Subconscious Combat: Battling Depression
There's a distinct difference between a moment or event triggering a negative emotion, and dealing with that feeling for more than a moment's time, for what would seem to be no reason at all. That feeling of being low, as if you are worthless, helpless, and there is no hope. That feeling is depression at it's worst, and can often lead to suicidal thoughts or actions.
Much like it did for me.
I have been dealing with depression for quite some time, and just recently had dangerous thoughts of finally bringing it all to an end. I decided that wasn't the option however, and took myself to the hospital, where I was taken to a room and screened immediately for what it was exactly that had brought me in.
The doctor concluded the screening and told me that due to my suicidal thoughts I would be referred to a psychiatrist that would further determine treatment for my condition. I was unaware at the time that I would not return home for another 3 days.
The psychiatrist had suggested that I be held as an inpatient, in the Kettering Behavioral Medical Center, which is where one would stay for an extended period of time and receive medical treatment during their stay. I was furious. I had sought help, not to be institutionalized.
I can honestly say though, now, after having gone through inpatient treatment for 3 days straight, that this event has changed my life in a way that I would have been completely unable to by myself.
I am currently on a low-dose anti-depressant called Citalopram, which is generic for Celexa. I was at first ashamed at the thought of having to resort to medication, but the thought was quickly replaced with something that had been absent within my brain for some time.
I now had something to help myself, and that gave me hope. It instilled in me a sense that things do not have to be as bad as you make them out to be, or perhaps they truly are.
This is a brief recap of my story. I reflect my personal thoughts in hopes that someone near you that you may think is suffering from depression can receive help from you and further treatment and guidance. Depression and suicide are very real, and very serious, and I have had my time with both, and can proudly say that I have come out a stronger person, ready to take on whatever life brings to my table. Without the inpatient treatment and the medication, I do not believe I would be where I am right now.
So speak up! If you feel a friend or loved one is combatting depression, and possibly having suicidal thoughts, help them! Reach out to them and show them that things might seem bad, and they could very well be truly awful, but there is help, and there are ways to handle something even as serious as depression.
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