Where is the panic button?
You ever get that feeling where you suddenly feel afraid?
Where it seems like you can't breathe?
Like nothing makes sense?
Well... that happened to me today. I thought I was over this but I guess I'm not.
Three years ago, I had my first case of a panic attack. It was not very pleasant at all. In fact, it was quite scary.
Whenever I would drive on the interstate I'd panic. Because I thought I'd wreck. When I went in walmart I couldn't stay in there that long because I thought I'd pass out in front of everyone.
It has all started back again. Fear will control you if you let it but you can't let it control you. . . I guess I just need someone else to help me out on this.
Well today, I went to work. About 30 minutes before I was about to get off, I started getting super hot. I felt hot then I would get cold then I would get hot again. I took out the trash and I was on my way home. As I got on the interstate all of a sudden I couldn't really breathe like I was earlier. It felt like something was in my chest. Well as I got on down the road it started getting worse. I called my boyfriend and I told him I couldn't breathe. He thought I was kidding, when I really wasn't. I felt like I was going to die. The first thing that came to mind was I was going to fall out, no one was going to find me and I was going to wreck and hit a tree.
Talk about scary. I thougth about calling 911 but then I am stubborn and I didn't want another hospital bill because I already have a $700 one that I'm paying off now. So I left it alone. I told him to meet me in a town that was about 15 minutes away ... ( it's a 30 minute commute to work ) and so he agreed. He stayed on the phone with me the whole time.
I was humming, trying to sing, I turned on the AC anything that would calm me down. I turned on gospel music anything really. It helped a little bit but everytime I thought about the situation I would get scared again.
My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to bust out of my chest. Y'all, this is a very scary feeling. Like I said earlier, I felt like I was dying.
To make a long story short. I got home safely. My boyfriend met me about 10 miles before the exit and we trailed each other. When I say that I thought I had gotten over this because I thought I had. But I guess fear can strike anytime without warning.
So for all your prayer warriors out there. I need you to pray for me. I know that fear will mess with your mind and this fear has really messed with me. I just really need some encouragment out there so I can beat this like I beat it again.
My fear is everytime I get a text from my sister or mom that it's going to say that someone has died. I guess you could say I am afraid of dying. I'm afraid of losing someone I love. I lost my grandpa about a month ago and I miss him so much. I know that this is what is causing me to panic because I was fine before all of this and now I'm not. I just need prayer. So please pray for me. I greatly appreciate it!