The Three Most Important Lessons I Have Learned In My Life

Lesson One - Face Your Fear

One of the most important lessons that I have learned in life is to "face your fears". Fears can hold us back from experiencing everything that life has to offer. When we give into fear we limit ourselves. We can do this, go that far, but no more.

My fear was a fear of failure. I was so afraid that I would fail that I failed to take action. This was a self fulfilling cycle that kept me from achieving goals that I had in my business and personal life. I was so paralyzed by fear that I did nothing. I would get excited to do something, and get ready to do it and then the fear would take over and I would quit.

How did I overcome this fear? Phil Keogan, host of the popular TV show, "The Amazing Race", states in his book, "No Opportunity Wasted" that "to attack this fear you must first ask yourself a simple question - How do I define success and failure?"

When we define or goals in absolute terms, all-or-nothing, winner-takes-all, it can be overwhelming. I had a fear of failure in launching an online business. My goal was to make $10,000 a month - that is an unrealistic goal for someone just starting out.

I redefined success as being able to generate $300 a month. This was an attainable goal. Once I hit this goal, I aimed higher. The great thing was I was no longer afraid to try. My defining success in realitic terms I was able to take that first step. The saying is true - the first step is the hardest!

By facing my fear of failure through redefining success I was able to grow in my persoanlly life. This growth has enabled me to overcome my fear of spiders and I am working on my fear of heights. Will I go sky-diving this summer? No I am defining success over fear of heights as climbing my ladder and cleaning my gutters. I can do it! Then perhaps I will work up to sky diving!

Lesson Two - Treat Other People As You Want To Be Treated

The second most important life lesson that I learned is - Treat people like you want to be treated. This is the "Golden Rule". It is a Biblical principle to "Love your neighbor as yourself".

I wish I could asy that I have always followed this principle but I haven't. I was a "me" person - What's in it for me? What can you do for me? I didn't mean to be, I just was.

I'm not sure when I changed but I know that I did. I no longer get impatient with people. I help where I can. I smile at people. I like people so much more now and you know what? They seem to like me more to. I find some inspiration at this website - click here.

This principle applies in business to. I enjoy reading the works on Ken Evoy. He stresses a principle that comes from the movie "Pay It Forward" (Great movie starring Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt). Basically it is that if someone has helped you out, return the favor and help someone else out. Do to others as you would want them to do to you.

When I was starting my online business career money was tight. I couldn't afford some of the books and products that I needed to get my career started. Ken did something tremendous. He gave his knowledge away free! I was able to download his best selling ebook, "Make Your Site Sell" for free! This one act of kindness on his part helped to launch my online career. I would like to "pay it forward" to you. You can download the same free ebook Right Here.

Treating other people like you want to be treated will change your whole outlook on life. You will enjoy it more and have less stress. It is a lesson worth learning at any age.

Pay It Forword - A Life Changing Movie

Lesson Three - Take Chances

I remember seeing my future wife for the first time. She was beautiful! She was funny, intelligent with a smile that made me melt. I enjoyed every moment with her and she was all I thought about. After a period of dating the thought of marriage started to cross my mind. I loved her but I had just come through a bitter divorce and didn't want to risk being hurt again.

I'm glad that I took the chance and asked her to marry me. Fourteen years and two wonderful daughters later I am a blessed man for taking the chance.

There is a program that my young daughter's watch called "iCarly". The theme song has a lyric that rings so true: "There's no chance unless you take one". I like that because it is true in life and in business. You have no chance of succeeding, no chance of reaching your goals and being all you can be unless you take a chance and take action.

I took a chance when I started working online. I was living paycheck to paycheck and was ready to make a change. I had read all about starting a business online and was ready to go. I had saved a few dollars to buy a SiteBuildIt site which contained everything I needed to get started. I knew I wanted to do it but the little voice in my ear told me that I should use the money to pay some bills, take my wife on a much deserved and needed date, that this business was a gamble and I could be wasting much needed money.

Well I took the chance and I have never looked back. I'm on my way to living my dream of working from home part time while earning a full time income. I could never have reached this level of success if I hadn't taken a chance. Indeed, "There's no chance (of success) unless you take one (a chance)".

These three lessons changed my outlook on life and they can change yours.

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Comments 24 comments

shailini profile image

shailini 8 years ago from Bangalore, India

very inspiring..I especially like the "Face the fears" one. And, I have noticed that our fears turn up again and again until we overcome it. Thumbs up

Agro Donkey 8 years ago from Ohio

This was a very well written hub. I liked it a lot. Although I'm not going out and finding any spiders to play with and never will. I do agree with facing your fears.

516Ads profile image

516Ads 8 years ago from Long Island

Smiling Cat, you make people smile and spread wisdom simaltaneously. Not an easy task. Face your fears, take chances, treat others how you'd like to be treated ... got it, love it ... look forward to reading more. - David

oohdragon 8 years ago

very very good although i have so many...which one to choose. i'm too scared to

Smiling Cat profile image

Smiling Cat 8 years ago from Deerfield Beach, Florida Author

Thanks for being to scared to choose, see my overcoming fear hub and watch the video...then "just stop it!" lol

Julie A. Johnson profile image

Julie A. Johnson 8 years ago from Duluth, MN


Thanks for becoming my fan, and I enjoyed reading this inspiring hub. These lessons are very critical to achieving success as well as happiness. Thank you.


Smiling Cat profile image

Smiling Cat 8 years ago from Deerfield Beach, Florida Author


Thanks for the encouragement!

kits 8 years ago

thanks for sharing...How I wish I can face my fear like you do...

blah 8 years ago

you guys are all pathetic

max 7 years ago

how to living with fear? if you can, you will pass it..

miley 7 years ago

it's very nice i actually needed it 4 my holiday homework thank u very much 4 posting this

Bush 7 years ago

"Face your fear", yaa right, go and tell that to my brother President Bush who has maimed and killed about a million citizens out of fear and spreading fear in America, in the process poisoned the entire society with hatred and acrimonious revival of racism.

Bush 7 years ago

The root of racism is fear.

The root of hatred is being scared to hell.

The thought process behind treating Canadians/Europeans differently from Mexicans/Asians in matters of visa is anxiety.

The point is, A thief is always feels afraid after the loot.

scheng1 6 years ago

I love the first point about facing your fear. I have a fear of falling, and due to this fear, I had sustained a few injuries on hiking trips. However, the injuries were just superficial. The actual fall was not as frightening as my fear of falling.

Dayenne 6 years ago

I loved the first and third lesson. Indeed fear paralyzes you and you then fail to take action or chances! I struggle a lot with fear and feel paralyzed a lot of times. Sometimes it is very hard to overcome, and it's funny to see how the human body can be controlled by an emotion. In order to be a winner, one has to look courageously right in the face of fear!

copster 6 years ago

Just like the third lesson, you gotta risk it to get the biscuit ! I found this very inspiring. Thanks

2besure profile image

2besure 6 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

I just signed up wit SiteBuildIt last wee, but have been afraid to get started - I feel overwhelmed. How are you doing with it?

Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 6 years ago from Wales

Well written and so true we do need to face our fears before we can live a full life!

Peter Elumopgo 6 years ago

Thanks. I love that article.

radu1 6 years ago

what if you treat people as you want to be treated, and they still treat you like crap anyway??? is it ok to punch them in the face then?

Mahfuzur Nahin 5 years ago

I write that comment because the lesson is important and it helped me a lot than i thought

shmaila 4 years ago

i like it

Reerisorceshy 3 years ago

My partner and i helpful to get on top of lifestyle but recently We've accumulated some sort of opposition.

BookStown 16 months ago

Fantastic blog. keep it up!

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