Waking Up With "Bill W" - Life Without Hangovers!

Happiness!!!!

Waking up instead of “coming to!”


The sound of birds chirping is slowly pulling me into consciousness. The breeze coming through the open window is filling my room with the soothing smell of lilacs. Slowly my eyes begin to open as I stretch my arms over my head. I gaze at my surroundings and suddenly I’m filled with an overwhelming feeling of happiness. I’m awake and it’s a beautiful day.


My head isn’t throbbing. There is no feeling of impending doom creeping into my thoughts. My chest doesn’t feel like it’s about to explode from the severe panic that used to set in the moment I “came to.” I am no longer just going through the motions of life…I am living it!


Today I can look forward to waking up in the morning and deciding what I want to do. “Do I want to eat first, or should I work out?” “Maybe I’ll take a walk down to the river, or even go for a ride on the bike.”Five years ago I didn’t have the luxury of making these decisions. The moment my eyes popped open, my choices were already made for me.


You see, my body was completely dependent on alcohol, Xanax, Klonopin, and various other (prescribed) medications. I could not function without this toxic combination. My very first feeling, every morning, was that of panic. Therefore, my very first action of every day was to swallow a Xanax, after which I would lie still for a long period of time waiting for my nerves to calm.


Once I was able to pry myself out of bed I would immediately jump in the shower. I had to wash away the prior night. There were days when I would spend a half hour shampooing and scrubbing…anything to get that feeling off, or out, of me. But it didn’t matter how much I cleaned my body, hair or teeth…I couldn’t wash away the drunk! I was breathing, and yes, I had a pulse, but I was not alive!


Every day was gray! It didn’t matter if the sun was shining, the flowers were blooming, or the birds were singing. Rainy days were no different than warm and sunny days. They were all filled with sadness and discontent.


Eventually my body caved. It had had enough and couldn’t take it anymore. When I hit that brick wall there were people waiting for me. They were the kindest, most sincere, people I had met in my life. They came from all walks of life, yet they were all the same. Everyone one of them had his/her unique story to share, yet every story carried the same message.


Those people came to me from the rooms of AA. They helped me find a life…my life! I will be forever grateful to them for giving me the ability to feel joy and contentment.


These days it doesn’t matter if the sun is shining, or if it rains all day. Every day is beautiful! I grab my own little piece of happiness from every 24 hour period that I remain sober and “Life is Good!” All of this is possible because I begin each day waking up with Bill W!




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Comments 25 comments

Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Hey Wendi, I'm glad to hear your words, as you have laid them out and it is a joyous day, as it is also always a good day, when we get up. I applaud your strength and outlook. Honored to know you, learn from you and chat with. Rated up! Great Hub! Thank you very much for sharing. :)


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you Cags! I literally just posted this hub. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it.


Cagsil profile image

Cagsil 6 years ago from USA or America

Yes, I know you just published it. I saw it on the feed. I found the title interesting, so I read it. Besides, I am always up for learning about people, their thoughts and feelings, because I get to know them(each person) better. On another note, from what I have read from your other hubs, I am of the understanding that you are a very interesting lady. ;) :) You're quite welcome.


Alicia 6 years ago

Hey mom, that story was really good!! It's nice to see how far you have come!!!We are proud of you!!

love ya!!!


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you sweetie...love you too!


PaulaK profile image

PaulaK 6 years ago from Austin. Texas

What an awesome testimony of achieved sobriety! Congratulations!


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you Paula.


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Yes it is! And it's going to be good tomorrow too!


suziecat7 profile image

suziecat7 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

It's great to greet the morning with joy. It takes courage to decide to do that. Great Hub.


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you Suzie.


nikki1 profile image

nikki1 6 years ago

Awww. What a great dedication hub. Good luck on your sobriety.

May every day be better than the last day. I have faith in.


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you so much Nikki.


Ann Nonymous profile image

Ann Nonymous 6 years ago from Virginia

Hey Wendi...what a beautiful and amazing testimony and story. thank you soooo much for sharing with all of us and for opening old wounds and your heart to help others! God bless you!


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you for taking the time to read it Ann.


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

Hey there, Wendi! What a lovely testament to sobriety!

Every day is new to me, as well, and I congratulate you for enjoying our sober new world.

Bless you!


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Hi Laurel. Thanks for reading the hub. How have been...did your surgery go ok?


lorlie6 profile image

lorlie6 6 years ago from Bishop, Ca

I've put it off, Wendi. There are far too many things happening in my world to add surgery to the mix-2 grandkids on the way, one of them due any minute. We have to make an 8 hour drive when the blessed event occurs and I don't think I'd want to do that while recovering!

Thanks for remembering, girl. How's your sis holding up?


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

She's doing quite well. She bought a beautiful home (with 5 acres of land) in Florida.

Congratulations on the future grandkids, I have another one on the way...thanks to my son this time around.


webnh profile image

webnh 6 years ago from Manchester, NH

Congrats Wendi for waking with Bill W. today, I always look out my NH window in the morning and say thanks.


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 6 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you Web...and nice to meet you neighbor.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 5 years ago from New Jersey Shore

These words you have written really touch me in a manner that it had reminded me of my awaking each and every morning. This is a beautiful hub and I want to Congratulate you for your willingness and strong determination to come clean and sober. Sobriety is the best thing in the world and it is my new world now and everyday forward! Voted UP and Beautiful!

Gob Bless you Wendi!


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 5 years ago from New Hampshire Author

Thank you "the clean life." God bless you too, and congratulations on your sobriety!


mgt28 profile image

mgt28 3 years ago

God bless you. I will re-read this hub again. This hub will make me look at life with a different set of eyes and hear the chirping birds with a different set of ears.


Wendi m 3 years ago

Thank you for the kind words MG!


Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 3 years ago from New Hampshire Author

What a wonderful comment MG....thank you! Wendi

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