm really behind there) and I'm so glad you shared it here. I do love pickles too. I thought they had a very long shelf life...but then again, that might make it even scarier to wonder how old a pickle has to be to expire. :-P

You have a great day too. :-)


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

I would have to say I've found my identity through the 2 years plus now of writing and composing at Hubpages doing the best writing of my life and meeting such wonderful and talented people like yourself. And thank you so much for your support of my humble little hub because coming from someone special like you - really means a lot.

By the way, being from Texas, you must be familiar with three of my favorite singers/songwriters:

Billie Joe Shaver

Townes Van Zandt

Jimmie Dale Gilmore

let's add Joe Ely too.

Sending you my warmest wishes from Colin and his cats at lake erie time ontario canada 1:52pm


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

My, my, my, Epi - you've got this flattery thing down, dontcha?! LOL Thank you nonetheless. :) And thanks for sharing how you found your identity.

I am familiar with those singers, yes, and many other Texas musicians. I have a site that admittedly has been a bit neglected. I suppose I should work on that this week. But, anyway, it deals with country music, which includes many Texas artists. I did an interview with one Texas artist, Kelly Kenning, in which he explained to me how the song "She Beat the Cheat Out of Me" came to be. If you're interested, it is www.countrymusicnotes.net.


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 3 years ago from Asheville NC

Hi Shanmarie,

I enjoyed your hub as it resonated with much that I believe. It's great that you are writing from personal experience. What you have learned is important to those who have not yet gotten to class.

I particularly enjoyed these two phrases"

"I cannot build my own self identity around the roles I play in life." and "Knowing in your heart and soul that the essence of your being is not in the nouns or adjectives that describe you will allow you to lead a happier, more fulfilled life no matter what the circumstances are at the moment"

They are very powerful and more than useful to those who question their authenticity.

Voted Up!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Hi Born2care,

Thank you so much! Your comments are very much appreciated. I, too, find it a pleasure to read something someone else has written that also rings true to me.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

Darlin' - I think your premise lays out finding and capturing one's own Self Identity, one I highly praise and applaud which I've never seen better-put! I'd like to share it with my 16 year-old great-granddaughter who could really use its truth and clarity. So I think that's what you meant in your reply to my comment & not so much that I think that YOU captured the essence of finding MY essence. (I do know what you meant. ;-)

I'm a native Texan and I truly can barely abide y'all' or 'ya'll' (which I believe to be as 'correct' grammatically as 'y'all' since each is just a matter of one's implied emphasis and neither is in Webster's or Lynn Truss's, anyway!) - used to refer to only one person! It grates on me when people from other places assume that's how we use it, as if we're uneducated! ;-)

It's essentially plural, at the very least in effect. If used in speaking of someONE's situation, it would automatically imply or include ALL who share in that situation, not just one individual. For instance, one might speak to a member of a family to invite the entire family and say "Can y'all come to dinner Sunday?" One would not expect just that person to show up Sunday! If one is referring to just one person's with a broken leg, It would be absurd to say "I'm sorry y'all broke your leg!" Just plain 'you' is appropriate & sufficient - "Sorry you broke your leg" Not y'all's leg, either. haha. "Y'all's" is, indeed, the only way to add possessive case to the plural 'y'all'. It's a bit awkward and certainly doesn't try to somehow make 'y'all' singular without the added apostrophe 's' and doesn't make 'y'all' more plural, since it's already plural. In fact there are too many cases of people trying to make singular words plural by adding apostrophe 's' which is not its ended use.

Actually, do pickled foods really turn bad, - at least within chunks of one's lifetime? Vinegar used as the agent to pickle and preserve the usual things it pickles permeates those things to their core and serves as an acidic combatant to bacteria through and through them. If vinegar is just an added flavoring in a mixture of many other ingredients, such as in condiments,- ketchup, for example, its preservative capability is meager & can't be relied on, though. But pure vinegar as the major ingredient is one of nature's best preservatives, on permeable foods!

It was even used during the Great Plague to control the germs, in fact. (uh - - no, I wasn't around THEN - but I've read . . . :-)

By the way, sugar has some preservative capability, too. If you have fresh fruit about to 'turn', sugaring it down will keep it from further deterioration for awhile, if you can handle as much sugar as is needed to do that. The sugar mixes with the fruit juices to make a wonderfully easy sauce. Makes a great shortcake or ice cream topping!

I grew up eating things that simply had no printed expiration dates. No one even considered such a thing! Nothing had them until fairly recently. So - one wonders - were we all in mortal danger up till now? It began with easily spoiled meats, as I recall. The spoilage in meats can be especially dangerous, for one thing. Fresh produce still seldom has expiration dates; - probably because it's abundantly clear when they're starting to rot! Ugh. If used fresh, there is no masking that proof!

Knowing Mother, some of the canned goods we ate might have been manufactured (or home canned) around when I was!

I'm of the persuasion that these expiration dates on most everything, from dry chips preserved in salt to even toothpaste and external-use-only tinctures, forevermore! are so labeled for one or both of 2 reasons: 1) because the original handling during preparation nowadays is much less quality controlled, so is more questionable or 2) to assure more inventory turnover, sales and profits. And it works.

I know Mother must turn over in her grave whenever I throw out something that shows no signs of aging or spoilage just because the stamp on it says to, which I do, if there's any question at all in my mind. The psychology is so pervasive and masterful that one feels a bit embarrassed, lackadaisical or even scared to resist it!

Another issue I have with expiration dates is this: They admonish the retailer not to sell after that date. So: - what if one gets if from the shelf that day or even the day before and takes it home,- does it mean if it's not fully consumed immediately or by the next day, one is flirting with danger of life-threatening poisoning? The seller has been let off the hook, so to speak, but what about the poor buyer who had a right to assume it was OK if it's being offered for sale? I admit I pass over items with nearer expiration dates & search for those with the best, - most distant - expiration dates when I have a choice between a day or two to go or even a week or two from 'now' and a more practical month from now of peace of mind! So is that condemning perfectly good food to being wasted & destroyed by the retailer - or else left for buyers less aware of the risk of putting it into their shopping cart? Lots of people are too harried to stop to read the labels & dates.

Really. Both items - soon expiring or later expiring - are there to be purchased when I'm shopping! How is it that some are destined for the early demise? Have they been hanging around so much longer on the shelves or in the refrigerated bins -even in the frozen sections? Maybe. But, OK - maybe just because they were manufactured at different times. I see. Hm . . . . How is that calculated, one wonders. . . . I suppose the exact same products as the ones I can buy have been put through rigorous tests and a time-line for them has been established? (that would mean that the ones I can buy weren't fully tested when put on sale!) Does any of that quite sound like an expense one would expect the manufacturers to assume even if it were a guarantee of freshness? If the tests were done on other batches of the kind of product made or grown under different conditions, how would those results even relate to the ones I'm buying?

On the other hand, I've brought home things with plenty of time before their expiration date and found them to be - ugh - definitely not up to par, though one ought to be able to rely on that date if it has ANY validity!! Where were their tests in that instance?

Isn't one's own judgment somewhat responsible in all this? What's next? Where will the 'built-in obsolescence' end? Will babies come with expiration dates tattooed on their little butts at the same time as they're cord is cut? After all - that's their moment of beginning, their manufacturing date; and there are older models hanging around and future ones yet to be manufactured! It IS a little like insurance statistics of life expectancies, though, is it not? haha

Oh, y'all girls! Don't let me get started on hair! hahahah! My apologies in advance for butting in to the conversation - but it's two of my favorite conversationalists, so how could I resist adding my 2-cents' worth? (Obviously, I could not! tee hee!)

Kisses and hugs. . .


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

I absolutely know that it took me years to find my self identity. I, like you are many things, the most important is a mother and a grandmother. I also learned to find happiness, we must be honest and accept that life is not always perfect and to learn to roll with the flow. Great hub..Thank you..Enjoyed...


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Hahahaha. So much for Lurana worrying about hijacking the thread! I love ya, Ms Pot. (Yes, don't think I didn't notice the timing of your previous comment!) You're so funny. I always welcome your two cents' ;).

Thank you for your kind words and enthusiasm to my hub. I appreciate them greatly. I was actually unsure if it came across as clearly as I was hoping.

You know, I thought about my use of "you" when I replied to you earlier, but I couldn't figure out how to edit my comment after the 5 minutes had passed. And then, I was thinking "oh well" because I have plenty of other grammar errors and typos who knows where online (including HP) anyway! :-p. It just is. hehe. Or maybe it just was.

The discussion on "y'all" was when I mentioned I don't think there is a singular form, but according to the quote I mentioned above (which I also couldn't figure out how to format properly on HP), there is indeed a singular form. Thus, Lurana is right and I was apparently wrong. . . at least according to most native Texans. haha

As for expiration dates - some can be ignored to a point. Others, not so much.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, Ruby. I appreciate your visits to my hubs. Right now, I think being a mother is the most important role, but I would still be me if I were not a mother and I will still be when they are grown. :)


Lorri Brooks profile image

Lorri Brooks 3 years ago from Urbana, Illinois

I have always thought of myself as someone self enlightened. I know my mind and I know myself. However my whole life I have struggled with defining myself based on my circumstances. And although I know that a point in time will not define me, I know that it will pass and I will still have my life to live. I struggle with the separation of "me" and that point in time. I have conflicting thoughts and feelings of how I know I want things to be and can be and what I feel that I am trapped in. I hope that I can reach the point of making the hard decisions to satisfy the inner me that is screaming to change it. Thanks Shannon for reminding me that others go through trials and tribulations and to lose yourself will be the greatest loss of them all.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Aw, Lori, you're very welcome. Yes, I can relate to the feelings you describe, but it would be the greatest loss of all. Don't lose yourself! If it matters, I'm remembering a happy elementary girl! Gosh, it's been years since I've seen you! Thanks for the visit to my hub. I appreciate it and your thoughtful comment.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

By the way, Nellieanna, I make a sauce/topping for strawberry shortcake with sugar only on the strawberries. My mother taught me how to do that when I was younger and my kids love it


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

You don't know how close I came to just waiting to comment at all, but since you'd personally directed me to the hub, I couldn't resist at least letting you know I'd read & liked it. I'd hoped the timing might go unnoticed, but not by Ms. Eagle-Eyes Kettle, who, no doubt, was still up herself, so may have read it within minutes after its posting!! hahahaha

I know of no specific, separate, singular form of y'all; but merely a possible (mis)use of y'all as if it were a singular form, which defies all logic and grates on this native Texan's ears. Who was/were the expert/s who claimed it was a proper usage, I wonder?

Lurana makes a good point, though, that: 'colloquialisms sometimes redefine themselves'. My issue with this particular redefinition is that it doesn't seem to arise among Texans' usage of that term, at least not in my experience. Any such usage seems to trickle down from non-Texans who're inclined to attributing to us the use of 'y'all' to refer to the singular, cloaking us in an illiterate guise which doesn't fit, at least not the majority of us. Oh, well. It's super-trivial and even serves to demonstrate your premise here that one's identity is not defined by any such external foolishness! :-)

(Hard telling what a discussion of "fixin' to" would yield if we got started on other Texas colloquialisms!! haha. In fact, I was just fixin' to bring it up! ;-)

Notice this is being posted before midnight, Ms. Kettle! (Hope no one associates that name with Ma Kettle! Wonder what images 'Ms. Pot' paints? aieeeeeee!)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

That's exactly how I've made strawberry shortcake topping when I made it for my family. It works with peaches as well. The fruit needs to be the type with plenty of juice, of course. OOPS. Two minutes after midnight! My pumpkin awaits! :-D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I am trying to decide whether or not to credit you with a "before midnight" credit. Haaha. It was, after all, only posted mere minutes before midnight and you are no doubt still busy commenting on HP or doing something else.

I'm not a native Texan, but I agree that there should not be a singular use of a word clearly mean to include more than one. But I used to find it amusing to hear people say "all y'all" when I first moved here. And I got a lesson in how coke really means Dr Pepper or whatever else the soda of choice may be. And "fixin' to" used to make me laugh because instead of seeming easier to say, it sounded like more of a mouth full to my untrained tongue! Of course, now I have picked up many of those colloquialisms myself. Perhaps another label to gain or be shed? "They" call me a transplanted Yankee! Texans think the way I say Chicago is funny and the Illini folk think I now have a slight twang. haha


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Forget the pumpkin - let's go have strawberry shortcake! haha ;)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Lorri, just noticed I misspelled your name! Sorry. :(


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

Maybe "fixin' to" is a mouthful but it says so much. It means preparing for whatever is to be done soon. It has planning, action and timing, all in that one term! That's why I like it, though I doubt if you'd ever hear me say it. I never said it a lot, if any, but I like & respect it for all it says.

Who ever said a colloquialism is for being more compact in speech, anyway?

Some of the best Texanisms I especially love aren't about specific words, but entire attitudes and unique pronunciations I could never master even if I tried. The family of my childhood 'love' had a way of expressing love verbally which contained so much sweet feeling, it would melt one's heart. It was the way they spoke everything, really. It had to be with their own family accent, which was somehow inherently musical. It wasn't native to me and my family. But 'lovin' you up' was part of it. It sort of compares to 'lovin' on you' which is currently popular as a generational term.

I'd written a 'tangent' about that young love here, but think maybe I'll make it into a hub! Who knows. It's only 11PM, btw! So I still have time to tend to some other things before the clock strikes midnight! hehe ;-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 3 years ago from TEXAS

btw - I haven't quite adjusted to having to ride in a pumpkin yet, en lieu of my crystal carriage, especially with the impediment of having only one slipper! Riding in or on strawberry shortcake sounds just too - - er - uh - ah- duh - MESSY - it will ruin my ball gown! Oh, that's right - - the gown turned back into an old rag, along with the demise of the crystal carriage! And those mice! - who can drive mice properly? They're such jerky little creatures, don't know their right from their left! It's all such severe punishment for being tardy! hehe!

OH! the cake was to be EATEN? Aha! ;-)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I was just finishing an email to you. I'll send it in a few.

No one said a colloquialism is for more compact speech that I know of, but I suppose that I implied it. Many regional expressions are not necessarily about saying something in short form but rather uniquely expressing something

I didn't mean ride in the shortcake! Hahaha But now that I have visions of you in a Cinderella shortcake carriage. . .at least when the carriage turns all the way back into...well...nothing much and the mice are there instead of horses....it should be a softer landing than on a hard pumpkin.


dreamseeker2 3 years ago

Awesome reading! Wow, you describe things so well about how we may see ourselves through others. It is sometimes hard to see ourselves in the mirror, as to who we really are on the inside. What makes us who we've become or hope to be. I like your philosophy! : ) Great work of inner reflection. A good way to see oneself, indeed. I fully approve and agree with your above statements! Voted up and awesome!!!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, dreamseeker. You know, I kind of worried if what I was thinking came across as I meant. Still not quite sure it did, as I have had some responses that might indicate otherwise. However, everyone seems to have gotten some kind of positive message from it, so that makes me happy. It's not just about how we humans tend to see ourselves through the eyes of others, but also how we tend to too closely identify ourselves with the roles we play in life, the things we do. . .perhaps by what we mean to others around us. And then when those things are gone for whatever reason, we are left feeling lost. To me, it is so much better to simply accept that I am who I am no matter what I am, what I have, or what I'm doing.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 3 years ago from Brownsville,TX

hello so nice to read this refreshing hub. thank you for the write

I feel the same way who am I? I am a wife and a mother and grandmother and sister and friend and a writer.. I wear a lot of hats .. but I wouldn't have it any other way.. many blessings to you]

love your hub

Debbie


dreamseeker2 3 years ago

: ) I think you got the message across, shanmarie. It was beautifully expressed through excellant writing.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for taking the time to stop by, Deborah! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Wearing many hats is not a bad thing at all, but take care not to lose yourself while wearing them. :)


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

What a sweet thing to say, dreamseeker! Thank you.


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 3 years ago from Wales

So wonderfully interesting. A great read and leaves much food for thought.

Here's wishing you a wonderful weekend and here's to so many more hubs for us both to share on here.

Eddy.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you, Eddy! You have a wonderful weekend as well, and enjoy your writing class!


SMonaghan119 profile image

SMonaghan119 3 years ago from PA

i always appreciated your insight and comments. i created a hub to keep in touch with a few and would appreciate it you joined in on it. hope all is well. take care.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks. What is this hub you're speaking of?


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Nevermind, I see a notification of it in my email.


Vickiw 3 years ago

Hi Shanmarie, interesting conversation. I think many of us wear several different hats in life, but our essence remains the same, as long as we were able to discover that when we were young enough. Life happens, things change around us, and even within us after events. The big thing is to have resilience, so that you can go on through life, learning more about who you really are.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Yes, Vicki, that is true. Resilience is important. Sadly, I know all too many that seem to cling to suffering, and I am not saying it is by choice, but it still seems so unnecessary to me. In my opinion, knowing one's true self is the key to having resilience, even one's self continues to grow and change as life does.


litsabd profile image

litsabd 3 years ago

The sooner we break the chains of those applied by others and stop playing the roles others have made us play, the sooner we will all find our true selves...great hub my friend...


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for the visit, Litsa. Very true. It's easier to play the roles one chooses to play, too, when the implied negatives from roles imposed upon one are not focused on, if that makes any sense.

Looks like a nasty storm might be moving in here. Rainy and stormy days make me want to curl up with a book. Too bad I don't have time, or a book for that matter. You know, I haven't bought a single books since the fire took all mine. Perhaps HP is the next best thing. haha Have a great day - or evening where you are, I suppose!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I am reminded of something you told me. . .a saying in Greece. . . among the two bads, choose the better option. Something like that, am I right?


litsabd profile image

litsabd 3 years ago

Yes, Shan...your are perfectly right!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Well, thanks. Glad to know! It certainly puts a more positive spin on life sometimes, doesn't it?


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

You certainly give a lot to think about and digest.Now after a good meal and dessert I can rest.I believe as long as we take pride in what we do our true colors will show.We apppear different over time only we can decide who we want to be in the next century.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you for the nice fan mail you left, Dream On, and for reading my hub. Glad to have given you something you like to ponder.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

I love this shan! I think you're a step ahead of me... I'm still trying to figure it out. Another message I got out of this is; we have difficulty defining ourselves and we are a witness from the beginning, so why is it that others are so quick to assume they know who someone is so quickly? I try never to judge, never to jump to conclusions and always be patient because we don't know anyone's personal path that led them to what we see. Beautiful shan!

Cat


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Excellent point, Cat. Why are people so quick to judge? Observation is really the key. Someone told me once that the true test of character is how one behaves even when no one else is around. It's so true. Of course, we all have inconsistencies and we change slightly over time as we think, grow, and respond, but character generally remains the same in most cases. And you know what they say about a person's true colors. . .LOL.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

I think when I was younger and immature... I was quicker to judge and probably even eager to voice my opinion. Then I realized how hard life is and how we all have our own struggles and only through my own experiences did I learn how wrong it was to judge. Whether I'm doing everything right or messing up, I don't want to be judged and so I always try to do the same for others. You don't even want to see how I behave when no one else is around :D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Haha! Actually, I do. I bet standing on twirling chairs and spinning like a whirlwind is just the beginning for you!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Omg, Lurana ~ Google is showing ads for dill pickles on here! LOL hahaha


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

... yes, just the beginning :D

.... and uh... I lost my nose and found it stuck in your business (does that sound dirty?) I couldn't help but investigate what the heck the pickle thing was about... sorry I asked :D .... not really, you guys are funny!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

OMG, Cat! Get your nose out of my rear! LOL

I don't care that you read it. Heck, if it is posted on HP, I probably don't mind that someone else sees it. Anything too personal stays to myself most of the time. It's all good.

Yeah, I picked a funny example.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Oh, my goodness, I think my abs are getting quite defined today... I don't think I've laughed so much in one day in a long time! Hey, I'm cool... I am a lover of all people and even stranger things :D ... I couldn't help but laugh when I scrolled up and saw the ad for pickles and Indian Tribes?!!? :D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Yeah...it amused me, too. That's what happens when hub comments get off track, I guess. Funny thing is, though, the pickle was a comment relating to the hub.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Not so good for Google, but way too funny for twisted hubbers... hey, you aren't gettin' rich here anyway are ya?


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Ha! If I wanted to write specifically for Google, I suppose I could earn more than pennies, but I don't even have ads open on the poems. I think I do on the prose, though, and I have a few things on HP that I didn't really do SEO with, but more or less wrote for Google just because. There are other places online to make money actually selling things I write instead of ad revenue.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Mine just automatically go onto all my hubs, yeah, I'm pretty sure I can stop 'em, but what the heck? When I first came here, I thought that was my goal... now I just do what I'm in the mood for and whatever happens happens, it's a great release and it's cheaper than therapy :D

True that! Once you sell 'em, you lose your rights?


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Haha...If you want to sell your work and keep your rights, try Constant-Content.com. You set your prices according to the rights purchased. Of course, selling full rights means more pay. But, I write web content for that sight to sell it for full rights, not like some of the things on HP that I want to keep rights to.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

O I C :D Is it worth your time?


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Eh, probably if I spent less time on HubPages so that I could write more to sell! I sell one here and there. Have to know what kind of content people are looking for and some SEO knowledge helps.

You might also try WriterAccess. I do quite a bit through them. That site is one you apply for, and if accepted after a writing sample, you grab client orders as they appear in the queue. They have deadlines to complete. But, you don't keep any rights. It's all mostly ghostwriting. There is only one client from that site that even gave me credit as the author on his website...editorial style thing.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

That's pretty cool. I don't know if I could pull myself off of HP long enough to do something productive, but I was just starting to dabble with the ghostwriting thing before I ran into this place. There are so many out there, I actually did one, can't remember the site off the top of my head, but you bid on jobs and I got it, but after all was said and done; I UNDERBID! :D I probably will peak at those couple you mentioned though, at least save 'em to my favorites... and how cool is that to actually give you credit?!


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Odesk? Elance? Those sites are where I first started learning about SEO and how it works, but Odesk is especially cheap. People will write two pages for a buck or two. Guess one gets the quality paid for, though!


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Elance!!! That was it, yeah, wow... I was eager to "get" a job and did what I thought would be a fair price, but once I started it, I was like "what did I do!?!" :D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

I have learned to avoid both Elance and Odesk, especially Odesk because of the price competition...I suppose it is like many other industries. . .people will work for pennies and undervalue themselves just to get the job so the everyone suffers. You were just learning, and I made the same mistake while learning, but seriously - people will literally work for pennies to get some of the jobs. I've had people offer jobs to me for that and I pass it in a hurry now. Don't even pay much attention to offers for work through Odesk anymore.


Cantuhearmescream profile image

Cantuhearmescream 3 years ago from New York

Well, I value your opinion, I'm going to check out those other two, if ever I can stay away from this place long enough :D


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Haha! I think I just wasted my day on HP. Bad, Cat! It's all your fault! :-p


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

You offer great wisdom. I am my worst critic, and even though I know that about myself, I have great difficulty moving past it. I wish I could be like you and acknowledge and accept.

Best Always


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

It's not always easy, by any means. I think a big part of learning to forgive, though, is learning to forgive one's own self. Life care's nothing for the regrets you've made. Learn from them, if you can, but try not to hang onto them. :)


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

Each time I read your works I learn more.Everything I thought I knew is slightly different.Back to the drawing board finding a new me or myself hidden in a place I never thought I would be.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Wow, thanks, Dream On.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 3 years ago

Many people want to know all about life but I want to know all about me.So I can reach into my soul and pull out the essence of my life.The only thing I know for sure is that what I find is fascinating and I can't wait to find more.Each day my thoughts and feelings flow.I carefully evaluate them so.When I read your hub I am thrown into a river.With the current going one way and me going the other.Then there are times I let go and see where the river will take me.Exploring once again the world around me and enjoying all lifes prosperity.Thanx so much for sharing.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

It's hard to swim against the flow. I know that feeling. But hang on to yourself because exploring life through your own essence is what makes the essence of life so enjoyable.


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

shanmarie,

This prose piece, like your poetry, obviously demonstrates that you are a talented writer, and you seem to have a rather philosophical side which I also respect very much.

Best Always,

Kim


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

Hope it was okay to comment again. I am really drawn to this piece.

Kim


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

Aw, thanks Kim! I appreciate that. You're always welcome to comment again and again if you so desire!


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

This is a very thought-provoking piece. Every so once in a while I try to get a handle on who I am. When I define myself as being a certain type of a worker, my world feels strange when I move away and leave the job; When I think of myself as being fit and active, and I gain weight, my world tips a little. So I always have to remember that those are not what defines me, and that who I am is sometimes very fluid, except for my core. My core being is what stays together no matter what my circumstances are. Even if I can't describe who I am, I know it in my heart.

Thanks for sharing this piece with us, and have a great night~

By the way, have you heard from Cat? I haven't seen her in over 2 weeks, and I hope she is okay. She's probably fine, and I hope she is just super busy, and having fun. But she is usually on here so much, and not seeing her here for so long feels odd!

~ Kathryn


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 3 years ago from Texas Author

You nailed it, Kathryn! As for Cat, I haven't been around much either lately, but she's probably on vacation or something. She's sure to feel loved when she gets back with so many missing her, though.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

shanmarie,

Great read and very interesting. Voted up and away. You are one talented writer. Keep up the great work.

Your topic, very deep well of thoughts. What, or whom am I? Not all the mirror says.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thank you much, keeneth avery!


Kenneth Avery 2 years ago

Hi, shanmarie,

You are most-welcome. Keep up the great work. And keep in touch.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 2 years ago from Texas Author

Thanks. Sorry, just realized I typoed your name in my reply.


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 8 months ago

What a great hub. We all have many titles. I think my basic core values remain unchanged over the years. Nicknames pop up and can carry through life. I had one called Smiley. I thought it described me well. It's funny what we learn about others when we don't even know about ourselves.


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 8 months ago from Texas Author

I think many of us can relate to that - knowing our core values yet still figuring other things about ourselves out as we go. It's human and part of being alive. Really, I think even those who seem to have it all together have those moments. Old and young alike.

I read a hub by Missy Smith the other day, "I Am Therefore I Am Not" that sort of addressed the concept of knowing oneself at the core yet still trying to keep it all in balance. Knowing those core values and who we are is a great help when facing other challenges.

Smiley is a good name. I'd rather be called smiley than grumpy. ;)

P.S.

Thanks for a return visit.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

Dear shanmarie,

I have some wisdom to share with you.

"If making a typo misspelling my name is the ONLY and WORST error you ever commit, you have it made. I am not offended at all."

Your Friend for Life,

Kenneth


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 8 months ago from Texas Author

Hahahaha! While I greatly appreciate that gesture, Kenneth, I am not foolish enough to make such a promise. If I ever get to know you well enough, I'm sure I'll commit some kind of additional blunder, probably worse than misspelling your name.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 8 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama

shanmarie,

It's cool. Do not beat yourself up. And you are so welcome.

Oh, I think we WILL get to know each other well in months and years to come.

You are one of my followers, right?

If not, then I cordially invite you to be one. Nothing would make me happier.

Honest.

I will be looking for you.

Your Friend for Life,

Kenneth


shanmarie profile image

shanmarie 8 months ago from Texas Author

No worries. Not beating myself up. Just playfully acknowledging how human I am. Yes, I am a follower of yours. :)

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