What Is The Life Of An Alcoholic ?

The Life of an Alcoholic

Here we go again you may be saying to yourself. Mark is writing one more hub on alcoholism and his life. Yes, you are so right and i will continue to write about alcohol until my fingers don't move on the keyboard anymore. I need to continue to write my journey and my ideas on how people that are addicted to alcohol can get and stay sober. One of these hubs just might save a marriage,family or ever someone's life.

So here we go ladies and gents on what is the life of an alcoholic?

Lets see, I think I will use myself as a specimen for this subject matter.

First off, I am not proud of my past life as a alcoholic, in fact it is a bit embarrassing to write about my life and to let the entire world know my personal life, including my family in which many of them didn't even know I had a drinking problem at all. Fooled them, didn't I?

I started drinking alcohol at the young age of 19, a year after the legal age back then. Back then the legal age was 18 and I had no interest whatsoever to drink even though I was of age. I worked on my race cars and I was perfectly happy until one day my life turn upside down from a court order that I will not get into in this hub, but anyway this court order was the reason I started to drink alcohol.

As I continued to drink everyday, thinking that everything would go away and just get better, I became more addicted to alcohol.

If Someone Were to Ask Me Now

If someone were to ask me now how my life was when I was addicted to alcohol I would tell them flat out, "IT SUCKED!" To this day I don't know how I was so weak to let the demons come into my life and stay in my life for many years.

Life as an alcoholic truly did suck, but at that time in my life I really didn't care. I was having a great old time drinking my life away and thinking by drinking my problems would simply vanish. Man was I wrong about that one. The problems did lighten up as I drank myself to death, but once sober the next day, the problem was still at my front door waiting to be solved.

Life as an alcoholic is horrible and if you never had the pleasure of being a functioning drunk, you are not missing anything, believe me. Sure having a great time in bars after work to wee hours in the morning was thought to be a great time back then, but bringing the buzz home to the family was not a good thing at all.

When I think today of what I put my wife and children through all those years of drinking and abusing alcohol makes me feel as if i was not a man of the family, I was just a functioning drunk that had a family.

I continue to torture myself still, but I should start to take it easy on myself now, for I made good for all I did wrong in my years of drinking alcohol. I changed my life and made a better life for my family, but still deep down inside me my addiction still haunts me.

I will always be an alcoholic for the rest of my life. After all I did earn that wonderful title of "an alcoholic." I sure heard it enough from those who knew me and now I have to live with it. No problem though, I know I am sober and will remain sober for the rest of my life.


MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING DAY
MY DAUGHTER'S WEDDING DAY | Source
Source
MY SON AND NIECE
MY SON AND NIECE

An Alcoholics Life

An alcoholics life is not a good life at all, even though the alcoholic thinks different, meaning we are having a blast in life and have no worries, but when the next drink will come.

Thinking back in time I remember waking up in the morning with my head banging and the first thing that came to mind was when I can start drinking that day. Weekends were great because I could start drinking alcohol in the morning or early afternoon and not have to worry about having to wake up to go to work. They were the days my family hated because I was worth NOTHING the entire weekend. I couldn't go anywhere unless someone drove me because I NEVER drank alcohol and then hop in the car. That I must say I did right!

Although in my early days of drinking at 19 plus years I did much different. I drove everywhere while being drunk and never thought about it twice. I didn't worry about getting pulled over for drunken driving because I knew I was driving perfect. YEAH RIGHT! How stupid could I be to even think that?

I was just very lucky and lucky that I didn't kill myself or some innocent person on my journeys out to get more beer or going from one bar to another. Very lucky I must say. As i grew older and married those things changed real fast. My wife then drove me and was not happy at all about it.

I always thought that life wasn't any fun unless you were drinking alcohol and having that buzz. Everything seemed like so much fun and things looked so clear like you were in a different world. We the alcoholics are certainly in a different world. A world of denial is what I call it now. Alcohol does exactly what it is suppose to do and that is mess you up and does a great job at it.

My life was ran by the demons of alcohol within, and everything was secondary to my addiction. It is a very sad thing to say, but true at that time I was drinking. I never wanted to stop drinking because I figured, what the hell, the damage is done now so what's the use of getting sober now? I never thought in a million years I would be clean and sober again.

I never wanted to attend any functions that didn't serve alcohol, including family gatherings. If I did attend, I would hide beer in my car and sneak out for a fast can of beer, like no one saw me right? They knew my game, but never said anything to me. I truly was embarrassed of my addiction to alcohol, but that embarrassment still didn't make me stop drinking alcohol.

So if you think drinking alcohol is a great life then you are totally wrong. Being an alcoholic is a horrible life and I pray if you are living a sober life, then keep it that way for the rest of your life. Being an alcoholic is a miserable, lonely life my friends.

If you are the fortunate person that can have one or two social drinks and called it a day, then God Bless you and enjoy! I only wish that was my case, but it is not. I always have the urge to drink, but not the willingness to partake.

The photos are what I live for now. My family, walking my daughter down the aisle on her Wedding Day and doing it completely sober. Alcohol means nothing to me anymore and it will never be a part of my life ever again.

I hope I didn't bore you in my life's journey of being an alcoholic. If you have any comments feel free to write what you think.




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Comments 21 comments

lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Thank you for sharing your personal story with the rest of us. And no, you don't bore us, at least not me. I found the information on this hub useful especially for those who are looking to live life alcohol free. Drunk driving and buzz driving is dangerous and nobody should have to put their own life or the lives of other passengers in danger. You're better off calling a taxi or have a designated driver at all times. Your article raises awareness since it is based on your own personal experiences. It might slap some sense for anyone reading this. Congratulations for staying sober! I'm sure that your wife and children are proud.


SilentReed profile image

SilentReed 3 years ago from Philippines

I suppose writing hubpages articles about your alcoholism is your way of keeping a journal. It's a great tool for re-enforcing your resolve against backsliding. Even though I haven't reach the stage where I can be labelled a functioning drunk. (maybe a non-functioning or barely functioning drunk would be more accurate:) There have been occasions when too much alcohol became destructive. Thanks for sharing, many readers like me do benefit from these articles.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

An important message, Mark, and it will be read and understood by those who need it the most. Thanks for continuing to spread the message and I'm glad the demons are gone my friend.

Peace and happiness to you, today and always

bill


Anna Sternfeldt profile image

Anna Sternfeldt 3 years ago from Svenljunga, Sweden

Thanks for your honesty and courage! Hopefully someone in need will read this. Keep looking at the photos, they are full of beauty, life and love. They are really worth living for and being sober as you say. So enjoy my friend!


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Mariene - Thank you for reading and your kind comment. I hope people read this and get useful information out of it from my experiences of drinking alcohol. Thanks for the congrats and for being a friend of mine.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

SilentReed - Thanks for your kind comment and for reading. yes you are right...writing these articles here and my blog do in fact help me to stay sober. I write in hopes that it will touch someone's life in the world that is suffering from an addiction and to let everyone know there is always hope for sobriety.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Bill, my dear sober friend . Thank you as always for your support and friendship. It so nice to have a friend (sober) that we both can share our experiences of this horrible addiction we used to have. I hope what we write will touch someone's life and they too can write right along with us.

God Bless you and yours Bill.

Mark


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Anna - Thank you for stopping by and reading. Thank you for your compliment on my photos and yes, they do help me to stay sober. I never what to lose that love again.

God Bless my friend!

Mark


english-mike profile image

english-mike 3 years ago from England

Mark

I love your honesty, many people hide their addictions and it is a very lonely path, but once you hit the bottom and some how survive, there are people there to help you. I have found life again and I praise God. I have all the same problems in my life, but they don't look as bad now that I am sober. The Photo's are wonderful your daughters so beautiful and you look so proud, she knows she has a good dad there my friend.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Mike, it is real nice hearing from you. I hope all is well with you my friend. Thank you so much for the kind words and compliments to me and my daughter. yes I am proud and love me family dearly.

Stay in touch and keep staying positive my friend.

Mark


english-mike profile image

english-mike 3 years ago from England

Mark, I was organizing my CD's today ( yeah I know old school, as my daughter calls it ) Found an old CD from a group called the Christians, so gave it a play. There is a track on there called born again. you can here it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_NWkzioKnw

The start of the song goes.

I used to wake In the afternoon.

When the sunshine finally cut through the haze.

I really don't remember that much I just know I wasted a thousand days.

We need protection From this infection.

Something to ease this cruel disease.

A ray of hope in a new direction.

I called to you and you rescued me

Wonder how many people can relate to this.

Just wanted to share that with you.

Mike


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Mike, Thank you so much for sharing and thinking about me. I hope you are doing well. I am off to work now, but I will watch video when I get back home. All the best to you my sober friend. Keep up the great work and thanks for staying in touch. It is always nice to hear from you Mike.

Mark


english-mike profile image

english-mike 3 years ago from England

Have a good day my friend.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

You do the same Mike, Off to work I go now.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

You are an inspiration to many, Mark. Glad you have come through your journey with such strength. You have much to be thankful for, and yes, it is our family that keeps us motivated to continue onward. God bless you.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

teaches12345- Your words are always so thoughtful and heart warming to me. I really do hope I am helping people in our world. Ever since I got sober in 2009 my main goal of course was and is to stay sober and to help others that may have addiction problems.

God Bless you my friend and thank you so much for always commenting and you kind words as well.

Mark


english-mike profile image

english-mike 3 years ago from England

Hello my Friend mark, Hope you are well. Not spoke to you in a while, things were pretty good for a while but my world went crashing down. Rebuilt my life from problems in Feb. Was vulnerable fell in love and did not work out. Anyway, just spent a Month in a Mental Hospital, lol life can be cruel on the road to salvation and I am definitely more stronger from my experiences. My Daughter still gives me her undivided unconditional love, which gives me strength. When I was in Hospital I wrote my experiences each day to give me hope and strength for when I got out. I am thinking of using them to offer other people hope in their quest, what do you think my friend.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Mike, it is so nice to hear from you my friend , but I am saddened to hear that you had problems lately. It is wonderful you have a daughter that loves and cares for you Mike. That is so important to have family by your side in time of need and anytime as well. I think it is a great idea to write on your experiences to help others. That is what I do when I write all these hubs here and on my blog. I just hope what I write has helped someone in the world to get sober. Keep in touch Mike and start writing and helping others. It will do you good too to know that you are helping others. Writing what I write helps to keep me sober Mike, believe it or not.

All the best and God Bless you. Stay in touch Please

Mark


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

You certainly didn't bore me with your story. It's good to know that you were able to turn your life around for the better and that you have made a commitment to never go back to that dark and demonic world you were once in. I can almost bet that there are people out there who are reading this who might think you are forcing your beliefs onto them, but not necessarily. If anything, you are educating and reaching out to others who are going through an alcohol addiction problem.


the clean life profile image

the clean life 3 years ago from New Jersey Shore Author

Doc- Thanks so much for you kind comment as always. You are so sweet and just have to tell you thanks for all your kind words and support to me.

I just pray someone in the world has been helped by my writing.

God Bless you :)

Mark


lovedoctor926 3 years ago

Your welcomed:) Thanks. I'm sure that you're already helping many including those people who claim that you are forcing your beliefs onto others and maybe even those who are no longer your fans either. lol. Doc

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