MMT : How to do "tapper down" in your maintenance of Methadone? Be safe, and read what and how to do!

Have You ever been in situation that You know, or predict, what's gonna happen if something cause it? Have you ever been into situation when life is out your control, and life has been taken by others by the meaning of controlling it? Yes. You probably know what I am talking about. Getting of from methadone. Getting of and saying:"Goodbye" , to something that you could lean on whenever you needed him. Just like a stick that we are are leaning on - that is methadone to us. Now, someone is thinking about to get on to feet and walk "without a stick", and someone "needs a stick to the rest of his life". Methadone, to me, after all these time being on it did incredible job, but in same time - it came to an environment, like my family is, where they all are antagonistic thinking about it. Methadone, as a medication, has never been accepted by my family. The maintenance has never been accepted as something that can/could help me. The word "therapy", is "free taking drugs" - for those who supposed to be there and support me - especially in these kind of moment.Mostly forced by the closest, who "only wish best", are now my closest environment that are literally pushing me to quit methadone, and already started to tapper of because ... I have no right to dose and take my medicines "while I'm under their roof". Now...

Once...I was happy.

Me with one of my ex. (starting on therapy)
Me with one of my ex. (starting on therapy) | Source
Me, on 90mg therapy.
Me, on 90mg therapy. | Source
Me.... starting 90mg scheme.
Me.... starting 90mg scheme. | Source

I have been on detoxification, more than four times. I've been two times at home, officially on a private doctors issue, and than two more on issue of Regional Clinic Center - "Team for drug addiction" , and hospitalized 2 times in same institution - "Regional Clinic Center "Vojvodina" section "Social Psychiatry". Every single time, they were trying the detox, already "a pattern" applied to everyone who has been and seen, or get trough all that, the pattern of detox using tramadol and benzodiazepines . After all this, I've been put on Naloxone pills 50mg. No offense to anyone, buy monkeys would conclude that after numerous FAILED detoxes and naltrexone-based therapies - that M.M.T (Methadone Maintenance Treatment) is must. The chief of clinic, prof.dr.prim.Nikola Vuckovic - literally forced by me , agreed to sit and talk with me about methadone - starting in my 20th year. I was the youngest, in whole state, that methadone was given to. After short chat with prof.dr.prim. Vuckovic - the chief, he asked me: "Why the hell did they wait until you almost die, and then again to put me on opiate-antagonist based treatment??!". NOW THE KEY MOMENT ... After just a week, I came on Thursday with my mom, when "Team for narcotic addiction" do the meetings with addicts that are seeking for help. (They either get home-detox, or 3 boxes of Tramadol to wait 2 weeks for intro-hospital detox (again with tramadol scheme) or getting into Methadone treatment). I was first pronounced to get in, maybe it was my mistake to get into my mom, but they've said that what I am aiming for "buprenorphine maintenance" is NOT an option (it was already registered, and everything...on question why, I've got no answer) , and they gave me a paper where I am entering into Methadone treatment. I was happy - to be honest. With starting dose of 20mg, and being clear until starting dose for 2months, they had every propositions for successful therapy to get me off. And, until day today's - it/they did the job. BUT, THE CRUCIAL MOMENT WAS WHEN MY MOM, WITH TEARS IN HER EYES, WAS SITTING IN THE CHAIR BESIDE ME, AND THE HEAD OF "TEAM" SAID: "Miss, with this step, we are literally cutting one of his legs." CAN YOU BELIEVE IT ??!?!

With obvious antagonistic thinking about opiate substitute based treatments/therapies, they as highly respected pro's , told something like that to obviously emotionally distressed woman who will be my actual supervisor in therapy, and my closest person that I should trust ...lean on.. tell everything... believe in me, believe in her... With that sentence, plus my mom has an high level of respect to that doctor (it's female), plus with previous stigma that caught her as many others with myths about treatment and etc... I was doomed. The treatment, started with above sentence... instead of encouraging words and procedure that is, at least, an "unwritten rule". No - there was nothing like that from "professional" side.

Starting with 20mg dosage, rising by 10, then 10, then 10, then 10, then 20 , then 10 every second MONTH - I've got to the dosage after more than a year that I can rely on, where I feel finally good. Meanwhile, I've got a job, I was seeking for it, I still seek it (because of NCR Corp. discrimination...to M.M.T patients) ... And now, just 1 month after MY FIRST "GOOD SPECIALIST RESULT" where it says that patient is feeling good, no abstinence symptoms, etc... My closest, want to lower the (finally) right dosage , and get me (i think that the real propose of all this agony) to get me off methadone as soon as possible.

Even, if I told my dad that I can not go out, without methadone, being sure in me that I won't take anything... It is bit coward like words, but being in a skin of a chronic mental sick patient ... I don't think so. But still, I cry every night ... I have no support from anybody, except my girlfriend, I have nobody that supports me. I just have a family that I can not eat with them on same table... And father and mother that call me with names like: " I am ashamed of you..." , "When I see you, i see the ruin..." ,"You are disgrace of this family" ...etc...


Now, I am asking You!

Now, when You all know the most realistic situation, from beginning to its very own end, I am asking You to tell me : WHAT TO DO ?

Be aware:

  1. All medications are at my mom
  2. She is dosing me methadone
  3. She is already started tapping of ...
  4. If I want to take everything "in my hands" , she sais : "You have 22 almost, there's a street, than You can dose Yourself as much as You want to.. "
  5. I have finished ITAcademy / Network Administration Dept. for "Certificated System Admininistrator"
  6. She is professor in Comprehensive school.
  7. Dad is unemployeed for more than 20 years.
  8. There is a six of us in house, mom(1960') - dad(1964) - brother + girlfriend (86' and 88 ' - 6 years of living together in this house) - sister ( 97' ) ....
  9. I have nowhere to go...

ASKING YOU - WHAT TO DO

Reading this Hub, being aware of facts ... Tell me what to do, to regain the life under methadone, my right for treatment, what to do to just be on it and live LIFE ?

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lafamillia profile image

lafamillia 4 years ago from Soutcentral Europe Author

BE A PART OF REAL LIFE STORY - MAKE YOUR VOTE AND HELP TO MAKE DECISION.


JamesPoppell profile image

JamesPoppell 4 years ago

You need to get into a support group like narcotics anonymous. Is your mom licensed to dispense Methadone? I am not sure where you live but I am pretty sure Methadone can only be dispensed by a doctor. If she has your medication you need to get it back from her because she is breaking the law. Can you stay with your girlfriend? Your family does not understand the situation and they are doing more harm than helping you. I am not sure if we are getting the full story here but the first thing is to get into a support group and start networking within the group to see if you can find a place to live, with people who understand your situation. Good luck. My heart goes out to you.


Scottye Davis profile image

Scottye Davis 4 years ago

First of all I would like to to applaud your efforts in fighting this terrible addiction. Too many people scoff at people like you calling them junkies or druggies without really understanding what is going on in your body. If they have never had an addiction they WILL NOT understand what it is like to live day by day needing a substance. Your entire body screams with desire and you become physically sick to the point of wanting to die. I'm sorry you have had to go through this and I support whatever decision you make. I personally have never tried heroin (I am afraid of needles) But I have close friends that are recovering addicts and friends that have OD"ed and their body was put in the trunk of a car and left to rot. Please with all you have get off this terrible drug and if your family is making it difficult for you to stay on track, get additional help. There are programs you can attend and shelters you can go to. God Bless You And Be With You.


Scottye Davis profile image

Scottye Davis 4 years ago

Also can you elaborate on what tapper of is? I didn't vote because I wasn't sure what it was.


becauseilive profile image

becauseilive 4 years ago from N.J.

@Scottye Davis - He means "taper off", or to decrease his dose down to zero. I agree with the above comments, I'm not sure what country you are in, but if the methadone prescription is in your name and you are clearly older than 18, then you should be the one administering it to yourself, not your mother. It is sad that she sees methadone as the problem, rather than the solution.

There is a really good article over at the AT Watchdog forum that addresses friends and family members of methadone patients. Perhaps she'd read it if you printed it out for her? Here is the link: http://atwatchdog.lefora.com/2010/08/02/dear-famil...

Good luck.


WD Curry 111 profile image

WD Curry 111 4 years ago from Space Coast

I lived next door to a man on Methadone maintenance, and he had to go to the clinic every week for his. It took him a long time to taper down. He finally just gave up on that and quit cold turkey.

The last time I saw him he looked great and was doing well. He said, "You will never quit until you want to."

You are a man. If you don't like your situation, do something about it.


lafamillia profile image

lafamillia 4 years ago from Soutcentral Europe Author

@JamesPopell Thank You so much. This is the real story. All they see is: We give You Your medicine in Your hands, Your will be drugged. If You want it, have it, but out on street. So, can they, just like that - I am really a good man, not agressive or something like that, to trow me out of house. I'm 1990.


lafamillia profile image

lafamillia 4 years ago from Soutcentral Europe Author

@Scottye Davie

Thanks again. But, yes... That is a problem, they DO NOT understand me, but I really don't know how - because they are smart people (honestly) and recently turning more and more in to alcoholics...


lafamillia profile image

lafamillia 4 years ago from Soutcentral Europe Author

the term "tapper of" has a meaning mostly in methadone maintenance treatments, when You start to do the "reverse pyramid" program of taking methadone. So instead of.../\...

from smaller to greater doses...you do the opposite "V" scheme. Like... 1 mg per week ... Or something like that. It just SOUNDS nothing but... For me, I am on 280 pure liquid methadone-hydrochloride drops (In Serbia we have pure) in formulation 30dropps=10mg , so am like on 90mg. I get week needs for therapy , so that is one week 6 bottles of 10ml pure methadone-hcl (with a bit of ethanol, and distillate water as a solvent), and second week 7 bottles of 10ml (1ml=10mg=30dropps).


lafamillia profile image

lafamillia 4 years ago from Soutcentral Europe Author

@WD Curry

I have only 21. and I have no one to help me. I totally agree with sentence "You will never quit until you want to." and "You are a man. If you don't like your situation, do something about it." , but I do NOT want quit - YET - so rapidly...I haven't been on therapy for 2 years, and 3 years is an MINIMUM OF ALL MINIMUMS. And about doing something about it... Well, creating and helping people trough web portal, and creating that web site and forum for those who are "FORGOTTEN".

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