The First Day of the Rest Of Your Life

“Probably no one alive hasn’t at one time or another brooded over the possibility of going back to an earlier, ideal age in his or her existence and living a different kind of life.” Hal Boyle

I found the key to my safety deposit box today. I could not even have imagined that I would need one, yet here I was pulling it out from the pocket where it had been hiding for a few years now. I tried writing about this years ago. I had it all. I was brilliant (or so I thought), with an IQ of 140 that I was told was the beginning of the genius level. I was getting ready to start law School at the age of 18. He waltzed into my life and stole it gently with the soft touch of wings like a butterfly. I remember the first time that I saw him. I was attending a special performance at the Church I attended. He was the special performance with the troupe he was traveling with. At the end I sat down to play the organ, live entertainment…I was the organist after all. I remember him telling me that he listened and watched me play, but that he was just too hungry to come over and talk. It was a potluck dinner afterwards.

The next time that I saw him was at school. I was one of the prefects in charge of assembly, and so I was keeping order of the lines. “Prefect” was just a fancy term for the really smart students in the school, who were given special duties being of a certain caliber of student. We exchanged brief glances, but it was not until that weekend that we got a chance to finally “meet.” My youth group happened to be camping at the same location as his troupe. I was up late studying, which blew his chance to talk to me. I got up really early the next morning to go for my ritualistic run, coming back really sweaty and meeting him and some others on the front steps of the hall, getting ready for breakfast. He mumbled some really cute words to the effect that I was out getting my exercise. I hastily said, “yes” and rushed to grab a shower.

Later that day after we finally met, we exchanged addresses and phone numbers, and promises to stay in touch. The rest as they say is history.

It seems or so people say, the moment we are born our fate is already etched
on to our foreheads. Many times I wished for mine to have been a different one.
In him I had always seen the good. He had made me love him, and love him I did, almost blindly. I had let him into my life and my heart;
but that world has since been torn apart.
I had allowed myself to fall hook, line and sinker.

Minutes turn into hours, hours into days. It seemed my judgment had been flawed?
Should I have been brushing aside those warnings floating inside my head saying, “You’re heading for a heart-break?” Was I falling for a wolf in a sheep’s clothing? I was even questioned by others if I was making the right decision.
I had just celebrated my 16^th birthday, had graduated high school, and was getting ready to start Sixth Form where I would study Law, English Literature, History and Art. I remembered my Dad sitting me down and telling me that I should never become reliant on any man…that I should get my college degree so that I could work and maintain myself, so that if something were to happen, I would be able to take care of myself. Those words were to come back and be words of comfort for me years later.

My story goes far back to dating days and ends with me being in a totally different time zone and reality. When I married, the man of my dreams died. The courtly man who wooed me with such soft, sweet words vanished. In place was the man we all know as Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde, a monster.

If you could go back to a more perfect, idyllic life, what part of your life would you choose to relive? Would it be the days before your marriage went downhill? Would it be before you married, and maybe wondered if you should get married at all? Would it be before you were diagnosed with an illness that your doctor said you will have to live with for the rest of your life?

So many of us would love to relive the better parts of our lives. I know I would, but we need to realize that even though our health status and life circumstances might have changed somewhat, we still can create memories we can look back on, and smile. We can choose to make our precious memories, our good times. It is up to each of us.

No matter what the circumstances, we still have the ability to go on, to move forward and create the best life possible for the rest of our lives.

Don't start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday.

Don't hide in silence.

Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Create good memories.

Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind
and sometimes against it -
but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.