Stuff I'd Like to See In Workout Videos
Let's Work It Out!
For about 6 years now, I have opted to use workout videos to incorporate more exercise into my daily life. Yes, sometimes I slack off, but eventually, I can't fit into my shorts anymore and I dust off the workout videos or DVDs again. I've even been known to watch workouts on Comcast On Demand or YouTube. However, I've found I am longing for more variety.
Since I watch these videos all the time, I've seen everything from the lowest-budget workouts to really professional workouts. Yes, there is some variety, but there are some additional scenes I would like to see one day when . Basically, some items on this list are really unpractical, but I don't care. This is my list and this is some stuff I would like to see in workout videos. working out
Painfully Slow Dance Instructions
I workout with a group of co-workers about once a week and sometimes we attempt to incorporate some dance exercise routines into our workout. Sadly, we are all extremely uncoordinated. Usually one person walks away angry, another person ends up with a twisted ankle, and another person may have gotten an elbow to the face during some dance grand finale. We are not dancers. We are just trying to exercise.
What I want to see is a dance exercise video for us. The sad, pathetic dancers of the world need our own routine. Here is an example of what I need:
"OK, let's move our right foot out to the side just like this. OK, now let's do that 20 times. Got it now?
Alright move you left foot to the side the same way 20 times. Do you have it now? Now, let us put the 2 moves together. Go you!
It is time for arms now. Let's practice this move 20 times!"
Instead, I do not get this kind of explanation at all. Even the basic workouts assume the viewer has at least a tiny morsel of rhythm or talent. This is just not the case with some of us. Most workout videos go something like this:
"OK, let's move the right foot out to the side. OK... do that twice. Now the left foot... now let's get your hands involved."
Wait, I just got lost. What do I do after moving my right foot? Sorry. Now let me cry over some ice cream. Thanks, dance instructor.
Yeah, I said it. I want some reality in my workout videos. I am tired of all the sweet, gentle orders the exercise instructor throws out. I am an adult. Please give me some profanity. I don't care if you have to give youran "R" rating. Just do it. If I am cursing at the screen for the entire workout, I want an instructor that does the same to me. workout DVD
I don't know about anyone else, but I will get really pumped if someone bounced onto the TV screen shouting, "Yeah, let's do this s*** today! Your a** is going to be ready to fall off at the end of this workout!" Hell, yeah! That is exactly what I want. Well, maybe not for all of it to fall off, but I get the meaning of this statement. Bring it on!
Sure, Jillian Michaels can be a bit harsh at times, but even she does not say everything I'd like to hear. Perhaps some instructors could include phrases like, "I'll bet you think you are going to f***ing die right now, don't you? I don't care! Keep working out, b****! Do what I say!" I don't know about anyone else, but I am not giving up now. This instructor is crazy!
Sure, I know that type of workout routine would not be for everyone, but it would be for me. Just put an "R" rating on the box, label it with "explicit language" on the case, and watch people jump on the opportunity to buy it.
Yes, I want to see big people. I know the Biggest Loser has several workout DVDs available and thank you for that. But I've noticed other workout videos try to put the big girl or the chubby guy in the back row. Oh no. I want to see them workout, too. Overweight people workout all the time.
Some people are just naturally a little big-boned. They still like to get a nice workout just like anyone else. Plenty of people who are overweight workout. Some folks are trying to lose weight and they've just begun their journey. Other people have been trying to lose weight for years, and sure you might see a 250 pound person exercising, but maybe that person was 300 pounds the year before. Who knows? I just want to see some people who are not stick-thin working out. We are all in this together!
Moments of Real Emotion
Yes, I know Richard Simmons is more than happy to amp up his emotions and burst into tears for no apparent reason, but not enough workouts include real emotion. I am tired of instructors looking directly at the camera and smiling while shouting, "Keep those arms up... don't stop moving your legs... just 8 more to go!" Stop smiling at me! I am in pain!
I want someone to tell me they are miserable, too. I want someone working out in the back row to start whining or perhaps fall on the ground begging for the workout to end. Is it a soap opera or is it a workout? No one even knows anymore, but it is awesome!
I suppose I am just looking for a bit more "reality" in more workouts. I want to do workouts made by real people wearing real workout clothes with real bodies telling me how to do some exercises that are realistic. I just want to keep it real with my workouts. Is that so wrong?
Well... probably it is wrong, but whatever. That is what I want.
Copyright ©2013 Jeannieinabottle
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