The Secret To A Great Life Is Acceptance.

Although Rosa Park refused to sit at the back of the bus, she was tired and did not understand why there should be segregation. She became a true hero in life. However, most people who do speak up and tell the truth experience a different outcome. They are deemed as not a team player. I often wonder why nobody in the office complained or made any suggestions. The answer is that it does not pay to point out what is already broken. I have been quick to point out the problems, but nobody cares. I took a look at my life and concluded that I had to change my attitude at work and in my personal life. I needed to be more accepting of myself and my environment.

Observation of Children

I watch my children play at the park. They laugh and run around. They are not bogged down by yesterday or fret about plans for tomorrow. Even when they fall, they cry but pick themselves up and play because they do not want to go home. Of course, there are exceptions such as my daughter falling on concrete block near some swings and needing seven stitches under her chin. We can learn from children.

The Wisdom of Nichiren Daishonin

Nichiren Diashonin is a 13th century monk who studied all of Shakyamuni's sutra and concluded that the Lotus Sutra was the most comprehensive of all sutras. If the name Shakyamuni is unfamiliar, this is another name for Siddartha Gautama, the founder of Buddhism. One of my favorite quotes from his article called "Eight Winds" is the following:

"Worthy persons deserve to be called so because they are not carried away by the eight winds: prosperity, decline, disgrace, honor, praise, censure, suffering, and pleasure. They are neither elated by prosperity nor grieved by decline."

The reason that I return to this quote often is that I think about the memorable points in my life, whether good or bad, and those circumstances made who I am. However, whether the favorable moments outnumbered the unfavorable ones, each of us should not stop working hard in life or polishing our lives. One Turkish proverb states that iron shines when used but rusts when not. So, instead of complaining about something not working, one should overcome those obstacles by working around it.

In another article called Happiness In This World, Nichiren Daishonin also stated "Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life, and continue chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. No matter what happens."

By chanting "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo," Nichiren Daishonin discovered that it enables people to put their lives in rhythm with the law of the universal and attain Buddhahood within this lifetime. "Nam" means respect; "Myoho" means the phenomenon of mystical law between us and the universe; "Renge" means lotus flower, but represents the law of cause of effect or karma; and "Kyo" means the voice of the sutra, and thus the rhythm from the chanting. For a more detailed definition, Soka Gakkai International has the full definition.

Examples of Great Figures in History Enduring Difficulty

Nelson Mendela was imprisoned between 1964 to 1990. He entered prison at around 46 of age and was finally released when he was 72. His reputation continued to grow when he was imprisoned, and he became the most prominent Black leader in South Africa in an effort to eradicate apartheid (racial segregation in South Africa). Not even prison stopped his resistance to apartheid. He never compromised his belief for his freedom.

Tsunesaburo Makiguchi (1871-1944) was a reformist educator, author and philosopher who founded the Soka Kyoiku Gakkai (the forerunner of the Soka Gakkai) in 1930. He was imprisoned for his views against the Japanese militarist regime and died in prison. He believed that the educational system in Japan had to change so that students can be independent thinkers who are happier and more creative. His peer and second President of Soka Gakkai Josei Todai continued Soka Gakkai mission once he was released from prison a few weeks before the end of World War II.

These two leaders forged forward in their beliefs but also accepted their situation of being imprisoned.

How Can I Be More Accepting and Less Judgmental in Life?

Acceptance is not synonymous with failure or defeat. True acceptance will give us strength to move forward in life because one should not be swayed by the positive experiences or by the negative experiences. I will just march forward, striving with all of my efforts and polishing my character. I came to this conclusion that I will not judge my day as being good or bad because when I do, I am imposing an expectation, an energy drainer. And I noticed that the days that I judge to be "good" do not outweigh those days that are deemed "bad." I am teaching my family to be less judgmental as well. I found that when we do not complain about another family member that there is true peace. (Of course, there are exceptions when one person's action does harm someone else.) When there is peace, there is less stress, and we allow our energy to rejuvenate so that we can all tackle the next day.

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Comments 30 comments

HunterGiftBaskets profile image

HunterGiftBaskets 5 years ago from Newcastle, Hunter Valley, Australia

Lovely - a delight to review - I'm at soberin100days blog.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Hi HunterGiftBaskets,

Thanks for you comment. I really appreciate it.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 5 years ago

Someone said that we can't control what happens to us but we can control how we react to it. This creates peace. I like your pursuit of peace and calm in life. John Maxwell said that "attitude is the paintbrush of life" and we are the artists who paint the canvas others see. Blessings.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Thanks, Teaches12345. I love the quote from John Maxwell. The right attitude in life is so important.


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 5 years ago from Stepping past clutter

formosangirl, I find this hub motivating. I recall chanting in a Buddhist monastery in New Mexico years back, and for one brief, memorable and monumental moment, being one with the sound. It was unbelievable. I have not repeated this experience, but thought of it often. Thank you. Voted up.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Thanks you, Storytellersrus. I hope you take it up again. I must have been seeking religion because I encountered 3 Buddhists and 2 Christians while I was living in Washington, D.C. between 1988 and 1995. I even had a roommate who practiced Buddhism, and I did not practice. Finally, it was a kind neighbor in an apartment next to mine who deflected all of my negativities at a very low point in my life. Surprisingly, her job allowed her to move from Washington, D.C. to southern CA, and I see her once per year. I think we will try harder to see each other.

Unlike a Buddhist monastery, it is given that each practicing member exists as a Buddhist with non-Buddhist and deals with every day problems. We all help each other with our goals and improve our karma. It is like family, and my group in West Los Angeles has a large group of Italians, other Europeans, Persians, and Asians as well as Causasian and African American. It feels very international, like the UN. There are a number of other introductory videos such as the one at http://www.sgi.org/resource-center/video-and-audio...

Further, unlike traditional Buddhism, Nichiren Daishonin found that Lotus Sutra is the highest sutra and you could achieve enlightenment by chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo. It is an empowering philosophy, which works for me because I like to question everything that I read and hear. I am not afraid that I have had erroneous approach to life. Life is all about trial and error and learning about oneself until one expires.


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 5 years ago from Stepping past clutter

Thank you for your encouragement! I have friends who attend a very personal Buddhist group on Thursdays. I am uncertain I am ready to give up my heritage. Bit I am intrigued. I have thought to go back to the Newexico monastery for a week or so. But is it an escape? Might it be more spiritually fulfilling to get involved in service?


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

I have a friend who loved his 6-week Vipassana Meditation (silent breathing) retreat. He was very much in tune with himself and his environment. He highly recommends it. However, I cannot take 6 weeks out of my busy life.

In SGI, there are meetings practically every week, if not every day. A personal group is a District meeting. The month peace chant is called Kosenrufu and is at a Community Center. The big ones are very impressive and full of energy. I recommend the bigger services first because I was frightened by a District meeting in the early 90's, one that my roommate took me to. However, since the early 90's, the organization became a lay organization and split from the monks because it felt that the monks were not following the philosophy that Buddhahood is attainable to all human beings and not just monks. The monks were amassing wealth and were selling services involving their status. The long story short is that the new meetings are not scary like the pre-split meetings. I wish you well with your journey. Everyone should come to peace with their religion and themselves. By branching out, you either embrace your heritage even more or you find that the new ideas work better. It's a very personal journey. My husband has been a friend and supporter of my religion for 17 years, but he remains a non-practicing Catholic to keep his heritage, too. The kids know the liturgy, and they will decide when they are older whether they will stay with my religion. They have their own journeys as well. You have a seeking mind, which is great and will keep you youthful.


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 5 years ago from Stepping past clutter

I see religion as a hallway with many doors. Some are opened more often, but all reveal God. Thanks for all your informative sharing.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

I like your hallway analogy. My wedding planner said to me as I was walking alone the perimeter of Yamashiro Restaurant inner courtyard where I was about to be married that I should think about all of the doors along the sides and know that I can escape through each one of those doors. She was trying to comfortable me since she saw that some tears were starting to ruin my makeup.


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 5 years ago from Stepping past clutter

I hope your marriage is open and accepting and not a hallway of closed doors! The image of a bride in tears is so sad.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

We just completed our 14th year on the 22nd of this month, and what a fast 14 years, too. I should say that they were tears of joy like those that are shed when a contestant who wins a beauty pageant. :) I was so moved by how it all came together, and my husband and I paid for the entire thing. It ended up being 20% of what my father-in-law spent on my sister-in-law's wedding, and he was super impressed. I had seen a wedding take place there, and immediately wanted mine there. So, it was a dream come true for someone who wasn't at all into the "parade" of a wedding and planned it in 3 months. I am a pretty sentimental person and love romantic comedies.


Storytellersrus profile image

Storytellersrus 5 years ago from Stepping past clutter

How sweet! Thank you for clarifying and describing your happy day! And congratulations on achieving 14 years of marriage.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Hi Be-Apublicspeaker. Thanks for your insightful comment.


carriethomson profile image

carriethomson 5 years ago from United Kingdom

Hi formosangirl this is very inspiring and a much needed encouragement to take life in a positive way and stop worring and cribbing about difficulties.

-carrie


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 5 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Thanks Carriethomson. One of the advice that I learn from older individuals is that they wished that they could have worried less and let the petty situations slide. I am starting to notice my coworkers' complaints to be disproportionate to the situations that we all have to face.


alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

I think watching children is the best way to pick yourself up after you start taking yourself too seriously because of all the self-imposed rules. Voting this Up and Interesting.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 4 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Alocsin, thanks for your observation. Now that I have a pre-teen, I have to let some of the talk-backs slide and encourage his argumentative nature as a precursor to his desire to be a lawyer.


Ekvyakta Ekbhakta profile image

Ekvyakta Ekbhakta 4 years ago from India

Nice hub.. voted up


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 4 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Thanks, Ekvyakta, for commenting.


kristakubie profile image

kristakubie 4 years ago from Kansas

I really enjoyed this post. I find that it's tough for me to accept and forgive myself, and this helped me put a few things into perspective. thank you.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 4 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Hi Kristakubie, I think about the old people who wear mismatched clothing. They don't care about what the world thinks. As I am becoming more self-accepting, I feel really good at the end of the day, whether it is a good day or not, because I know that I want to enjoy the part of life that is mine, the evenings and weekends. There are exceptions, like yesterday, and last weekend, I worked on a hard legal brief.


lupine profile image

lupine 4 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Enjoyed your hub, we really do need to be less judgemental & more understanding.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 4 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Thanks, Lupine. I find the media to be tremendously annoying nowadays. It no longer reports the news, but adds its opinion, thinking that we are "better off."


lupine profile image

lupine 4 years ago from Southern California (USA)

formosangirl I agree with your comment about news, it just doesn't report real news anymore, it is more like a reality show, and causes more stress on people, rather than being informative.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 4 years ago from Los Angeles Author

However, the mind continues to yearn the news.


Highland Terrier profile image

Highland Terrier 3 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

Very nice hub with some very useful insights. Will give pause to think about my life again.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 3 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Thanks, Highland Terrier. I, too, have been very contemplative in 2013.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

I too, agree that we (I) will look at 2013 differently, because things are always changing.


formosangirl profile image

formosangirl 3 years ago from Los Angeles Author

Thanks, lupine, for your comment. Sometimes a bad situation can actually be a good situation and vice versa.

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