The Loss Of A Child - The Wound That Never Heals
Cancer Stole My Son In The Deep Of The Night
The loss of a child, regardless of the age, is a wound that never heals. Filled with shock, denial, anger,and total emptiness, the wound that penetrates deep into the heart continues to fester week after week, month after month and year after year.
There is no resolution, only the feeling of finality. Only one question permeates the entire being. Why, why, why? There is no reason - no answers to comfort the bleeding heart. No words to comfort the sting of flowing tears.
My oldest son lost his battle with cancer a few years ago leaving 4 small children alone and broken and me, his mother, with the worst pain of all. What you are about to read is a poem...a humble attempt to describe my feelings about my own loss and the pain of coping at the worst time of my life. I now understand the full meaning of the phrase "no parent should out-live their children."
It's been 6 years now since Todd took his last breath. I still can't bear to look at his photos. Even after all this time it just hurts too much. Does "time heal all wounds" apply to everyone? I have to say NO. Perhaps for some this is true. For me, my wounds are as deep now as that night I gazed at my son's lifeless body, for the final time still wearing his "Laker's" shirt.
Alone and Naked
One Lone Tree On The Edge Of A Cliff
The empty tree stands bare, stripped of all its leaves
Alone and naked
Just one lone tree on the edge of a cliff
Its roots deeply implanted within mother earth,
Tangled and exposed to the elements …hanging on
The Sun is Gone, Never to Return
Cold and empty
Where is the sun? It is gone never to return
The warmth and glow of another time
The Ocean Houses His Ashes
The ocean stretches its arms out wide
It houses the ashes of another time,
The heart cries out…the tree trembles its tears
Every branch , filled with pain ripping like splinters
A Massive Hole Filled With Sorrow
Without its leaves how will it breathe
The night brings sleep and a way to escape
Black and deep…a massive hole filled with sorrow
The wind declares its power, the tree breaks its limb
It can never be replaced.
Todd, Surfer and Guardian of The Ocean
Broken and battered the bark of the tree deceives itself
Imaginary leaves replace what was lost
What will become of the innocent statue that once would sing
Each note drifted away with what was once a beautiful melody.
A Beautiful Message to a Lost Love One
The Hole In The Heart
It is my hope that by sharing my own private feelings that somehow, someway, someone may find support during their grief and pain. Losing a child is beyond understanding, beyond all comprehension. How does one fill the hole that is left in the heart?
The pain that flows through life's blood is buried deep inside the empty, lonely cavern. When it finally surfaces, and it does from time to time, emotions range in a kaleidoscope of shapes and colors. Tears take on a life-of-its-own until finally the mind and body give in to exhaustion. Then, finally, sleep will come at long last.
Oh, to be able to reach out and touch the child just one more time. Just once more please.
© 2010 Audrey Hunt
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