The Real List of Buckets.

A bucket list or in my badly worded sense, a list of buckets, is a list which aims at allowing the creator to do things that are vaguely interesting in their boring "life" before they kick the metaphorical bucket. Things that, they think, will give them some form of personal satisfaction in life after years of being a boring old fool.
Naturally the list is filled with many items that everyone thinks will make their lives complete, such as visiting the Eiffel Tower or eating dinner at a posh restaurant.

Naturally though, these things aren't for everyone, some people would prefer something a little more...Exciting.

Get on the news.

This is a good one. What better way to fool yourself into thinking your life mattered than to be shown as a popular and cool person standing behind a news anchor making faces and cursing. That's not the only way on though, but how you get on the news is up to you. Just try and use a method mostly devoid of mercy killings and/or butchery.

This will do.
This will do. | Source

Steal an expensive car.

Most people in their final years may find it necessary to drive an exotic and expensive car to prove some form of self-worth. Maybe to highlight the fact that they have "Made it" in the world.
Well, instead of just driving this expensive piece of automotive luxury, steal it instead! Not only do you have the thrill of being able to drive the car, you also have the thrill of the chase at 150mph through crowded streets.
And I'm pretty sure your excuse of "I'm dying, leave me alone" will totally go down with the judge.

Like this, but with more showers
Like this, but with more showers | Source

Break out of prison

Because your excuse of "I'm dying, leave me alone" probably won't work, (Your judge is a dick) then you will in all likelihood end up in prison.
So it's now time to escape. For added difficulty and more chance to be the subject of a film try escaping using more mundane and brittle objects such as forks and band aids, rather than more guarantee able methods such as Mil Mi35 Gun-ship helicopters, high octane explosives and Chuck Norris.

There is no way you are walking away from a fight with this man.
There is no way you are walking away from a fight with this man. | Source

Become best friends with Chuck Norris

Because you were probably very lazy and didn't have 30 years to tunnel out of prison you probably enlisted the help of helicopters, explosives and Chuck Norris. Therefore why not try befriending Chuck Norris and becoming best friends, slowing being able to take over the world!
Just remember, the legends are true, so play your cards right and don't make him cry, or doubt his manliness.

Kick some ass (With Chuck Norris)

Along your long and rather boring life you may have come along a few people you clash with. Sometimes these people are just enough to make you so angry you spit feathers and throw your hat on the floor with a large amount of stamping. But no more! Now Chuck Norris is your best friend, seek revenge on all those that got in your way. Roundhouse-kick them into oblivion! And if that doesn't work, consider recycling the helicopters you used in your prison attempt to take over the world!

Because what's more unsettling than a massive abandoned hotel just...sat there
Because what's more unsettling than a massive abandoned hotel just...sat there | Source

Visit Pyongyang

Every person at some point wishes to visit a great, awe-inspiring city such as Paris, with the vague belief that if they do their life will have some form of spiritual meaning...Well, stir things up by visiting a city that is shrouded in secrecy and diplomatic craziness!
Of course no city would be a great city like a ridiculous landmark, so have 2! An abandoned hotel AND a giant archway.
Just don't bring Chuck Along, he will roundhouse the plane, and almost certainly cause numerous deaths.

Not pictured: Mangled corpse.
Not pictured: Mangled corpse. | Source

Swim with Lions

Now at this point people would be begging to swim with dolphins and cute water-based animals that totally won't cause serious harm to others, mainly you!
But hey where's the fun in that?! Why not go for something with a little more bite...
Such as a fully grown lion. Think about it, not only are your levels of adrenaline going to be waaay high, you're also going to get to say to everyone "Guess what, I swam with a Lion" which sounds totally more badass than "I swam with a dolphin"...
...That's if you survive, of course.

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Comments 4 comments

barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 4 years ago from Hemet, Ca

Ha ha - I love your list of buckets... and if you are really creative you could probably combine a few and knock out a few birds with the same stone. For instance if you steal that expensive car while in the exoctic city will going on a speed chase (which will get you on TV) and then mabye if you were bright you could have contacted Chuck Norris beforehand making him your best friend so he can help break you out of jail to go on your next excursion - swimming with lions (you, after all, will need Chuck Norris for this feat if you plan on surving!


Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 4 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

I was sort of hoping the publicity would have automatically made us best friends! Or at least friends!

You're right though! That IS a good way to hit a few birds with the same, massive, massive stone!

Good work Cap'n


John Sarkis profile image

John Sarkis 4 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

Hi Ryan-Palmsy, and what a great article this one is. We all have a bucket list of some sort of another. You make some really great points.

Hey, instead of stealing the car, just buy and get into debt which is probably the equivalent in trouble... ;-)

Take care

John


Ryan-Palmsy profile image

Ryan-Palmsy 4 years ago from In a Galaxy far, far away Author

Haha! It probably is! Thanks for commenting!

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