Stuff I'd Like to See In Workout Videos

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Let's Work It Out!

For about 6 years now, I have opted to use workout videos to incorporate more exercise into my daily life. Yes, sometimes I slack off, but eventually, I can't fit into my shorts anymore and I dust off the workout videos or DVDs again. I've even been known to watch workouts on Comcast On Demand or YouTube. However, I've found I am longing for more variety.

Since I watch these videos all the time, I've seen everything from the lowest-budget workouts to really professional workouts. Yes, there is some variety, but there are some additional scenes I would like to see one day when working out. Basically, some items on this list are really unpractical, but I don't care. This is my list and this is some stuff I would like to see in workout videos.


Painfully Slow Dance Instructions

I workout with a group of co-workers about once a week and sometimes we attempt to incorporate some dance exercise routines into our workout. Sadly, we are all extremely uncoordinated. Usually one person walks away angry, another person ends up with a twisted ankle, and another person may have gotten an elbow to the face during some dance grand finale. We are not dancers. We are just trying to exercise.

What I want to see is a dance exercise video for us. The sad, pathetic dancers of the world need our own routine. Here is an example of what I need:

"OK, let's move our right foot out to the side just like this. OK, now let's do that 20 times. Got it now?

Alright move you left foot to the side the same way 20 times. Do you have it now? Now, let us put the 2 moves together. Go you!

It is time for arms now. Let's practice this move 20 times!"

Instead, I do not get this kind of explanation at all. Even the basic workouts assume the viewer has at least a tiny morsel of rhythm or talent. This is just not the case with some of us. Most workout videos go something like this:

"OK, let's move the right foot out to the side. OK... do that twice. Now the left foot... now let's get your hands involved."

Wait, I just got lost. What do I do after moving my right foot? Sorry. Now let me cry over some ice cream. Thanks, dance instructor.

Profanity

Yeah, I said it. I want some reality in my workout videos. I am tired of all the sweet, gentle orders the exercise instructor throws out. I am an adult. Please give me some profanity. I don't care if you have to give your workout DVD an "R" rating. Just do it. If I am cursing at the screen for the entire workout, I want an instructor that does the same to me.

I don't know about anyone else, but I will get really pumped if someone bounced onto the TV screen shouting, "Yeah, let's do this s*** today! Your a** is going to be ready to fall off at the end of this workout!" Hell, yeah! That is exactly what I want. Well, maybe not for all of it to fall off, but I get the meaning of this statement. Bring it on!

Sure, Jillian Michaels can be a bit harsh at times, but even she does not say everything I'd like to hear. Perhaps some instructors could include phrases like, "I'll bet you think you are going to f***ing die right now, don't you? I don't care! Keep working out, b****! Do what I say!" I don't know about anyone else, but I am not giving up now. This instructor is crazy!

Sure, I know that type of workout routine would not be for everyone, but it would be for me. Just put an "R" rating on the box, label it with "explicit language" on the case, and watch people jump on the opportunity to buy it.

Big People

Yes, I want to see big people. I know the Biggest Loser has several workout DVDs available and thank you for that. But I've noticed other workout videos try to put the big girl or the chubby guy in the back row. Oh no. I want to see them workout, too. Overweight people workout all the time.

Some people are just naturally a little big-boned. They still like to get a nice workout just like anyone else. Plenty of people who are overweight workout. Some folks are trying to lose weight and they've just begun their journey. Other people have been trying to lose weight for years, and sure you might see a 250 pound person exercising, but maybe that person was 300 pounds the year before. Who knows? I just want to see some people who are not stick-thin working out. We are all in this together!

Moments of Real Emotion

Yes, I know Richard Simmons is more than happy to amp up his emotions and burst into tears for no apparent reason, but not enough workouts include real emotion. I am tired of instructors looking directly at the camera and smiling while shouting, "Keep those arms up... don't stop moving your legs... just 8 more to go!" Stop smiling at me! I am in pain!

I want someone to tell me they are miserable, too. I want someone working out in the back row to start whining or perhaps fall on the ground begging for the workout to end. Is it a soap opera or is it a workout? No one even knows anymore, but it is awesome!

I suppose I am just looking for a bit more "reality" in more workouts. I want to do workouts made by real people wearing real workout clothes with real bodies telling me how to do some exercises that are realistic. I just want to keep it real with my workouts. Is that so wrong?

Well... probably it is wrong, but whatever. That is what I want.


Copyright ©2013 Jeannieinabottle

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Comments 14 comments

carol7777 profile image

carol7777 3 years ago from Arizona

Interesting..I have rarely used videos..Mostly we opt for outdoor exercise..However when the weather gets bad...Maybe not a bad idea. You are so right with your ideas.


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

Voted way up! I would love to see some uncensored profanity, whining and big boned people in work out videos. Maybe I'd actually work out if this were the case!


Weekend Reader profile image

Weekend Reader 3 years ago

Coming soon to a DVD near you: "REAL Workouts with Jeannie and her Co's." Exercise "instructors" who get tired, reach for the aspirin every time they swig some water, participants who pause for breath or flat-out say "H*** No!" Much potential there, I think!


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

carol7777 - I really like workout videos, but never really gave them a try until about 6 years ago. I do love Tae Bo and some Biggest Loser workouts, but other workouts are seriously lacking. Thanks for your comment!

FlourishAnyway - Thanks for the votes up! I am happy to hear it is not just me that would be entertained by these things.

Weekend Reader - I would love to see a coach or instructor take an aspirin. That would be awesome! Or maybe see someone pull a muscle. Thanks for your support with my idea. :-)


randomcreative profile image

randomcreative 3 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

I am a fan of workout videos and would love to see any of these components included in them. It would make for a much more interesting routine and would put a lot of people at ease.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am happy to find out others feel the same way I do about workout videos. Maybe I need to create my own on Youtube. Thanks for checking out my hub.


europewalker profile image

europewalker 3 years ago

Voted up! I am with you on this one. It takes more that sweetness and smiles to get my a** moving. Also quit having size two twigs giving me instructions. A little profanity wouldn't offend me:)


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Thanks so much for getting on board with me on this one. I would create my own workout video full of profanity... if I only knew what I was doing! Thanks for the vote up!


Kathryn Stratford profile image

Kathryn Stratford 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

I am surprised this doesn't have more votes for funny, because this is hysterical! I love it!

I remember when I was a teenager, my friend Maike and I closed the blinds in my living room, and "danced" to one of Richard Simmon's videos. It was the Disco one. I was so uncoordinated, and couldn't keep up with him for the life of me! It was fun, but if it were a little slower I may have actually gotten the hang of the moves.

The profanity section is great. That would be awfully motivating, and I would probably laugh. It would also be great if there'd be less cheerful instructors, and not quite so many thin girls.

This really made my night. Voted up and sharing.


dghbrh profile image

dghbrh 3 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

Nice hub ...votes up and sharing.


drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

I second you, Jeannie, on being able to watch workout videos with real people that we, the viewers who are not perfectly proportioned, nor thin as sticks can identify with. Enjoyed your clever suggestions.


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

Kathryn, thanks so much! I am happy you enjoyed my hub. Me and my "crew" at work tried Richard Simmons recently and it was hilarious. Watching it was funny, as well as seeing us try to do the workout. But we definitely could have used some profanity. ;-)

dghbrh - Thanks so much for sharing and for the vote up!

drbj - I am glad we agree on the all shapes and sizes thing in videos. Of course, it is good to aim for looking thin, but it is nice to see others that are not in perfect shape. Thanks!


lisasuniquevoice profile image

lisasuniquevoice 3 years ago from Michigan

Jeannieinabottle,

It would be so motivating to see real people acting tired and stressed along with the super happy types that smile through the whole workout. Also, I agree that these DVD instructors should keep it real with the language. No one, especially those just starting out, avoids four letter words while killing themselves lifting, bending, and stretching. It's hard work. If we act like it and admit it maybe then we won't be intimated by the quest to stay in shape. I'm voting this hub up and awesome, and I'm sharing.

Lisa


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD Author

I am happy to hear you are on board with me with some of these ideas. I am starting to think I should start my own workout video... with my own painfully slow instructions filled with profanity. :-) Thanks for your comment!

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