Why Beanstalks Seek the Sun: About Suicide, Life, Hope and Courage

Lost and found footprints.

Namibian steps.
Namibian steps. | Source
True colors.
True colors. | Source

About youth suicide.

Why? Why is there is a sense of hopelessness that we who care, often feel very deeply and intensely at the loss of a child. It is an extremely powerful emotion that undermines all others, more so when we have lost that loved one to suicide. As parents, we can often unwittingly be blind to many of the deeply emotional struggles that our children can and often experience, especially during that period when great hormonal and physical changes are taking place. Generally, we kind of expect our kids to approach their teen years, in a similar manner to how we did. Perhaps that would apply perfectly if the world, its technology and opportunities, didn’t change from one generation to another.

Effectively, it doesn’t take very much to create gapping differences, although in fairness, that is also something that makes having children a wonderful event. Most parents want their children to do better and have more life options than were available to them. Today’s generation certainly do in some respects have greater opportunities and yet in other respects, are exposed to risks that their parents never were. In an online generation there are often perils that offline parents are maybe completely unaware of, especially given the width and depth of social and unsocial networking, which precludes parental involvement.

So what of loss? The loss of our young to suicide is a truly sad and cruel scourge that has no boundaries in regard to age, race, religion or sex. Suicide is becoming a more prevalent problem than most societies are prepared to own up to. There tends to be an extremely negative social stigma attached to suicide, which serves to downplay the existence and ongoing effects of youth suicide, while ensuring that proactive efforts to address the problem openly and honestly are undermined. Youth suicide is not a taboo and should not be promoted as such; it is an unnecessary loss of young lives, an unnecessary event that is killing our children!

'Why Beanstalks Seek The Sun' by Pearldiver, is a poem about youth suicide and what it is to be a parent who has lost a large part of that parent's life. This article is not written as a result of the author losing a child personally to youth suicide, rather it is written as a result of the deep understanding that the author has for all parents who have suffered from this cruel and often silenced waste of beauty and talent. Tell the world what the world has lost and perhaps it will care, as we do.

* Pearldiver *

Copyright © 2011 - 2013 Pearldiver Poetry with all rights reserved

Some people worry more about fallen leaves than human life.

With each leaf we miss them.
With each leaf we miss them. | Source

Such unseen changes in you.

Such change.
Such change. | Source

A futile gentle demeanor.

Vanilla is born.
Vanilla is born. | Source

Beanstalks seeking the sun.

You changed in ways unseen

I remember your fears

How you hated heights

Wouldn’t swing high in the park

You never trusted the swing

Or that I wouldn’t let you fall

I would never let that happen

You grew up to be so fine

Yet unsure and slightly awkward

I put that down to, the nature of the seed

A bean seeking the sun, growing tall

How I looked forward to times together

I never knew how others treated you

Or how cruel were those who bullied

Online there on a page, a crime

Why? Why do they cull the best?

Why do they act like movie wolves?

Why did I never ask if you were okay?

And why, I never guessed?

I never saw the pain behind soft eyes

Only a futile gentle demeanor of childhood

Holding onto final hours before

A dawning of your metamorphosis

Your growth, your wonderful destiny

Why, why did I never see?

How much you needed certainty

How much you feared the unknown

How to fix the broken pieces

How to reach a shattered soul

How to hold you, forever hold you

Just so you would know

Of broken pieces shattered.

I thought I knew.
I thought I knew. | Source
Lotus tigers.
Lotus tigers. | Source

Escapee of the reality.

I always believed I knew you

And I understood your heart

Your quite ways of seeming to be

I never could have seen

Any of the signs that they say

Gives us warning, WARNING

Gives us time, time to stop

To fix the broken pieces

Before they hit the ground

Before they shatter beyond repair

Warning, warning, Why!

There was no damn warning!

And you swung high without fear

And here you hang lifelessly

Now silent, my silent dear

I can not fix the broken pieces

I could not see your pain

Why, why, WHY?

No warning, no signs, Why!

Broken pieces of you now

Embedded within my heart

Broken silence echoing

Shock reverberating damn whys

And here you hang lifelessly

Limp peacefulness in your face

Escapee of the reality of your pain

Yet now you are broken, like my heart

Why? Why could you not say?

I would have taken away the sadness

Helped you grow closer to the sun

Saved our world from this waste

In this crime of fear there is no beauty

No perpetrators caught by remorse

Just we, the preferred victims

Broken, we each in someway broken

By so many disjointed dots of why

Look at the braveness of your fate

Yes you have swung high above your fear

With certainty and purpose

You faced the darkness alone

Weighed down with secret burden

And here you hang lifeless

Now silent, my silent dear

In silence I cut down my child

Silence echoes. Why? Why?

Among the unsaid words

A flood of emotions mixed

Silence cut down this child’s innocence

So our broken pieces shatter more

Limp peacefulness in your face

I close the curtains of your bulging eyes

And I hope you fly with angels

And I hold you to my heart in lateness

And remember you never trusted

That I wouldn’t let you fall

Why do you lay here, my broken lad?

When I close my eyes in every tomorrow

I will see empty fields surrounding me

The barren miles waiting for me to plow

Since you left us here, in broken silence

Lost to the erosion and decay of why

The only rain to bless our broken beans

Falls endlessly from shattered tears now


* Words by Pearldiver *

Copyright © 2011 - 2013 Pearldiver Poetry with all rights reserved

Since you left us here in broken silence.

Where you stood.
Where you stood. | Source

Get to know your children.

Central rising.
Central rising. | Source

#2 What should we do?

'Are You Really Okay?'

Too many look away in shame

Try to cover up in silence, what should be said

They refuse to recognize it’s something more

Than just some crazy mixed up kid

Yet we ignore the failure buried in such apathy

Most no longer know how to stop their fall

Don’t see the dangers in unsocial networks

In fact, it’s probably fair to say

That many kids aren’t known at all

So help them work through their fears, their pain

Ask them everyday, “Are you really okay?”

And let them know how loved they are and why

Build their confidence and self esteem

Help them build on their strengths each day

Give them reasons to endure and achieve

And when they fear the things sent to test them

Show them that you had to face those fears too

They taught you how to believe in life, believe in you

Believe in butterflies and angels, in being true

Teach them to believe there is no failure

In anything they try to do

Beanstalks will always reach for the greatest light

Why? There is no natural need to search darkness

If you plant them in a position to always see their sun.


* Words by Pearldiver *

Copyright © 2011 - 2013 Pearldiver Poetry with all rights reserved

Thank you for reading this piece. If you appreciate this work by Pearldiver, please mark it below. Tell The World - Enough!

Life in blue.
Life in blue. | Source

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Comments 22 comments

barryrutherford profile image

barryrutherford 5 years ago from Queensland Australia

This ticked all the boxes for me so I did the same well Done !

tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

Intense, powerful piece of work!I am so sorry, it could be me....thank you.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Barry, thanks for taking the time to read this work and for your comment. Yes a somewhat tragic subject for many. I hope I have done justice to the issue. Appreciate your support mate.. thank you and take care.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi tnderhrt23, thanks very much for taking the time to read this piece and for your positive and supportive comment. At the beginning of this article, I mentioned that I didn't write this as a result of losing a child. I wrote this for those who have and on their behalf. I do however appreciate the kindness that you offer this world. Cheers.. Take care.

tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 5 years ago from North Carolina


Your Hub is beautiful and well done covering so much information. You did a wonderful job and this is an important topic. Well done!

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi tammyswallow, thank you for your positive input and for taking the time to read and appreciate this piece. I fear I have only really scratched the surface with this, though it is good to know that there are now several good articles on this subject here @ HubPages. I have had the good fortune to meet and understand many parents who have lost loved ones to suicide, so I hope that this does help with their loses. Cheers for that.. take care.

mrpopo profile image

mrpopo 5 years ago from Canada

Beautifully written, and is sure to raise awareness about the dangers of depression and suicide. Glad to see that, great job!

emievil profile image

emievil 5 years ago from Philippines

It's been quite a while since I last read a poem of yours PD. I was really touched when I read this. I don't have a child (yet) nor have I seen any suicide in my family but I can just imagine how it would feel for a parent who lost a child due to suicide. Thank you for this hub. It's really beautiful.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi mrpopo, thanks for reading this work and for your supportive comment. Well I hope this piece helps do that. Cheers for taking the time.. take care.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi there Em, I hope life is good for you.. yes it is awhile since we touched base. Thank you for doing so here, in regard to this piece. I'm glad that you enjoyed my efforts to get a message across. Losing a child, irrespective of age, has to be one of the most tragic events for any parent. Cheers for your positive and supportive input Em.. you take care and be well.

SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 5 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

this is really, really well done...the pics are beautiful - so tender

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hello there Someway, cheers for enjoying this awareness work and for your very positive comment. I really, really appreciate your supportive input and your depth. Thanks also for pointing out my potential 'steak status' after a good grilling! Hahaha take care LRS

tnderhrt23 profile image

tnderhrt23 5 years ago

Pearldiver, I am sorry for anyone who loses a child, most especially in this way. When I said it could be me, one of my sons attempted a few years back and very nearly made it...I have a tender heart for those who are suicidal and for the families and friends they leave behind. This work of yours is important in our world to raise awareness of a growing tragedy. Thank you.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi tnderhrt.. thanks for your response. It seems that we have a lot in common then.. as I also feel the same. I wasn't questioning you in any way.. merely trying to express that I was writing on behalf of others. Thank you for your kind words and I am glad that it wasn't you... take care.

SomewayOuttaHere profile image

SomewayOuttaHere 5 years ago from TheGreatGigInTheSky

ha ha ha....you must have been hungry or maybe I was......later gater...... LRS?

always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

This is beautiful poetry. I saw a commentary on TV about so many young people male and female committing suicide, esp. in the Gay community. They were bullied so badly they chose death over life, how very sad that makes me feel. Thank you for sharing...

A.A. Zavala profile image

A.A. Zavala 5 years ago from Texas

Suicide kills more the person who committed the act. The poem was touching and beautful...

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi there Lady Riding Solo, I've found that with hunger, that you have to push through the pangs and not visualize how tender the food that you crave would be if were able to satisfy the craving. Surely as a pelican hunger is not an issue? Take care Someway.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Ruby, thanks for reading this work and for your support. Yes, the bullying and the methods used is one major factor in youth suicide.. but there are many other reasons as well.

Youth suicide is a huge problem throughout the world. In Korea for example, many otherwise well balanced and highly educated young people are taking their lives as a result of economic meltdown and their inability to accept failure! How sad.. what a waste.. what a cause.

Glad you liked this poem Ruby, thanks for caring.. take care.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 5 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hello Augustine, thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this work. Glad you enjoyed the depth of the poem. Yes each suicide does indeed affect a great deal of people... I hope that pieces like this can help some of those who must endure beyond the act. Cheers for your support.. take care.

Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 5 years ago

Hello Rob ~ You captured the feelings of loss, shock, and brokenness with the question, "Why?" Somehow we were unable to help the child suffering in such pain they could not go on, nor seek solace or help in this world. Who is left but the broken heart? Love, Debby

P.S. BTW I visited from your later work on Life and Hope

http://ow.ly/7NYxw The link in the comments needs correction.

Pearldiver profile image

Pearldiver 4 years ago from Tomorrow - In Words & NZ Time. Author

Hi Debby, thank you for that and for taking the time to comment and fix that link.. I appreciate your support. This subject is so extensive, throughout the world.. I hope that we can all collectively make some small improvement to helping to solve this soul shattering sadness. We lose such talent. Thanks again Debby.. you take care.

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