How to deal with an alcoholic husband?

Love therapy

‘When you live in an alcoholic family or an abusive family, you tiptoe, you don’t want to step on any mines.’ –Glenn Beck

‘Siva does not drink any more’, Vimala told me with happy tears in her eyes. I felt pleased for her, because I personally knew how much she had suffered dealing with an alcoholic husband. Siva, her husband had been addicted to drinks for years and it was the sheer will power and love she had for her husband which made Vimala pull him out of the rut he had fallen into.

Are you one of the unlucky ones who are undergoing the agony of dealing with a husband who is so addicted to drinks that he has no thoughts for you and your children? I am sure that there are times when you want to leave him to lead a peaceful life with your children. Your life is a struggle to manage the family with the torture of financial debacle your husband’s habit would have thrown your family into.

Have patience

You must have immense patience and perseverance to make your husband forgo his obsession and lead a normal life of love and care. Your husband might be a prey to this destructive habit due to various reasons. Though there is no excuse for his misconduct, you should approach the problem psychologically so that you can haul your husband out of this self wrecking addiction.

Bad company is one of the reason

Bad company is one of the reasons for your husband being lead into a self destructive obsession with drinks. When in company of friends, he loses his sense of time and he forgets that he has a family waiting for him. One glass of drink leads to another and after sometime it is all drinks and nothing more.

Do not isolate your children

You should not isolate your children from your husband because of his addiction. Do not involve the children in your angry outbursts with your husband as it might alienate them from him. You should make them interact with him so that he comes to cherish the happiness of family life. You too should not nag him for his addiction, as if you do so you will make him more aggressive and non repentant for his craving for drinks.

Abusive childhood

His family background also might be one of the reasons for his thirst for drinks. If you notice, a man from a happy family atmosphere and under the care of loving parents never has any such an addiction. It is often the pathetic situation of living in a family of abuse, maltreatment that leads a man into the company of addicted persons and in their unwanted friendship, drinks become his solace to forget his wretched life. Gradually drinks take an upper hand till he is unable to leave it.

He will react to your love

It is here your work starts. Initially he might not react to your love, but men always succumb to love more easily than woman. If you understand him truly, you will find him wanting to spend more time with you and your children to cherish what he had not experienced in his childhood, which is love. Do not nag, but love; do not drift away from your husband, but try to get him into the family fold. You might want to scream at him in frustration, but you should be patient enough to be soft and kind. Make him feel ashamed of his addiction by your love and it will work the magic of De-addicting him from his fixation.

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Comments 2 comments

Larry Fields profile image

Larry Fields 3 years ago from Northern California

Hi mathira,

I think that it takes an extraordinary person to do what you just described. But in India and in some other developing countries, there may not be any other realistic options.

Here in the USA, there's always the 'Texas Choice'. Apparently it worked for Laura Bush.

Voted up and beautiful.


mathira profile image

mathira 3 years ago from chennai Author

I know it takes immense courage to deal with an alcoholic husband. In India most of the lower income group women suffer from this and the courage they show in bringing up their children by working hard is worth writing about.

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