Showing Compassion to us Dieters
And today's subject is
One that I had rather just pass and move into writing about an "easy" topic: Love tips for lonely people with self-esteem issues, but by writing about dieting, I am actually facing a personal fear: Gaining all of the weight back that God helped me to lose since Nov. 11, this day, which is forever branded on the walls of my brain, was the day I was admitted to the North Mississippi Medical Center, Tupelo, for congestive heart failure.
Long story short. Big story small. I have lost from 345 pounds to 230 and this is no fairytale. This is the truth. My goal: 200 pounds which my cardiologist agrees is where I need to stop. But "that" fear of gaining weight is ever-present. I get up with it and go to bed with it. If you have ever dieted or now on a diet, you know exactly what I am talking about.
My diet explained
Just so you current and past dieters will know, I am on what is called "The Fresh Diet." Everything fresh. Mostly fruits and veggies. Only baked chicken, fish and such. NO junk food of any type. It works and I have tried many types of diets over the years including (and not limited to) "The Liquid Diet," which is doable, but dangerous if used more than two weeks. The diet says that each time you feel hunger pangs, drink a liquid. Any liquid, but alcohol. I lost eight pounds on this one in 1983. I also remember "The Black Dexatrim Diet." At 10 each morning, take one of these diet capsules that are no longer on the market and drink a huge glass of water. Over a year's time and careful eating, I said goodbye to 81 pounds, but today my nerves are suffering from that unwise decision.
I both like and dislike "The Fresh Diet." Especially when I am around folks who were blessed with "that" special metabolism where they can gorge on pure hog lard and LOSE pounds. Thus, I have become reclusive toward "these" people.
So now I am going to share a few helpful tips to you who never need a diet and how you can help those of us who do need diets with a little ditty I call . . .
Showing Compassion to us Dieters
People Who Never Needed a Diet:
- Paul Ruben (Pee Wee Herman)
- Mick Jagger and any of the Stones
- Any of the Beatles
- George Clooney
- Jerry Reed
- Jessica Alba
- Kate Middleton
- Princess Diana
- Brian Regan
- Jill St. John
- Lee Ann Rimes
- Jack Benny
- Nat King Cole
- Dr. Martin Luther King
- John F. and Bobby Kennedy
and there are more. I just thought I might give homage to "the calorically-blessed" who are and have been in our lives.
(Things Dieters Hate to Hear):
- "Hey, "tubby!" You going with us for all-you-can-eat pizza? Oh, sorry. I mean all-"we"-can-eat pizza."
- "Just look at me, "fats." I eat all I want of anything I want and hey, I lose weight. Now don't you wish you had been born to my mom?"
- "Yes, waiter. We will all have the T-bone Steak Special with all of the trimmings and our friend here is on a diet will have a glass of water and a couple of your best toothpicks."
- "Here! Taste this freshly-baked chocolate cake. One bite won't hurt you."
- "How's your diet working? Now aren't you supposed to be losing instead of gaining weight?"
- "Hey, Bob! Watch me chew this bite of lasagna that is loaded with calories as slow as I can."
- "Hey, Mike! Dieting is not that tough, well, for me anyway."
(Things Not to Do to Dieters):
- Order two large cheese pizza's and have them delivered to their home as a prank.
- Invite yourself to their home, but bring a picnic basket filled with the food that they cannot have and then sit and munch it in front of them.
- Each time you meet someone on a diet, walk up to them and pat them on the tummy. Then sarcastically say, "bread basket's getting bigger each day, huh?"
- Enter them (without them knowing it) into a food eating contest, but the food being consumed is forbidden to the dieter.
- When you and your super-slim wife are invited to play cards with the couple who are both dieting, every so often just stand and flex your muscles and say, "Jim, just touch my rock-hard abs!" Then add insult to insult by saying, "Oh, I'm sorry. You don't have abs. You have rolls of fat."
- Give them a wall poster of Kevin James and Jackie Gleason. No need for me to explain.
- Phone the dieter up and while talking to them, be eating potato chips as close to the phone as possible.
Now. Just let me say this: A little clean fun among dieters and non-dieters is fine, but things on this list said and done by non-dieters is simply cruel, cold, and asinine. I might add, you are no friend to your friends who need to diet in order to live.
Do me one favor: Do one kind gesture or say one kind thing to a dieter. Your one act of compassion or words of support might help to keep them around for a few more years.
And good night, Hollywood, California.
If you are dieting, the only advice I will give you is:
Going at your diet a day at the time is key. Do not
try to lose all of your weight at one time.
© 2016 Kenneth Avery
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