The Great Doughnut War -part one
One against Nine
Me Against Them
This evening, I walked into the kitchen and ran headlong into the biggest box of doughnuts, I had ever seen. There were nine of them left. And they were spread out in a large box with a clear lid. I could see them all. Six of them were glazed and three were (gulp!) chocolate frosted with pink swirls.
Needless to say I had a Homer Simpson moment and, “Doh!!!!!!” burst forth from my inner being.
(For those that are not part of my online support group) I am trying to get my weight under control by keeping track of what I eat, exercise, and the accountability that online support gives me. My buddies at buddyslim.com are a real godsend. I feel like I can make a permanent change. But I know it will be an ongoing struggle.
Bach to the doughnuts: I stared at them for a moment and then before I left, I noticed some of them were now smiling. The one in the upper right-hand corner spoke to me. “We’ve heard about you!”
“I have heard about you too!” I responded.
“W-w-w-what are going to do with us?” the lovely round sweet treat actually seemed afraid.
“Why nothing. I am too close to my daily limit of calories.” I assured it.
I have never heard nine doughnuts all laughing at once before, and it was quite an annoying sight to behold. “Why do you all think that is so funny?” I inquired.
“There is no way that you will go through the night without eating at least one of us.” A glazed treat announced.
“And what makes you so certain?” I inquired.
“Because we are doughnuts and you are the man that cannot resist us. You have to eat us. It is in your makeup!” a chocolate one declared.
“Sorry, not this time, doughnuts. I may eat one of you in the morning, with coffee, but not tonight.” I announced.
Suddenly the kitchen roared with laughter as the doughnuts were beside themselves with amusement.
“What’s going on in there?” my wife asked.
“I uh um, I just dropped a plate…nothing going on in here.” I replied.
She came into the kitchen and looked at me in amazement. “Are you talking to those doughnuts?” she asked.
“Of course I am. They are mad because I won’t eat any of them tonight,” I told her.
“You know, if I thought it would do any good, I’d have them take you in and examined for 48 hours.” She remarked.
“But it wouldn’t do a bit of good would it?” I proclaimed.
“Not a bit,” she agreed, “just turn out the light when you are through!”
“Sure thing,” I responded.
“Way to go you guys,” I yelled (in hushed tones).
“I’ll tell you what, doughnut king, if you go through the night without eating one of us, we will not bother you for a week.” a doughnut barked.
“Make it a month and you have a deal,” I demanded.
They all huddled together and then one of the glazed ones said, “OK, you have a deal.”
“OK, I will see ONE of you in the morning with my coffee.” I announced.
Join us tomorrow for part 2 of The Great Doughnut War
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