The Dream that Prepared me for Dad's Death

My Big Dream

The Dream Journal that sits on my night stand
The Dream Journal that sits on my night stand | Source

Definition of Dreams

Dream - definition of dream by The Free Dictionary

www.thefreedictionary.com/dream

dream (drēm) n. 1. A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

The Big Dream Prepared Me

Dreams have always been a big part of my life. They give me answers to my current and past struggles, they help me work through grief when I have lost a loved-one and they entertain me in my night life. The dream I am writing about in this hub is one that helped me prepare for my father's death. Dad had been sick for some time with emphysema and I was having trouble coming to terms with his impending death from this disease.



My Big Dream

I'm over at dad's apartment watching t.v. I hear a noise coming from the kitchen and run to see what's going on. Dad is using his hands and pointing to his throat. It's obvious to me that dad is gasping for air and will die if I don't do something. I call 911 but something is wrong with the phone, so I pick dad up in my arms and put him in the car. I speed to the hospital but keep my eye on dad as he is fighting for air. I am so scared but keep telling him that everything will be alright. I eventually get him to the hospital. I am holding dad in my arms running through the hospital. I am running down a very long and dark tunnel. I keep repeating to dad that everything will be ok and I will get him help. As I'm running to get help and holding him in my arms, I am calling my family of four siblings. I am screaming and crying and asking them to come to the hospital because I think dad is dying. Each sibling I talked to, blew me off and had better things to do than worry about dad and this situation. I was so hurt for dad and very angry that they didn't seem to care. I keep searching for a doctor as I'm running down the hallway and hoping I will see one in time to save my dad. I eventually see a doctor in blue scrubs and beg and scream for him to help my dad. The doctor says there is nothing he can do, even though he hasn't even checked him out. I feel so alone and scared because no one seems to listen or care. I look down at dad after the doctor leaves us, and he is dead. The grief is more than I can bear as I sit on the floor, holding my dear father in my arms. Tears stream down my face and fall on dad as I cry out in sheer pain and sadness.

I woke up from the dream and ran into dad's room crying. I was staying with him at the time, due to his illness. I sat on the bed next to him and told him about the unsettling dream. In his calm, loving, dad voice, he told me that it was time to start preparing myself with his declining health and impending death. I just cried in his arms and told him how much I loved him. He knew I was in denial about how sick he was and gently gave me permission to accept it.

Another Take-Away of my Dream

This dream also highlighted the fact that I was the primary child out of five siblings, helping dad out during his illness. I heard many excuses why my sisters and brothers couldn't help me. The excuses I heard the most were: "I'm married with kids and just don't have the time," "Your single, so you have more time on your hands." The number one excuse I heard during those difficult days always involved using the spouse as the scapegoat.

"The Three Musketeers"  Graduation from University of Wisconsin-Stout
"The Three Musketeers" Graduation from University of Wisconsin-Stout | Source

Healing the Adult Child's Grieving Heart

Do you learn from your dreams

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© 2011 Linda Rogers

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Comments 70 comments

carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

Sorry to read about your father Minnetonka Twin. It's tough enough caring for a loved one, especially when you don't have any help. God bless you.


acaetnna profile image

acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

This is a great hub. Dreams can really predict an event or outcome. You expressed a subject that some of us cannot bear to think about, in a very caring and emotional way. Beautiful and voted up.


Twilight Lawns profile image

Twilight Lawns 5 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

My dreams are no longer prophetic, although they were when I was a child... too much so. My dreams now re just an accumulation of events that have worried me during the day. or involve someone who was a very graping and selfish person in my life. No more prophesies.


epigramman profile image

epigramman 5 years ago

.....well it's always a dream come true to be able to come here and read the words of a great writer.

And these particular words have extra meaning because of the love and the family history which inspired it.

I dream all of the time (especially of pretty girls like you) - it's called REM sleep or deep sleep - and one dream I had was about my dad AFTER he died - and in this dream he came out of the hospital walking towards me and we gave each other the most beautiful embrace of all time!!!! So yes I appreciate a story/dream like this - better to have loved, they say, than not to have loved at all!


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

I also keep a dream journal and use dream interpretation for enjoyment, personal growth and to gain clarity on important issues in my life.

The description of your dream about your Dad's death was so vivid, but it was your ability to use the dream to deeply communicate with your Dad while he was still alive that really touched my heart. How poignantly beautiful it was that he was able to help you face his impending death in such a wise and loving way. Thanks so much for sharing this. It really touched my heart and I'm voting it up, useful, beautiful and awesome.


b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

Well you were the one that was not feeling the guilt of not helping when your Dad died...You were the one that was there for him...that was your reward. Wonderful Hub.


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 5 years ago from Massachusetts

Hi Minnetonka Twin, this was a very interesting hub and though dreams can be very strange sometimes maybe your dream was to help you to say the things you needed to say to your dad before he died, and to for him to say what he need to say has well.

Great hub thumbs up !!!


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

I understand this dream and had one similar except I did not get to discuss mine with Dad, he needed a leg amputation and they decided his heart wouldn't allow it so they gave him morphine to kill him and no food and he hung on for two weeks at least and none of my siblings would give me a ride to go see him, being out of state and I was going so crazy, but in a dream I went into his hospital room; crawled into his bed and arms and we comforted each other telepathically, in real life of course he could not speak but I don't think that ever entered my mind until after the dream and I slept there in his arms all night I am sure and just before waking the next morning I was looking at an ambulance like vehicle all by itself at the back of the hospital and I knew that was where they would take Dad and he was gone, which in fact he was. Nothing could ever convince me God did not allow us to comfort each other in his last hours on earth.


Fossillady profile image

Fossillady 5 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

Thank you for sharing. It is helpful for those of us who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Thank you.


justom profile image

justom 5 years ago from 41042

Great hub, I do wish I could see the photo a bit better though. Peace!! Tom


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Carrie-Thanks for reading the dream. Many years have gone by since his death (13) but I still miss him soo much. This dream got dad and I talking about how I was gonna handle him leaving me. We were soo close and he knew I was gonna struggle.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks so much acaetnna. Dreams have always helped me throughout my life. This particular dream really helped dad and I start to talk about his declining health and reality that he may not be around much longer. Ouch! it hurt but he knew we needed to talk about it. Thank goodness my subconscious spoke to me through my dreams to help prepare me.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Twilight Lawns-Yae to no more prophesies. I know how stressful it can be. I know this dream about dad was my subconscious preparing me for one of the toughest losses of my life. Dad and I were joined at the hip. Thankfully I got through it but I still miss him so.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Oh Colin, that is so beautiful that you and dad hugged in a dream. I bet you were feeling so happy when you woke up. Loss is hard but like you said, it's better to love those in our lives instead of fearing connection because we all die some day. You are so dear to me and I thank you for reading my dream. Sweet Dreams my friend:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thank you so much HappyBoomerNurse for your very kind words. I know, isn't my dad so beautiful for taking that opportunity to talk with me about his health. He always thought about what was best for me and knew he needed have a father/daughter talk. I miss him so much but he is always in my heart. God Bless you for your touching words to me:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

You are sooo wise b.Malin-The other sibs do have guilt that they didn't share the memories that I shared. It was a GIFT to be with dad during his last days. I was tired and exhausted but I wouldn't change it for the world. After dad died, I did have quite a talk with my siblings about what I thought about it. They heard me loud and clear.


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

yes it was the subconsious processing all your stresses and coming out with a dream putting them together and bringing them to the surface.

i am very sorry for the loss and completely empathise with you but it was a lesson both from your subconcious as well as ur dad to "keep moving on- keep the show going"i have always believed that our responsibilities towards "life" are much more that ours for what is gone and hence we must live on.

also a measure of love for anyone is not how much you miss him- since the missing is for ones own sense of loss , who was to go has already gone- but by how much you served and helped him when alive. I am proud of you friend for having put your life on hold to take care of him.GOD BLESS


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 5 years ago from East Coast, United States

I think that with death of a love one, we think, deep down, that somehow we can save them. You never really grow up until you lose your father and in your dream, you had grown up, taking care of your father, carrying him as he had so often carried you. I had a dream after my dear Daddy died. We were in a huge old hotel, kind of decrepit, but in an attractive Andrew Wyeth painting kind of way, with an ocean breeze and filmy curtains blowing. He liked his room, but I hated to leave him. It's become almost like a real memory. It's so hard to lose your dad.


akirchner profile image

akirchner 5 years ago from Central Oregon

I totally believe in dreams. I've actually worked out some computer problems - ridiculous I know - in my dreams...or a personal problem or figured out how to do something. I've also gotten great inspirational ideas in my dreams and worked out some personal problems. Everyone makes fun of me because they say I can't even relax when I dream and I'm the ultimate multitasker...oh well - if it works for ya, I say do it! Great piece!


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Kashmir. Yes, this dream helped dad and I prepare emotionally to say goodbye. At the time dad said this to me, the emotional part of me almost felt like he was abandoning me but I knew he did it out of Love. He was such a great and loving dad and always thinking of what was best. OUCH, it was still hard to hear.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Oh Dear Pollyanna-Your dad knew how you were hurting and wanting to see him. What a special gift that you were given the dream so you could be together for the last time. I have major goosebumps. Thanks for sharing this with me my friend:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Fossillady-I feel like hubpages is such a great community where we can all learn from eachother's experiences. I am glad my dream helped you in some way. Dreams have always been a big part of my life's journey by helping me see things I need to see.

God Bless:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi justom-I'll see if I can fix the photo a bit. Thanks for the feedback and for reading my story:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

neeleshkulkarni-God Bless you for your warm words of wisdom in your comments.

I am the one that was blessed by taking care of my father and noone can ever take that time away from dad and I. Once time passed by, I know my siblings saw the error in their ways. Not just that they were being selfish but they missed out spending the last days with him that I will Treasure always.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Delores, I love your perspective on what my dream was saying. That I was growing up and taking care of dad as he did me. Great wisdom on this and I thank you for sharing this gift with me. Yes, losing my dad made me grow up so much. I had lost mom at nine and dad at 35. Once dad died, I knew I had to make it on my own, mentally,spiritually and financially. No more dad to lean on. It was a hard time but eventually I got through it. You really realize how much you count on your parents once their gone. I totally understand how hard that dream of yours was. You didn't want to let him go yet you know you have to. Loss is so hard.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

akirchner-I'm sitting here laughing out loud at a car dealership and everyone's looking at me. That really hit my funny bone that you even multi-task in your dreams. I get alot accomplished in my dreams too. Many times I have gotten an answer to a financial issue and the next day,get it taken care of.


justom profile image

justom 5 years ago from 41042

Beautiful hub, what a great photo. You got it girl! Peace!! Tom


mulberry1 profile image

mulberry1 5 years ago

I agree dreams can help you cope with things and they generally reflect what's going on in life, although some times only in a rather abstract way. It's good that you were able to help your dad as much as you did, I think it is a far better feeling after the fact that you were there and involved. I can't imagine how it would feel if you had been as disengaged as your siblings. I always wonder if the children of these "disengaged" adult children learn about how to treat their (future) elderly parents from the example being set.


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 5 years ago from Southern California, USA

I often have dreams that help me figure out things too. Sorry for your loss as I know you were very close to your dad, and took care of him. I am also single, and find it irritating when people imply it is easier for me to do something just because of my status. What is that supposed to mean? Honestly we all have the same amount of time, and we all decide how we want to spend it.


fibo777 profile image

fibo777 5 years ago

Thanks for sharing the painful story. Unfortunately death comes to all of us one day. It is pretty difficult to accept as we want our dear ones to live. We want to live ourselves forever. I believe we will. Life continues when our physical heart stops. It is still very painful to face death. The topic awakens us from our daily routine and makes us think why we live here on earth and how we should live. It also raises very many other questions as the origin of evil, good and etc. We have to think on these lines. And sometimes dreams help us to do that. Thanks again. May God Almighty be with you. Vytas.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks so much justom:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Mulberry-Taking care of dad before he died was an amazing gift. Even if I'd been married and had kids, I still would've been there because that's what our parents deserve after all they do for us. Parents are such a blessing in our life and to lose them is so tough. I am so glad the dream got me preparing for it. Thanks for reading:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi SweetiePie-I know, it's so annoying isn't it. It's like people think because we are single that we don't matter as much and have all the time in the world. It felt good to talk to my sibs after dad died. I really let them see the error of their ways. I felt it was important to share what I thought of there absence.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks for your loving words fibo. I do believe that this physical plain is just the first part of our lives and we live on in God's kingdom after death. Your right that it's still part of being human to fear it and want our loved ones to stay with us as long as possible. I really always worried about how I would move on after dad's death. It was tough for a couple years but I knew he was in a better place. My memories of him are always with me. God Bless:)


Genna East profile image

Genna East 5 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

This was a beautiful hub and touched my heart. Iknow exactly how you feel. Voted up and beautiful.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Oh yes, I had similar dreams and do believe there are more in dreams than we realize. That is a beautiful picture of you three musketeers. Thanks for sharing MT. I feel like part of your family :))


kathryn1000 profile image

kathryn1000 5 years ago from London

I am amazed at the detail of your dream.I am glad you were able to care for him,Great lady you are!


twentyfive profile image

twentyfive 5 years ago

That's so touching. Sorry to hear bout your dad..Dreams are ways to tell us somethings. Your dad is closer than a dream even if he's not there anymore. God bless. :)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks so much Genna. I appreciate you voting:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

OOHH, you are part of my family:)and so sweetThanks so much for your kind words Martie. HUGS


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks Kathryn-Dad was such a gift and I was honored to be with him on his last days. Now that I am without parents, I watch how many people take them for granted and I just want them to know they are gems and to take in every moment they have with them.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks for your kind words twentyfive. I do know dad is still with me in spirit. God Bless:)


imranhaider 5 years ago

greats discussion


Mrs. J. B. profile image

Mrs. J. B. 5 years ago from Southern California

What an amazing story. It made me cry. I loved it.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thx imranhaider:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thank you so much J.B.-That means a lot to me:) I know you know what it's like to lose a parent.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US

Thank you twin, I just know it was somehow real, that Dad knew it too and it comforted him. Speaking of goosebumps I had Dad's car but it needed something done so my son and his wife took us and when we got back there was a heart balloon up against the car, not a thing to keep it from blowing away and it said I love you. It was surprising to us all but it really scared my daughter-in-law. I still have it although it has gone flat, whether he got it there or not.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

You keep giving me goosebumps Polly. That is so beautiful. I would have kept the balloon too. Great reminder that our loved ones are still around us.


Millenium profile image

Millenium 5 years ago

You give me goosebumps...I am also one of 5 and our father passed away from cancer so your story really, really, brings back memories of when father was ill. Thanks for sharing your story with us.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 5 years ago from the South

I'm wiping the tears away as I read this. I've lost both my parents (one in '05 and the other in'07) and it is such a hard time and so hard to accept. I also totally identify with being the one who took care of both of them until the end. Somehow it always comes down to that one person, doesn't it? Anyway, a very touching hub.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

You are so welcome Millenium. Losing a parent is so hard, isn't it? and seeing them so ill is so painful. I thank God I could be there for my father in his last days. Thanks so much for reading my story:)


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

I am sorry to hear you are also parentless. Not having parents is so hard and I go nuts when I hear people bad mouthing parents. I just want to tell them that they will be gone some day and you will miss them soo much it hurts. Thanks so much for reading my story:)


theseus profile image

theseus 5 years ago from philippines

This is a great hub MT, thank you for sharing such a personal experience to us.

Being the eldest of three myself, I know how big a responsibility it is that we carry on our shoulders.

I'm sure that your dad is so proud of his eldest.I am also sure that he is in a better place now, so,be happy.I wish you well. God bless.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

What a beautiful hub. Thank you for letting us read such a heartfelt piece. I do believe in dreams and they have prepared me and helped me have more faith. God Bless you. I am so sorry for the loss of your Father.

Sunnie


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi theseus and thanks so much for reading my story. I am actually the youngest of five. Well, I'm a twin, so sis and I are the youngest. I became the one that took care of dad because not only did I love him so but I was the single one with no kids. I guess that meant I didn't have a life. I do thank God for the time we spent together those last days.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi Sunnie and thanks for your kind words. Dad was so important to me, especially after losing mom in 4th grade. We became very close. Aren't dreams amazing? They can really help you work through things in life. P.S.-I love your uplifting name here on HubPages. It makes me smile:)


stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Your dad received so much love from you. He must have went to Heaven feeling relatively content. You gave him so much, and he will be in your heart forever. God Bless You Precious heart.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Hi stars. That is something I do know, that dad knew how much I loved and admired him. He was everything to me. I feel so blessed to have been with him in good days and in his sick days.


cheerfulnuts profile image

cheerfulnuts 5 years ago from Manila, Philippines

I'm sorry about your dad. At least you were there for him when he needed you. He must have felt very blessed too to have you as his daughter.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks for your warm words here, cheerfulnuts. Yes, dad and I were super close. He felt blessed to have me and I felt so blessed to have him. I am glad I was there for him at the end.


spotlight19 profile image

spotlight19 5 years ago from California

Hello Minnetonka twin your article was really moving I really like liked how you stood up for your dad and was there for him when he needed you which is something that not a lot of sons and daughters do for their parents when they grow up. Im soorry about your dad but at the same time your dream helped you learn how to face your fathers death with courage and just know that he is in a better place and that he was very proud of having a great daughter like you.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks spotlight for your loving words. I do believe he was proud of me and knew how much I loved him which really helped my grief. I miss him sooo much...I am also comforted knowing dad is with his son and his wife in heaven. Some day we'll all be back together:) God Bless you for coming by:)


ConspireToInspire profile image

ConspireToInspire 5 years ago

Wow...words seem to be unable to convey the feelings that came across my mind as I read this. It is so true though, that dreams teach, and we learn from them. They prepare us. Dreams have always confused me, and I ponder their origin, why they exist. Perhaps this is why they exist, to teach us and prepare us for what we know is inevitable. I have often thought back on a dream while in a sticky or painful situation. I feel insensitive bringing up my endless curiosity on the universe, and I must say I am sorry for your loss, and i empathize.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Conspire-No, your not being insensitive. This hub is about not just the loss of dad but how dreams affect us. I learn so much from my nightly dreams and it's amazing how many of them direct me to what I need to do about something going on in my life. Glad I have met another big dreamer. I have dreamed all my life, at least 15 dreams and I usually remember a few of them. This is why, when I went to get my Master's degree in Psychology, I took dream analysis. It's fun to use what I've learned in school about my own dreams.


powerofknowledge1 profile image

powerofknowledge1 5 years ago

Great hub! Its very touching.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota Author

Thanks so much powerofknowledge, I appreciate it:)


stessily 4 years ago

Minnetonka Twin, It seems to be a habit in a lot of families to expect a certain sibling, usually single, to be overloaded with responsibilities of care, especially for an ailing or elderly parent. That outlook mystifies me so I cast it aside in order not to follow those threads any further down an ugly road which I have no hope of resurfacing.

Your dream was quite a gift, and I see in your comments that dreams have been there for you. I think that there is much in dreams for us, if only we make the time to learn their language. That's the rub, though, making and finding the time. Once time is carved out, though, for anything worthwhile, then benefits ensue.

Your father was fortunate that you cared for him. Our parents not only teach us how to live, but also how to die.

Thank you for sharing this powerful, touching experience.

Kind regards, Stessily


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Wow Stessily-I have goosebumps after reading your beautiful comment. You really got me when you said that our parents not only teach us to 'live' but also 'die'. I had never really thought of that but it's true. I also appreciate that you talked about the whole single person being expected to care for a sick parent. Again, to me it was a gift but some breaks would have helped immensely as I think I was delirious at certain points because of lack of sleep. Looking back though, I see that dad planned so much of how things went down. Bless you for coming by and giving so much time to share your thoughts of my hub. It means a lot to me.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, it sounds like your mind worked out how you felt, even though your concsious mind refused to do that. laying it out like that showed that however hard it was or was going to be, you could cope, such a sad story, I remember having a similar dream about my dad, even though he wasn't 'known' ill, he had parkinsons, I knew a few weeks before through a dream and this made me be there more than I would have been able too, it didn't stop him going, but he knew I was there, nell


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 4 years ago from Minnesota Author

Nell-What a gift you had in that dream. It's amazing how our minds work things out in our dreams that guide us in our waking life. My dream about dad was really two-fold. Dealing with letting go and accepting his finality and the anger I held onto about my siblings not helping out much. The memory of telling my dad about my dream is something I will always hold onto. Thanks for stopping by Nell. It always makes my day to see you.

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