Useful warnings for stupid people

I don't know about you, but I'm starting to think retailers and business folks in general think the public must be getting dumber every day. This, or they live in constant fear of being sued by the one dummy among a million who is going to use a product or service in a manner it isn't intended. And what brings me to this conclusion? The overwhelming number of useful warnings for stupid people put on products we use every day.

As condescending (and insulting) to the intelligent consumer as these warnings can be, they do have certain entertainment value. If you're doubtful of this take a look at these warnings from real products and tell me if none of them gives you a chuckle.


We'll start off with this warning, one you've probably seen every time you buy this product. Now I could be wrong, but shouldn't the name of the product - Peanut Butter- in of itself provide a fair enough warning about what primary ingredient may be found in it?



To be fair, though, not all of consumers are merely worried about their kid's allergies. Some are obviously concerned with the allergic reactions of the world's insect population.


BUT if you do have children at home, it is apparent we need to be reminded not to let them eat out of anything NOT made of rubber or plastic. Wait until they're at least 18 before introducing them to china ware, iron ware, pottery or anything else that could possibly break. Better yet, just wrap those kids in cotton and tube feed them until they're old enough to join the army!



On the other hand, adults obviously can't be trusted to use plastic without devastating results...


or products with names and descriptions that clearly define the reason for using it...


or grooming supplies..


apparel-grooming supplies...


other stuff for apparel...


small appliances..


heavy appliances...


lightweight household objects...


really, really lightweight objects



objects found outdoors...



the outdoors itself...


public restrooms...


places you're better off avoiding...


even those places none of us can avoid...


and yes, even those things that can help get us there.



This Hub ©November 28, 2012 by Beth Perry

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Comments 33 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

(snicker)

Funniest one I ever saw said:

"If you cannot read this warning label, please do not use this product."


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

Will, I like that one! Have you seen the bumper sticker that reads (in small print): "If you can read this you need to get off my damned bumper!"?


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 4 years ago from North Carolina

What a compilation of ridiculous labels! Well done Beth. The first one comes as no surprise- ant traps and peanuts on the same conveyor-belt fits right in with the recent FDA crack down on the organic peanut makers who don't wash their hands etc etc. The Vidal Sassoon one is bizarre as is the sand swimming sign. They need to put a doggie skull and bones on that micro-wave too; you know, just to get the message across firmly ha ha. So cool with these, Beth. Now, 'scuse me while i go grab a stick of urinal gum- yum!


greenpharmacy profile image

greenpharmacy 4 years ago from Korea

very funny hub! "If you cannot read this warning label, please do not use this product."...@WillStarr..


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

Alastar, roflol!!

Thanks for reading and commenting my friend :)


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

greenpharmacy9, thanks much and I appreciate you dropping by to read :)


strkngfang profile image

strkngfang 4 years ago

Great job & very funny. The sad thing is there are some stupid people out there that need these warnings. I still recall many years ago, a man attempted to trim a small bush using his lawnmower and cut his legs pretty bad. From this began the warning label on all new mowers, " mower must only be used with all 4 wheels on the ground"- a true story. I think all newer ones, the engine will shut off if lifted or tipped over.


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

'Have you seen the bumper sticker that reads (in small print): "If you can read this you need to get off my damned bumper!"? '

Yes, and that one actually caused an accident because a driver got too close trying to read it! It was in the paper a couple of years ago.


innerspin profile image

innerspin 4 years ago from uk

You've got me giggling here, a great collection of weird and wonderful labels. The mind boggles. (Is it safe to boggle? I'm not sure....) Thanks for the laughs.


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 4 years ago from Home Sweet Home

hilarious! yeah, i had seem some of these on the warning tab. Funny but dead serious to keep warning going. Great photos. Voted funny


Dexter Yarbrough profile image

Dexter Yarbrough 4 years ago from United States

Beth! Your wit, wisdom and humor is enlightening!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

strkngfang, I agree there are some people who can benefit from these warnings, but still, my first reaction is to be exasperated. But I'm trying to take it with a smile more often and I guess that's better than just getting frustrated.

Thanks for dropping by and reading!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

WillStarr, I didn't know that. How awful AND funny!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

innerspin, so happy you enjoyed the collection, and thanks much for dropping in :)


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

peachpurple, thanks so much and I appreciate you!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 4 years ago from Tennesee Author

Dexter, hey there! Glad you enjoyed and thanks for dropping by to read :)


Sharkye11 profile image

Sharkye11 4 years ago from Oklahoma

And to think...we spend millions of dollars not only to make these warning labels, but to save the lives of people who try to do this stuff anyway. And they wonder why the world is overpopulated! we keep saving people that Nature is trying to weed out!

This is a great hub. I am very worried about the gum though. And the condom as headgear. What goes on in the men's room anyhow???


toknowinfo profile image

toknowinfo 3 years ago

Very enjoyable read. Some of these labels really left me shaking my head, but still smiling. Thanks for putting this together. Just a note, you might want to update the video, it didn't play. Looking forward to reading more of your humorous hubs. Rated up and funny.


bethperry profile image

bethperry 3 years ago from Tennesee Author

Sharkye11, thanks much and good question there! lol


bethperry profile image

bethperry 3 years ago from Tennesee Author

toknowinfo, glad you enjoyed, and I got that video replaced. Hope this one works for you :)


Ebonny profile image

Ebonny 3 years ago from UK

What a great collection you have here. Voted up, funny. Thanks for making me smile.


bethperry profile image

bethperry 3 years ago from Tennesee Author

My pleasure, Ebonny, and thank you for the VU :)


wba108@yahoo.com profile image

wba108@yahoo.com 3 years ago from upstate, NY

We can thank our out of control liberal legal system for making it necessary to post ridiculous warnings on everything! If the government just did its job and minded its own business you wouldn't ever see any of this.


bethperry profile image

bethperry 3 years ago from Tennesee Author

wba108, absolutely true.


bn9900 profile image

bn9900 2 years ago from Alger WA

Ever listen to Bill Engvall "Here's you're sign" skit, fits right in with this hub, voted up and funny!


bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee Author

bn9900, no I haven't, but I will look it up online! Thanks much and glad you enjoyed :)


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

Very funny. I don't know which I enjoyed the most. It does make you wonder what prompted such specific warnings. There's always a dumdum behind the need for such things.


bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee Author

FlourishAnyway, yes some of these can put some really scary scenarios running through your head. Thanks much for dropping in to read :)


Hackslap profile image

Hackslap 2 years ago from Sydney, Australia

LMAO ..Hillarious! .. My favorite was ..suitable for all ages ..do not use without adult supervision ...wtf? haha


bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee Author

Hackslap, glad you enjoyed them!


bn9900 profile image

bn9900 2 years ago from Alger WA

Hackslap-they have to put those warnings on the labels for all the stupid people out there that can't think for themselves, get hurt then sue the company, Just like the stupid broad that sued Mc Donalds coffee all over her lap....Caution Hot contents can be understood by a 5 year old


bethperry profile image

bethperry 2 years ago from Tennesee Author

bn9900, thanks much for dropping by!


SANJAY LAKHANPAL profile image

SANJAY LAKHANPAL 2 years ago from Mandi (HP) India

The objective of these warnings may be fun or attention seeking or publicity. I enjoyed reading the hub. Thanks for sharing the warnings of the stupid, for the stupid, by the stupid.

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