Personal Thoughts on Bipolar Disorder (Plus: Ideas for the Bipolar Soul)
I wish people could understand that bipolar disorder can not always be understood. I do not always have control over some of these racing thoughts and ideas that I wish I had. (But I'm trying to get there and that is what is truly important.)
Sometimes, I have very high energy and desire to tell people some type of grand plans I have...but the same thing happens over and over. People shoot my ideas down. People offer me advice and people get all upset over the things I say. Believe me, I am not crazy! (Or maybe I am...HA HA!)
Yes, I know I should watch what I share...but it always leaks out sometime. Somewhere.
This makes it extremely difficult to go to people I know personally. That is why I like to see a therapist because I have literally thought of all the people I know and not a single one of them I want to talk to for the simple fact that I don't want a response from them on personal topics. I just need someone to share my manic ideas with and maybe add in, "That's totally awesome." or "Damn, that's sucks." What's great about therapy; however, is that the therapist can actually help you organize your ideas and put your goals into reasonable action.
I have very BIG dreams and aspirations. I am a composer and songwriter and wish to pursue that on the professional level more and more every day. But I have other stuff...other plans I don't share with very many people...except for those people who will fuel my confidence. You see, I will do just about anything to have a realization of my dreams...it's almost an obsession. But I am learning to balance. Some of the ideas I have die off really quickly. I honestly just want someone to support my ideas when I have them because you have no idea how convinced I am that those thoughts are brilliant, revolutionary, or even genius. (Especially during a manic!)
But then I crash...and BAM! I loose all interest in everything. Some if not all of those brilliant ideas look really stupid the next day. That is why I have multiple notebooks, multiple blogs, and multiple names all over the place. Everything is being constantly updated or deleted. Published, unpublished, and republished again.
I have a method to my madness and it works for me but SOMETIMES...
I drop out of school.
I quit writing music for a year and think I may never be able to write another note again.
I delete my Facebook.
I go on "special missions".
I have a hard time holding down a 9-5 job.
Medication works to a certain extent. I take lithium and it does performs wonders. I do still struggle though, especially with sleep. I try to take things a day at a time and realize the managing bipolar disorder is a process.
My Bipolar Parallel to the Queen of Pop!
Ideas for the Bipolar Soul:
- Get Plenty of Sleep
- Take Your Medications On Time Everyday
- Don't Stop Taking Your Medications (Even if you feel better...)
- Exercise / Do Yoga
- Listen to Your Favorite Music
- Go To All Your Appointments
- Consider Joining a Support Group (NAMI has local groups)
- Consider Getting a Talk Therapist
- Study Your Illness, Stay Informed
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