There are different kinds of Crazy
and I cant really do much about
two of them. There are those who can’t be helped because their condition and choices have rendered them physically incapable of fighting their condition. There are those who are heading that way and hold onto the idea that their lives aren't worth saving and there is nothing that they can do for the world, let alone for themselves.
There are, however, those who still have a spark left and are only missing their, "what’s in it for me," moment. It is these last that I would speak to here. I have been approached by many parents and loved ones of those who are possibly the second but I can only wish to be the third kind of crazy. I won't deal with the other two kinds of crazy and for the sake of my not totally rotten heart, lump all those with some spark left into the third category. FYI I don't know any nice way of putting this that won’t sound like the B.S. that doctors, nurses, and social workers feed parents. These professionals may have good intents but when they know that your loved one doesn't have the desire to progress they often decide to become part of the cycle of insanity but one that actually gets paid for it. They turn cases that they can’t solve with quick medication hits into marks on the ledger that tie the family to the hospital with a thick chain.
I am the real deal or in other words, I am sane when my conditions would dictate a large probability that I shouldn’t be. I am someone who walked away from a cliff they think their loved one is marching towards gladly. These people need to know that I did what I did because I refused to give up. I wanted sanity more then I wanted to rot in some padded cell until any state funding that was keeping me there ran out and I ended up back on the street no better for my incarceration. If I wanted, I could have lived off of my family for a very long time as they were convinced that I couldn't hack it. I wouldn't have a wife or two children. The somewhat funny thing being about my life is that even in my search for sanity I hadn't even considered them as possible bonuses to my determination.
Before we get to the questionably good news lets dispense with the bad. If your loved one doesn't want to be sane there is nothing you can do. There isn't anything you can force them to do. There isn't any place you can send them to learn. There isn't any way you can talk them around. Trying any of these things probably has placed you in the position of reading this article as you are hungrily even through my general pessimistic prognosis as this article might be viewed as.
Those who have slipped a cog and aren't in their right mind actually revel in the cycle that allows them to make their mistakes that they know are mistakes while someone else picks up the tab. Everything they do and say is calculated to the best of their ability to make sure everyone in their world keeps the cycle that is safe going. They lie, steal, abuse, and play stupid in various degrees because they don't mind subsisting and letting others take the emotional fall. They have no intention of hitting rock bottom because they have convinced themselves that no one will let that happen.
If there is any hope in saving these people, it is to shatter that bubble. I don't know your loved ones. I can’t lie detect them for you. I can’t diagnose them for you. I am not a doctor. I found my solution to my brand of crazy and I am still working on that solution. I can, however, help you understand the psychology and tell you, who are loved ones of the insane, that you probably could find a lot of answers to your own emotional feed back loops in support groups geared for those who are Co-Dependant. Look it up. There are groups all over the United States and they work to help those who have been twisted by those they love break free from the games that insane people play on the sane.
If it helps, I am sorry that you are in this predicament and you aren't really to blame. You have big hearts and have someone in your life that is self destructive but very artful at making sure that you are the one who actually destructs. The insane are some of the smartest people on this planet. The insane include people who sometimes even can exist somewhat in normal society long enough to make contributions that people still remember. Some of them gave the American society the impetus to build death chambers.
For what its worth I wish you well in finding your own answers and wish your loved ones the ability to get the strength to join the land of the sane.
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