Nurses' Episodes - The Wisper of Agony - Save Life - Journey to Death

Patient In Love With Her Nurse

I was in my nursing practice as a student, when i was assigned to a 16 year old boy patient. I was giving him a cold bath because of his high fever. He had an emergency operation because of his ruptured appendix.

One hour after the operation he said: "You are my nurse?" I said: "Yes"

He asked: " Are you the one washing my whole body? Oh my God, seeing me naked, every part of me?"

I said: "Yes, don't worry, you are in good hands."

He said: "Oh..i thank you for that, with a shy smile."

I said: "You are welcome and give him back a smile,"

A few days he was dismissed...he brought me flowers and was courting me.

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The Medical Ward

I was a station Nurse in a Medical Ward as i reported on a night duty. It was 9:00 p.m. i was alone taking over of about 14 Patients. One patient was in critical conditon, and was dying.

I transfered him in the doctor´s room near my office so i could often check his vital status and his actual condition.

He had a nasal oxygen, a venous Infusion. He can´t talk anymore, all he could do was to moan in pain, sighing, his wisper of agony.

I looked into his closed eyes, his eye lashes were wet with tears flowing on the side corner of his eyes as he continued to moan and made a low sigh.

I gave him the fix dosis of Morphin and did several oral suctions to free him from his excessive mucous secretions.

He was relief and fall asleep.

He was still alive as i finished my night shift and had passed away that morning.



Surgical Intensive Care Unit

We have four to six critical comatose patients all were in the respiratory machine. They were victims of worst car accidents, suicidal patients jumping from the 10th floor of the building. We did have one patient with an open abdomen.

These were patients who survived through the respiratory machines. When they have pain the blood pressure rises up or when they had unstable conditions the monitors were alarming letting us know they needed help, a kind of wisper, of their agony jnterpreted through the monitors.

The Reanimation/Resuscitation in The Surgical Ward

My station was calm and my patients were sleeping.

At about 11:45 p.m. we heard the emergency alarm from the other station .I was running as fast as i could and checked what happened.

A patient was having a heart attack. His lips were blue grasping to breath as the other nurse gave him some oxygen, though he got his emergency medicine he was getting worst and was unconscious, we started the manual resuscitation as the other nurse assistant called the REA Team or Resuscitation Team. He came back after 2 Defibrilator applications. He wisper something....his wisper of agony.... suddenly he had another severe heart attack with cardiac arrest that the REA Team can no longer helped him after all the necessary measures applied to save his life. He was still 45 years old as he died.

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Comments 6 comments

dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 5 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

It must be very frustrating when you try to save a life and can't.


carolp profile image

carolp 5 years ago from Switzerland Author

Yes dahoglund, it is frustrating after all we tried our best to take care of our patients. We cannot always save life all the time to 100 percent. Life is in God's hands.


lambservant profile image

lambservant 5 years ago from Pacific Northwest

Being an ICU nurse can take a heavy toll on ones emotions. My former husband has been and ICU nurse for over 30 years. I don't know how he's stayed in it this long. I have heard everything. You are a special person to do this kind of job. I hope you realize what a difference you have made for those folks who have slipped away just be being at their bedside and caring for them in every way. They did not die alone. God bless you Carol.


carolp profile image

carolp 5 years ago from Switzerland Author

Thanks for your comment lambservant. Being an ICU nurse is a hard job. Taking care of the patients for quite a time and they die is frustrating, for those who survive, we are greatful. One has to master each of our emotion.


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

My work as a nurse is in a different area-psychiatric. But, I have also worked hospice. It is not easy losing a patient that you are taking care of. Best to you.


carolp profile image

carolp 5 years ago from Switzerland Author

Thanks for your comment Denise Handlon. It is sometimes hard to maintain a stable moral, psychological emotion in this kind of profession. I love psychiarie and i know one has to have a strong psychological balance.

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