Calling All Listeners?

Wanna Hear A Secret?

It's really not a secret you know; life is a mystery, not a secret! If it was a secret how would you have known? Oh, I see, you heard it from a little birdie, right? There is no secret here, it's just regurgitated stuff, fashioned by a super marketer telling the same story in modern jargon destined for those who aren't really listening to what's going on inside of them to begin with. If you knew your self, and this mystery we call life, would you care about a new secret? Could there even be a new secret about it? Truth is, I'm not sure many of us are listening to what we already know because if we did, we wouldn't want to hear it. So, this is not a hub about secrets; it's a hub about listening and learning and growing and being.

Even when some are listening intently, they just don't get it!

It's more important and harder than you think

Recently, I recognized what a horrible listener I was...er...am! There were several clues that led me to this conclusion and I thought I would give some of them to you so you can pass them on to others whom you might think are terrible listeners too!

  1. I'm a man - According to my wife all men are terrible listeners. I probably would have known that if I had listened to my first wife. I hope I learn it before there is a need for number three.
  2. I'm an older man - how can I listen when it's getting more and more difficult to hear? I now have more hair in and around my ears than ever before. The problem is the ones inside my ears that are supposed to vibrate so I can hear don't and the ones on the outside that aren't supposed to be there are just flowin in the breeze making it hard to hear anything at all.
  3. I'm a proud old man - what man in his right mind wants to listen to someone else when he knows instinctively, like a teenager, he already knows everything there is to know. LOL!

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." - Winston Churchill

All Kidding Aside

Listening is an incredibly important yet underutilized human gift. True, many of us can hear, but how many of us truly listen? Do we understand what we may be missing by failing to pay heed to another human being, by failing to share our complete and undivided attention? I think not, Otherwise, we would do it more intently, possibly hearing things like; I may not agree with you, but perhaps we can work on the solution together. Or, is it possible for us to move beyond where we are right now and live in harmony despite our differences? Or maybe, we might even listen closely enough, without thinking about our next remark, to hear, I"m sorry, please forgive me? What if we listened carefully, yet vulnerably, with an open and expectant heart, might we just hear something significant like...I love you? Would that be worth the price of learning how to listen?

Okay, so maybe we didn't get all the right lessons from our parents or from our education or from the experiences we have had to date. But maybe...just maybe, if we can muster the courage to remain silent one moment longer, while another speaks, trying to convey a thought or a feeling, then maybe...just maybe, we'll build new pathways of goodness, kindness and trust. Maybe we won't all have to continually pay such a dear price for choosing not to learn, choosing not to be conscious enough to say to ourselves I care about the world in which I live and I can do better. Because I value life, I will swallow whatever pride I have and I'll learn to help fill in some of the gaps that I didn't know as a child. Then, maybe...just maybe, we can discover another clue, integral to the mystery of this life that has always eluded us.

Can you hear what I hear? Listen, in the silence is the sound of peace! Peace with my brothers and sisters and peace...within my own heart!

Just sayin!

What do you think?

My friends would say my listening skills:

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I would like to listen to what you have to say. So, please make a comment. Thank You! 19 comments

cloverleaffarm profile image

cloverleaffarm 4 years ago from The Hamlet of Effingham

Great hub! Loved the Dalai Lama video. The anchor must have been so embarrassed. Thanks for sharing. Voted up.


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 4 years ago from Asheville NC Author

Thank you Loverleaffarm!

I appreciate your comment and yes, if I was the anchor, I would stick to the news. They both handled it well and we got to learn from it! How cool is that?

Come back again!

Bruce


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

This was a fun and informational read! I think we are all guilty of being poor listeners. The videos were great.


KatrineDalMonte 4 years ago

An ability to be a good listener plays a significant role in our life, be it in personal or work surroundings. Many relationships fail because of misunderstanding coming from lack of listening and communication. It's a skill that can be improved. Thanks for this hub.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

Great message and great video! Listening is a lost art it seems to me; I am amazed by the number of people I know who cannot just listen but feel obligated to give advice or an opinion. Just listen! Two ears to hear with and one mouth to zip shut! Wonderful hub and reminder!


Dee aka Nonna profile image

Dee aka Nonna 4 years ago

Listening is hard work, but I think we listen better when we really want to hear what is being said. Listening is tough because our minds are cluttered with so much "stuff".

I loved your beginning and I think life is a lovely mystery with great adventure, but I do think the Universe tossed us a few secrets along the way....LOL

Voted up and awesome.


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 4 years ago

I refuse to LISTEN to those who say their skills are immecable! Clearly, they just aren't LISTENING to the truth! LOL. Excellent advice and oh, so true!


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 4 years ago from Asheville NC Author

My apologies for not immediately responding to those of you kind enough to read and comment on this hub. I must have been listening to a different drummer recently! I am however, deeply grateful!

@Mary615

I think you're right! I just wish I could get on the positive side of the scale. Maybe I should consider changing audiologists!LOL Thanks for the support.

@KatrineDalMonte

You would think that after hearing that listening may be the most underutilized communication skill, someone would actually hear the screams for help? Thank you for the attention you gave while reading this article, in other words, thanks for listening!

@Billybuc

OMG Bill, there are so many people today with ADD, ADHD, PTSD, MNLOP or any of the other syndromes we have letters for that can't sit still for a moment, and we want them to listen too? LOL! (didn't intend to be insensitive with those actually struggling with the above)

Thanks for reading and commenting! You know I appreciate it immensely.

@Dee aka Nonna

I can always count on you! I think the secrets you are referring to are those filtered by the ears and processed in the heart! Perhaps that's why so many of us have had difficulty in the past. We have been walking through life attempting to listen out for the secrets, while attending a Harley convention! Nice!

Oh and BTW, I really enjoyed your new profile. It inspired me...again! Thank you.

@ImKarn23

You must have read "The Four Agreement," one of which is the impeccability of your word. HaHaHa. But, then again, maybe I wasn't listening. Thank you for reading this hub and for you comment. It's important to me.


Dee aka Nonna profile image

Dee aka Nonna 4 years ago

Born2care, you made me laugh...really laugh out loud this morning. I love beginning the day with a laugh it sets the tone. But, I know you are right...those Harley conventions and secreats....yeah!

Again, I really enjoyed this hub.


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 4 years ago from Asheville NC Author

Hi Nonna,

I knew that one would grab you! More to come and I sincerely hope they start or end your day the same way as I am oh so grateful for the zest with which you live your life!

Sincerely,

Bruce


christollesseb profile image

christollesseb 4 years ago from UK ME ASIA

Just found you and read this Hub. Loved it and will certainly spend some more time here. Thanks for sharing your wisdom on Life. Voted up. Ciao for now, Christo.


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 4 years ago from Asheville NC Author

Hi Christo!

Welcome to Hub Pages!!! I am grateful that you chose to read my hub and also for leaving your kind thoughts in this comment.

I think you will learn that this community is very supportive of each other, not perfect, but definitely encouraging in this craft we enjoy so much.

I actually found you through an insightful comment you left on a hub entitled "Working in a Job You Hate." I read your profile and recognized you are quite accomplished yourself, so I can't wait to delve into your world.

Thanks again for reading and I know we will help each other in the future! Good Luck and keep writing!

Bruce


xstatic profile image

xstatic 4 years ago from Eugene, Oregon

This is wise counsel and great wrting too! I visited your Hubs based on a comment you made on one of mine. It was worth the trip. Good advise that I need to follow.

UP and shared.


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 4 years ago from Asheville NC Author

Thank you xstatic,

I greatly appreciate your kind comments. I too, found you through another Hub Page writer and the comments you made there.

Welcome to Hub Pages and I sincerely hope you have as much fun here as I have. Time flies and is almost as beautiful as Oregon!

I look forward to reading your poetry. I'm fascinated by what comes out of the minds of men!

Peace Be With You!

Bruce


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

What a great hub.. I try and listen to all my sweet friends and people I don't know. I hope I am listening to them,

voted up

Debbie


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 4 years ago from Asheville NC Author

Hi Deborah!

Thank you for reading and for commenting! I am truly grateful! I also appreciate the comment you left right after mine on Hubbnel Meer's plagiarism hub.

This is why I enjoy being a part of the hub pages community.

I encourage those who are impacted to see that people can steal the material things but they can never take away the freedom of expression that emanates from within our hearts...until we give up or give in.

Be who you are, no matter what!

Peace be with you!


wheelinallover profile image

wheelinallover 4 years ago from Central United States

Imagine being told one of your original pieces of writing has to be removed as a plagiarized piece within 5 minutes of posting. This is listening in the extreme. I will never know how someone was able to take the piece and publish it in those five minutes. The platform "listened" to me even though I didn't time stamp the article. I still wonder what would have happened if I hadn't had similar pieces published on the same platform. Each persons listening style as well as writing style is unique.

I loved the part where you said the hair on the outside stopped you from hearing and the hair on the inside didn't work as it should. In truth though the hair on the inside affects balance as well as hearing. Anyone who has lived or is living with Menieres syndrome can attest to this. I do, which is why I had to answer your poll with "Did you say something to me?" I am also wheelchair bound because I have very poor balance. Even with the wheelchair I average a fall a month.


Rebecca2904 profile image

Rebecca2904 4 years ago

Great hub! I think really trying to listen past the words to the way something is being said is the real trick to trying to understand what someone's actually trying to convey - saying that though, the phrase 'it's not what you said it's the way you said it' comes to mind. Maybe I'm just saying that because I'm a girl haha.


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 4 years ago from Asheville NC Author

Hi Rebecca!

Welcome Back! I agree with you about "how you say something." In fact, I believe the number one skill that's required in good listening is being present with the people in the conversation and not just geographically. I mean interested in what the other people have to say, attentive. (So when you're looking for a guy make sure he's got that skill. Right? Chuckle)

I'm grateful for your comments.

Thanks you.

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