How to Help Someone Lose Weight

Otherwise happily married couples admit that weight gain affects their marriages either from lack of self-esteem or waning interest in both partners. If your spouse has a weight problem, here's how you can help.

What doesn't work

Threats. Threatening to leave is not a good motivator as it only makes the spouse fearful which can cause overeating as a way to soothe the anxiety.

Ridicule and scorn. Guilting a person into losing weight never works as resentment overshadows any shame. In fact, this often leads to passive-aggressive retaliation most often in the form of closet eating.

Withdrawing or showing disappointment. Rejection is yet another negative feedback that makes her feel bad about herself and thus continue the cycle of overeating.

Policing her diet and forcing her to exercise. Removing her free will causes her to rebel.

What works

Unconditional love. Showing your mate that your love is not something that will be withdrawn so easily bolsters her self-esteem which gives her incentive to manage the issues that cause weight gain. Her love and appreciation for your are powerful motivators, too.

Being supportive. Those unspoken acts have the most impact. Going on a bike ride or for a long walk without the nagging or pushing to go farther or faster than she is capable of. Refusing to eat high calorie food in front of her to avoid tempting her. Offering praise and encouragement for her efforts.

Make this about health first and foremost. If you genuinely care for your spouse, the weight gain is a health concern and not merely an attraction issue. As a devoted mate, you should be able to see beyond exterior or surface appearances since you of all people know the man or woman inside the body. That is what real love is.

To become disgusted with your mate's personal appearance shows a little shallowness on your part. It's one thing to become alarmed over sincere concern or distress but another to be repulsed physically. While men are said to be visually stimulated by the outer effects of beauty for sexual attraction, they'd better not show any revulsion towards their mates over any weight issues or the rejection will only exacerbate the emotional issues that cause the weight gain in the first place.

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