The Disease of Drug Addiction Calls to Me
What are we doing to ourselves? Who would, in their right mind, would put harmful chemicals into their body and do it over and over again? The answer? An addict. Please be warned this can a bit graphic reading.
Do you remember when you were a kid and you could go on and ride your bike all day and not really get tired? Do you remember waking up the next day and doing just that all over again? Have you ever heard parents say about their children,"...if we could just bottle that energy..." That is what drugs made me feel like.
Sometime in my twenties i fell victim to my own mind. Dealing with chronic pain in my knees I began to self diagnose. Through what happened to be a huge mistake, I had tried my first Vicodin. Waiting tables at the time, I felt as if the night flew by and had the stamina of a fifteen year old. My god how simply euphoric it was, that first high, the first encounter with something that took the pain away and replaced it with something great! From then it was an affair with little white pills. Lieing, and deceiving my loved ones, bosses, friends.
You see nothing is free in life, we all must pay it back eventually. My "friends" at the time would help me find the drugs, but no one tells you about the bad part. Yes the bad part that everyone neglects to mention is that after a while of using drugs, for some people months for others a year or so, you will have picked up a drug addiction. This will include waking up everyday wishing to die, shitting yourself, vomiting and the most horrible cold shakes if you cannot find or afford the drugs. Oh yeah and what it takes to get you high seems to increase quite rapidly. You see, at first you take drugs and you get high. You start from a point I call feeling, "normal," you have the use of all of your motor skills and there are no problems in functioning. Then the sickness kicks in and you start your day with the withdrawls, which is your body going into shock from not having the opiates in your brain to make you feel high. After you take opiates your brain will stop producing a lot of different chemicals because it gets them from another source. The drugs. When you don't take the drugs your brain still doesn't realize it needs to start making these chemicals again. So what you feel is, "the withdrawls." So, now you start your day from below, "normal," and have to take enough drugs to get you to, "normal," and then more still, to get you high. Now the more you take to get high the more your tolerance builds up and then more you have to take to get to that normal level. You see that this is a vicious cycle, and I would not wish the pains of withdrawls on my worst enemy. Now what all addicts search for is to get the same high, as their first high. The unattainable high, we call it. It's as if you have the hottest girl in the bar, and she wants you. You want her too, and you have had her once before but she seems to keep walking through the crowd of people and you cannot seem to catch up with her. You might brush against her arm every step or two but you just can't grab her long enough to make her yours. A fond metaphor of mine. A drug addict will never get that high again, ever.
Heroin use is growing rapidly, and it kills just as fast. N.B.C. says,"Drug overdoses have topped car crashes as the leading cause of accidental death in Ohio for the past few years." This is staggering, and there is rumor in the local Narcotics Anonymous rooms that the town in which I live is being dubbed the heroin capital of the U.S. It grips a person with such force that the first time they try it, they are hooked. Nikki Sixx from the popular 80's band Motley Crue was quoted as saying,"all the other drugs I've used were just affairs but, when I used Heroin it was love."
Drugs are a real problem in American life today. Some 20.4 million people use some sort of illicit drug on a regular basis in the United States today. That is a lot of people who neglect their children, lie to their spouses, and kill others for an addiction. It is a real and very sad truth in this world and it will only keep going.
As a recovering addict I spread these facts of drug addiction in hope of fufilling the twelveth step as a member of N.A. to carry this message of experience, strength, and hope to any addicts reading or a loved one of an addict.
I have been clean for almost two years as of the publishing date of these works. I hope with all of my heart that I have helped even just one person struggling with drugs, and say a prayer for the addict who will get high for the first time tonight as well as the addict who will get high for the last time tonight.
Please, say, "NO," to drugs.
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