Are men really so naïve?

What is it with men?

It all started when my aged retainer, aka my husband, admired Felicity Kendal. For those of you who don't know her she is a British actress, a star of an iconic and much loved sitcom of the 1970s and who, it seems, is wearing rather well.

Go on, I bet you all Google her now ... or you could just skip to the video of her below.

Despite being 64, she flung her arms (not a trace of Bingo wings) around a young dancing partner and entered the Strictly Come Dancing programme on British television. Well, chapeau off! She certainly carried it off wonderfully and very flexibly. My joints ached just watching.

The best of the older gals.

Cher at 61 ... what a doll!
Cher at 61 ... what a doll! | Source
Sophia at 75 ... I had some boots like that ... and some legs like that forty years ago. But could this pose be classed as just a leetle tacky at 75?
Sophia at 75 ... I had some boots like that ... and some legs like that forty years ago. But could this pose be classed as just a leetle tacky at 75? | Source
Darling Dolly ... a woman with a sense of humour about herself.
Darling Dolly ... a woman with a sense of humour about herself. | Source

Jealous? Moi?

Are you kidding? C'mon, of course I'm jealous. I'm 64 and I look like something the cat threw up so you're darn right I'm jealous.

But what makes me madder than a bag of frogs is that men seem so naïve about what it takes to look like that.

I don't need some thoughtless goon murmuring appreciatively about how wonderful Felicity Kendal looks for her age when it's obvious he has no idea of what it costs to keep looking that good these days.

I'm here to tell you that it takes a lot more than the odd fiver I get to guiltily spend on myself. How can us ordinary bods compete?

The cost of looking good in later life.

Okay, it seems likely that Felicity may not have been under the knife. Bless her, this is a very British actressy thing to do and only serves to make her even more admirable.

It is also smart thinking as it enables her to get those hard-come-by character parts and so become a well-respected 'actor' rather than just a star whose career wanes with their looks.

But let's face it it must be easy to stay looking young if you have the money to keep a plastic surgeon on stand-by to constantly shore up the collapses. The only downside to this is that you have to keep at it.

And then there is the incongruity angle. No-one likes the thought of enhanced breasts standing perkily proud over folds of the rest of the over-tanned, drooping flesh that is impossible to enhance or correct..

Cripes, I wish I hadn't just thought of that. I've probably scarred you all for the rest of your lives. If you are men reading this, tough! If you are women, sorry!

Face cream claims ... true or false?

So if we ignore the expense of surgery and the more minor procedures such as botox injections and the duck-billed platypus pout from lip-filling goo, what are we left with?

I'll tell you. We are left with the highly-expensive face creams that make more and more extravagant claims.

Who knows, some of them might even actually do what they say on the pot. Again though, they are only for the well-off.

I have a fit if I have to spend more than five pounds for a face cream. I feel bad about spending even that when the electricity bill is outstanding and we need food but if I didn't my face would fall off completely and my expression would be more wizened than ever.

So, there is no getting away from it, maintaining your looks into old age is expensive for women.To quote Dolly Parton 'You'd be surprised at how much it costs to look this cheap'.

To look classy, I expect, is even more expensive.

The loyalty of women when their men get old.

Men are more fortunate when they get old as women are not nearly as shallow. They love their men despite the sagging stomach, the bald patch and the face full of wrinkles. A great many men even look much better when they are older, damn them!

But for men, in their unacknowledged vanity that they deserve a young-looking woman who is desired by other men, women are supposed to look eternally young and nubile and most of us are dumb enough fall for it. It is our natural, but possibly subservient, desire to oblige.

It is this uneasy wish to please that the cosmetic companies depend on, this is the fact they exploit.

Should women try to retain their looks at all costs?

See results without voting

A horrible warning ...

So, as there is no way that I can compete with Felicity Kendal et al, I will just have to act as a horrible warning about ageing ... or think of another strategy.

I could become philosophical and remind myself that my husband would be totally, and I hope brutally, scorned by these beauties. This would indeed make me feel much better.

Or I could absent myself from the room when they are disporting themselves so shamelessly.

Or I could send him out to work so that I can take the money to spend on beautifying myself (believe me, I've known women who do that).

Or I could just kill him and have done with the aggravation.

More by this Author


Comments 24 comments

Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 5 years ago from Euroland

Wow, that Felicity Kendal looks better than she did in the Good Life. Mind you I think our telly was in black and white back then.

Seriously I am not a great fan of plastic women. Coincidentally, they are not great fans of me either.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Thanks for this Mark ... you may go now!

Seriously - I appreciate the feedback ... sad isn't it?


Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 5 years ago from Euroland

Sorry Angie, took me a while to check back. No it's not sad - it's hard trying to get noticed, get hits, get read. And it's a shame too when you have good content, as you do, and deserve an audience.

I'm finding my way too, or trying to.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Bless you, Mark for the thoughtful reply ...


Casey White profile image

Casey White 5 years ago from United States

Funny stuff. Voted you UP!!


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Cheers, Casey! Thanks for the support : )


Literary Geisha profile image

Literary Geisha 5 years ago from Philippines

bravo Angie, great rant! i totally enjoyed all of it. :D


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Cheers, Geisha ... it was a dirty job but someone had to say it ; )))) it was long overdue ...


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

Great stuff. It doesn't seem fair that us men-folk look so incredible as we age, while you women go into emergency mode to shore up what you can as if your renovating an old house in a panic.

I'm just being an ass. Didn't really mean it. You ladies are lovely. Age = experience = more fun.

As Billy Joel said, "Don't go changin'...."


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Thank you for your diplomacy, Stanley. Good tunes and old fiddles come to mind ... I will now destroy the wax effigy I was making of you ...

Bless!


Stan Fletcher profile image

Stan Fletcher 5 years ago from Nashville, TN

I used the wrong 'your'. You should have really given it to me for that faux pas. Too late now.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Stan, far be it from me to point out your shortcomings ... on second thoughts let's not go there. I know what you're like - you'll make a hub out of that.


bobsimpson profile image

bobsimpson 5 years ago from Largo Florida

She was dancing to "True Colors". It was very authentic with her beige botox, red collagen lips, orange faux tan, blue varicose veins, and brown age spots.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Never looked at it that way, Bob ... I would love to say you are my hero but that would be being a bitch so I'll stick with 'couldn't possibly comment'.


Motown2Chitown 5 years ago

Angie, I'm about to hit the dark side of my 30's - turning 36 in June, and I feel this way sometimes. What the heck do I have to look forward to, I wonder!? But, Bob said it right! In the end, I'd rather be authentic. Beauty may come and go, as does youth, but I'd like to think that underneath it all, the REAL remains. And real may not be beautiful when held up to society's cosmetic standards, but it certainly is beautiful to me. GREAT HUB!


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Wise words indeed, Motown ... and if it helps I loved my 30's, 40's and 50's ... I had a whole load of fun and adventure. It's just now in my 60's, as life speeds by ever faster, that I need to learn to adjust to my 'crone' stage : )

Many thanks for your kind message ...


Monica 5 years ago

You are so right Angie. Men really want their women to look beautiful. Initially I used to fume when my husband wathched the telly and told me how beautiful the women were. I am quite good-looking myself (blush) and thankfully not too different from the bride standing next to my husband in our wedding photograph -taken in October 2006- but he just doesn't care anymore. He has attained me now so he doesn't care. The actresses on T.V. have an aura of unattainability around them (at least to our men)so they are more alluring.

I'll share a secret with you. The next time your husband tells you that one of the actresses on T.V. is beautiful tell him that you are willing to divorce him if he wants to propose marriage to her right away. Also tell him that he has a very slim chance of being accepted. And just for a final heaping of coals over his head admire a handsome actor the next time you see him on T.V. My husband's jaw dropped when I gushed over Matt Damon.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Thanks for your support, Monica ... and don't think I haven't tried all your recommendations. My beloved realises he doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of even an old beauty, however well preserved, looking twice at him. And he just laughs if I retaliate by drooling over any other male. Sad but true ... so I just need to learn to ignore him. I shall probably just succeed when we drop off the twig ...lol.


BobbiRant profile image

BobbiRant 5 years ago from New York

I love guys who have big beer bellies thinking They will get some larger than life pinup girl. Do Those guys have full length mirrors? Great hub.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Precisely, Bobbi! This is one of my pet giggles ... thanks for your kind comments.


Thatguypk profile image

Thatguypk 5 years ago

Here's why you have nothing to worry about, Angie.

Young glam-type chicks are like flashy sports cars. They will always turn heads, they tend to make a lot of noise, and most guys imagine how cool it would be to own one, but the truth is, the same flashy sports cars are much more expensive to get, much more expensive to maintain, invariably over-priced, much faster than most middle aged men can cope with, they tend to lose their lustre quickly, and when the next new model comes along, they're hard to get rid of.

Give me a good old reliable Volvo like yourself anyday!!


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

Aw, gee pk, that's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me ... and I'm extra safe too! Just a pity about the boxy shape ... : )


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

Some women age better than others but yes, most celebrities have had work done.

I admire your husband for at least liking women close to his own age instead of being a dirty old man panting after 20 year old girls.


Angie Jardine profile image

Angie Jardine 5 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ... Author

My husband is an absolute sweetie but it must be said he just adores all women ... except the terribly overweight. I suppose I should just be glad he has all the right drives still in tact ...

Thanks for reading the hub, Pamela.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working