Why So Many Miss Their Career Calling....Yes, They COULD Have Been THAT Contender

We All HAVE Talents & Gifts Even Though Such AREN'T Recognized

Many go through life, wondering IF & WHY. They wonder IF they'd discovered/nurtured their talents/gifts, they'd be in a better place careerwise. They wonder WHY they NEVER appreciated,, even being dismissive of their particular talents/gifts.
Many go through life, wondering IF & WHY. They wonder IF they'd discovered/nurtured their talents/gifts, they'd be in a better place careerwise. They wonder WHY they NEVER appreciated,, even being dismissive of their particular talents/gifts.
All of us are born w/specific talents & gifts. Others despite talents have particular interests.Some gravitate towards the arts while others are more scientifically/technologically inclined. Others are proficient, even gifted in athletics.
All of us are born w/specific talents & gifts. Others despite talents have particular interests.Some gravitate towards the arts while others are more scientifically/technologically inclined. Others are proficient, even gifted in athletics.
We are born with certain talents & gifts that we must use to fulfill our purpose.A minute percentage of people are HIGHLY aware of their particular talents & gifts,KNOWING what they want to do.The majority of people's talents will SADLY lie DORMANT.
We are born with certain talents & gifts that we must use to fulfill our purpose.A minute percentage of people are HIGHLY aware of their particular talents & gifts,KNOWING what they want to do.The majority of people's talents will SADLY lie DORMANT.

We ALL Have Talents/Gifts


The majority of people go though life wondering as to the whys and ifs. They reflect, pondering as to WHY their talents and/or gifts lay dormant. They also contemplate as to the reason they never recognized, even dismissed such talents and/or gifts. They maintain that IF they have developed those talents &/or gifts, they would have a job/career that they loved. They further realized that they were given such talents and/or gifts for a reason. People have certain talents, gifts, and/or interests. Some have leanings/ attractions to specific subjects/areas.


There are people who are have artistic/creative talents, gifts, and/or interests. They are drawn to the arts whether it is drawing/sketching/painting, dancing, singing, music, writing, and/or other artistic venues. Others have more scientific/mathematical/technological talents and gifts. They are endlessly enthralled with algorithms, genetic theory, and/or programming. Some are very mechanically inclined. They love repairing, even upgrading cars. There are some who demonstrate their acuity in the sports arena, particularly from a very early age.


Dr. Wayne Dyer, psychologist, author, and speaker stated that we all endowed with specific talents which one must use to fulfilling his/her particular dharma or purpose. Some would even go further, asserting that when one is born, he/she has a specific calling which he/she has to fulfill if he/she is to living his/her authentic life. Sadly, only a small percentage of people are fully aware what their talents and/or gifts are. Even fewer know to bring such talents and/or gifts, even particular interests to full fruition.

Influential Factors

Although we are born w/certain talents &/or gifts, there are factors which may PRECLUDE some of us from fully recognizing & utilizing such talents & gifts. Such factors include family & gender expectations as well as one's attitude.
Although we are born w/certain talents &/or gifts, there are factors which may PRECLUDE some of us from fully recognizing & utilizing such talents & gifts. Such factors include family & gender expectations as well as one's attitude.

The Family Dynamic

There are some parents who contend that their children SHOULDN'T stand out in any way.  They maintain that their children should be average & average is BEST.They assert that if their children develop their talents &/or gifts, they will be CONCEITED.
There are some parents who contend that their children SHOULDN'T stand out in any way. They maintain that their children should be average & average is BEST.They assert that if their children develop their talents &/or gifts, they will be CONCEITED.
Some parents are threatened by their children's talents &/or gifts. They are loathe to recognize such because those talents &/or gifts should be THEIRS,not their children's.They denigrate the latter for FEAR that their children will EXCEED them.
Some parents are threatened by their children's talents &/or gifts. They are loathe to recognize such because those talents &/or gifts should be THEIRS,not their children's.They denigrate the latter for FEAR that their children will EXCEED them.
In some families, it is expected that everyone should have SIMILAR talents,gifts, & interests. Any child who exhibit different talents &/or gifts is told to tow the respective family line. If h/she ignores family directives, h/she can be ostracized.
In some families, it is expected that everyone should have SIMILAR talents,gifts, & interests. Any child who exhibit different talents &/or gifts is told to tow the respective family line. If h/she ignores family directives, h/she can be ostracized.
There are parents who feel quite threatened by their children's prodigious talents &/or gifts. They feel is if they are out of their league w/such children.They  see their children as  problematic as they KNOW that such children will EXCEED them.
There are parents who feel quite threatened by their children's prodigious talents &/or gifts. They feel is if they are out of their league w/such children.They see their children as problematic as they KNOW that such children will EXCEED them.
There are parents who contend that their children's specific talents &/or gifts are futile & will not be profitable in the long run. They maintain that their children should develop a talent in an area which is considered profitable.
There are parents who contend that their children's specific talents &/or gifts are futile & will not be profitable in the long run. They maintain that their children should develop a talent in an area which is considered profitable.
Parents w/limited options AREN'T so understanding of their children's specific talents &/or gifts, especially if such is outside their purview. Parents w/more options are more understanding of such differing talents &/or gifts.
Parents w/limited options AREN'T so understanding of their children's specific talents &/or gifts, especially if such is outside their purview. Parents w/more options are more understanding of such differing talents &/or gifts.

Many MISS That MARK Because of Family Influences/Expectations

All of us were born with a specific talent, gift, or what some would call inclination or leaning towards a specific area. However, there are many factors which precludes many people from fully recognizing, developing/nurturing, and really appreciating their unique talents and/or gifts. The three main factors that I will address are family, gender, and one's attitude. However, there are other influential factors such as environmental and other psychosocial factors.

Many children have talents and/or gifts which are not recognized and nurtured by their parents and the other significant adults in their lives. There are some parents who contend that their children should be average and have moderate aspirations. There are a few parents who assert that if their children's talents and/or gifts are nurtured, they will become conceited, even arrogant. Other parents downplay their children's talents and/or gifts, maintaining that their children are like everyone else so their talents and/or gifts are nothing fantastic. However there are parents who are jealous of their children's talents and/or gifts, they are threatened by such wishing that THEY had those talents and/or gifts instead of their children. They are the parents who would do anything to downplay, even denigrate their children's special talents and/or gifts.

There are families when everyone must adapt the same construct. Examples of this include if the parents are technological, then their children must also be so; if they are athletic, then their children must have the same inclinations, and if they have an intellectual bent, their children must also have intellectual leanings. In such families, children who display a different proclivity or talent are oftentimes told that their talents and/or gifts are nonsensical, even worthless. If they continue to display their talents and/or gifts, they are denigrated or ostracized by such parents in order for the latter to tow the familial line in terms of what talents and/or gifts are deemed acceptable and which are ....NOT.

There are parents whose children are so prodigious in talents and/or gifts that they do not know how to deal with their children. They see such children as threats as they feel out of league with their children in terms of talent. Instead of finding avenues in which their children could develop their talents and/or gifts, they see their children as strange, even weird. They feel somehow that their children are abnormal in comparison to other children that they know. They even view their children as problematic because the latter's talents and/or gifts far exceed theirs.

Other parents refuse to recognize and develop their children's talents and/or gifts because in their estimation, such talents and/or gifts have no practical value. They contend that their children's talents and/or gifts will not make them a profitable, even a secure living. Many children with an artistic/creative bent had parents who portend that their talents and/or gifts will never make them a decent living so such talent is discouraged at almost every turn.

Parental/familial purview is also influential as to whether children's talents and/or gifts are discovered, encouraged, and/or nurtured. Parents with a set/limited purview will develop and encourage their children's talents and/or gifts within the former's educational and/or occupational parameters. For instance, a parent with very limited education, experience, and job options will not comprehend his/her child's/children's interests in acting/ballet which he/she deemed to be a precarious profession. This parent will steer the child/children into areas which he/she considers to be more stable/secure. A parent with a vaster education, experience, and job/career options will be more open to encouraging his/her child's talents and/or gifts in areas that is different from the former.



The Gender Dynamic

Although there is unparalleled gender equality, esp. in roles & career options, there are remnants who believe that there should be gender specific roles & careers regardless of the talents &/or gifts of the particular man & woman..
Although there is unparalleled gender equality, esp. in roles & career options, there are remnants who believe that there should be gender specific roles & careers regardless of the talents &/or gifts of the particular man & woman..
Many girls/women w/scientific & technological talents&/or gifts are discouraged from using their talents because it is considered unfeminine to be interested in those subjects. Those w/leadership talents &/or gifts are derided for being bossy.
Many girls/women w/scientific & technological talents&/or gifts are discouraged from using their talents because it is considered unfeminine to be interested in those subjects. Those w/leadership talents &/or gifts are derided for being bossy.
Many women are unhappy in their jobs/careers because they DIDN'T use their natural scientific/technological &/or leadership talents because they were told that they'd be UNFEMININE. So they settle for being a subordinate instead of being in control.
Many women are unhappy in their jobs/careers because they DIDN'T use their natural scientific/technological &/or leadership talents because they were told that they'd be UNFEMININE. So they settle for being a subordinate instead of being in control.
Boys & men are strongly inculcated that artistic & creative talents are viewed as feminine. Those w/ artistic & creative talents &/or gifts are oftentimes ostracized.Those w/ empathetic & nurturing talents are seen as less masculine, even effeminate.
Boys & men are strongly inculcated that artistic & creative talents are viewed as feminine. Those w/ artistic & creative talents &/or gifts are oftentimes ostracized.Those w/ empathetic & nurturing talents are seen as less masculine, even effeminate.
There are men w/artistic &/or creative talents &/or gifts who take jobs/careers which don't fully utilize such talents &/or gifts.They downplay their gifts in order to conform to the conventional masculine role model, never REALIZING who THEY are.
There are men w/artistic &/or creative talents &/or gifts who take jobs/careers which don't fully utilize such talents &/or gifts.They downplay their gifts in order to conform to the conventional masculine role model, never REALIZING who THEY are.

Others Miss The MARK Because of Gender Expectations

Even though there is gender equality which is unparalleled in history, there are remnants of gender specific beliefs-especially in terms of inclinations and careers. Boys and males who pursue creative careers are viewed quite negatively. They are seen as less masculine, even considered to be effeminate or have other pejoratives called them. Conversely, girls and women who pursue scientific, technological, and/or mathematical careers are seen as less feminine. There is even a campaign to have girls go in for STEM subjects i.e. scientific, technological, engineering, and/or mathematical subjects. Yes, there are still a few who maintain that there should be strict gender specific careers.

There are women who were strongly inculcated not only by parents but by other adult authoritative figures that girls/women should not like things that are more technologically based. They are also indoctrinated to never to pursue anything that is authoritative. This results in so many women settling for jobs/ careers that does not fully use their innate talents &/or gifts. There are women who have scientific talents who opt to be nurses because they were told that to be a doctor is in the purview of men. There are women who have talents in leadership who are told that to be bossy was not feminine so they sublimated their talents to be the power behind the throne instead of being the actual power.

There are boys and men who are routinely told not only by parents but other adult figures that boys/men should not be like things that deals with the arts, the soft sciences, and/or any area which is deemed traditionally feminine. They are told that they are leaders, never followers. They are further discouraged from displaying empathy, nurturing, and/or other quality which are seen to be only within the province of girls/women. Boys and male who have artistic and/or creative talents are oftentimes denigrated, even ostracized and considered to be less masculine than boys and men who have scientific, business, and/or technological talents which is seen as more acceptable.

Boys and men are furthermore respected if they have leadership talents and/or gifts. Such talents are seen as the natural proclivity of boys and men. Boys and men who have more empathetic and nurturing talents and/or gifts are somehow viewed as lesser in a masculine culture and society that puts undue emphasis on aggressiveness and toughness. Boys and men who have talents and/of gifts in dancing, design, cooking, and/or other areas which are considered traditionally feminine are not viewed as real boys/real men. As a result of such negative societal messages, there are some boys and men who downplay such talents &/or gifts in order to be seen as masculine by their parents, peers, and/or associates. They go into the acceptable jobs/careers although they are quite miserable in such as their talents and/or gifts will never be utilized.


It's THE ATTITUDE

It is great to have talents and/or gifts but it is naught if one doesn't have the right/winning attitude.There are those w/immense talents/  gifts who are moderately successful while there are those w/moderate talents/gifts who are very successful.
It is great to have talents and/or gifts but it is naught if one doesn't have the right/winning attitude.There are those w/immense talents/ gifts who are moderately successful while there are those w/moderate talents/gifts who are very successful.
One's respective attitude determines whether one succeeds or fails. It influences how one views successes & failures. It reveals if one has what it TAKES to fully use his/her talents &/or gifts.
One's respective attitude determines whether one succeeds or fails. It influences how one views successes & failures. It reveals if one has what it TAKES to fully use his/her talents &/or gifts.
In order to fully develop & utlilize one's talents, one MUST adopt a fearless attitude, especially in the face of negativity & opposition. Those who DON'T adopt such fearlessness, lead fearful, risk averse lives of desperation, wishing, & regrets.
In order to fully develop & utlilize one's talents, one MUST adopt a fearless attitude, especially in the face of negativity & opposition. Those who DON'T adopt such fearlessness, lead fearful, risk averse lives of desperation, wishing, & regrets.
There are those who feel quite resigned.They contend that their talents &/or gifts will never come to fruition so they settle for a job/career that is convenient.They don't have the wherewithal to attain a job/career that is suited to their talents.
There are those who feel quite resigned.They contend that their talents &/or gifts will never come to fruition so they settle for a job/career that is convenient.They don't have the wherewithal to attain a job/career that is suited to their talents.
Some are so resigned that they expect constant failure.They contend that they DON'T deserve success,believing that success is out of their reach.They seem to be constantly afloat,never utilizing their talents &/or gifts- meandering through life.
Some are so resigned that they expect constant failure.They contend that they DON'T deserve success,believing that success is out of their reach.They seem to be constantly afloat,never utilizing their talents &/or gifts- meandering through life.
If they attain a job/career,they will find a way of failing either through self-sabotage,feeling incapable,or by other negative means.His/her feelings of deserving failure becomes a woeful self-fulfilling prophecy.H/she subconsciously FEARS success.
If they attain a job/career,they will find a way of failing either through self-sabotage,feeling incapable,or by other negative means.His/her feelings of deserving failure becomes a woeful self-fulfilling prophecy.H/she subconsciously FEARS success.
There are those who don't optimally use their talents &/or gifts because they fear GREATNESS.  They believe that embracing greatness denotes conceit, even being prideful. So they'd rather settle for a nondescript life of being average, even mediocre.
There are those who don't optimally use their talents &/or gifts because they fear GREATNESS. They believe that embracing greatness denotes conceit, even being prideful. So they'd rather settle for a nondescript life of being average, even mediocre.

Some MISS That Mark Because of ATTITUDE

While it is great, even fantastic to have talents and/or gifts, it means very little if one does not possess the right attitude that goes along with such talents and/or gifts. There are people with immense talents and/or gifts who make nothing of such talents and/or gifts because of their negative attitude. Conversely, there are people with moderate levels of talents and/or gifts who are highly successful because they had a very positive attitude.

Attitude is a very important as to whether one will succeed or fail. It influences how one see both the positives and negatives in life. Although one has talents and/or gifts, in order to attain success, especially high levels of success, one must be really to take risks, even fail at times. If one is adverse to taking risks, it is a very strong likelihood he/she will not succeed, oftentimes leading a very safe but fearful, risk averse life of quiet and acute desperation.

Oftentimes in order to fully utilize his/her talents, one must have a fearless attitude especially in the face of opposition and to the naysayers who maintain that such things has not been and/or cannot be done. People who adapt a fearful attitude never really fully utilize their talents and/or gifts, often listening to and following what others deem is best for them instead of living their own authentic life. Those with fearful attitudes live a life of quite desperation, wondering if they are in jobs/careers which express their true nature, talents, and/or passion. They appear as if they are actors in a play which they have not scripted.

There are those who have resigned attitudes. They contend that they must settle for a job/career that is seen as convenient although their talents and/or gifts are not aligned with that job/career. They have accepted whatever paradigm that their particular talents and/or gifts are not and/or will never be useful. They do not realize that it is up to them to fully realize and use their talents and/or gifts in a job/career that is suited for them. Better yet, if there no job/career tailored made for their talents and/or gifts, they can create such a job/career or a venture that would best utilize their full talents and/or gifts. Those with resigned attitude are the ones who are quite miserable in their jobs/careers because it is not their true profession. They feel that it is much more convenient, even expedient to settle than to really exert the effort to find a job/career or create a venture or enterprise that would better suit their talents.

Another side of this resigned attitude is believing that one did not deserve success. There are people who have talents and/or gifts but they are failures at every job/career endeavor they undertake. They seem to be afloat, never having a job/career which fulfill their talents and/or gifts or their true purpose. If they do undertake a job/career, there is one reason or another that they will fail. It can be self-sabotage, feeling that he/she is not capable, worthy, or up for the job/career, and/or he/she may even take a hated/detestable job/career with the intent of failing.

This person has an attitude of believing that he/she does not deserve success because he/she is afraid of success. He/she does not want the acclaim and/or adulation that comes with success. He/she also does not want the responsibility that comes with success. He/she is quite comfortable with failure because with failure, he/she can find excuses/rationalizations for his/her dire situation and/or circumstances. It is easier psychologically to remain in a state of continuous failure, citing unforeseen/outside circumstances than to face one's demons and access/remedy the causes of failure.

Another subcategory to this resignation is fear of greatness. In order to utilize one's talents and/or gifts at the most optimal level, one has to realize and act upon one's greatness. However, many people are loathe to consider themselves great because that denotes conceit and pride. As a result, they feel that it is safer settling for being mediocre rather than reaching for excellence regarding their unique talents.

So many people don't/won't recognize their talents &/or gifts. They live a life of desperation & resignation. If they had recognized, developed & fully used their talents &/or gifts, they would have easily be the CONTENDERS in their lives.
So many people don't/won't recognize their talents &/or gifts. They live a life of desperation & resignation. If they had recognized, developed & fully used their talents &/or gifts, they would have easily be the CONTENDERS in their lives.

Summary

All of us are born with certain talents and/or gifts. However, only a small percentage of people full recognize, develop, and utilize their talents and/or gifts. The majority of people are either not aware of their talents and/or gifts or fully contend that such talents and/or gifts would not be profitable for them in terms of their jobs/careers. They oftentimes settle for jobs/ careers that are not aligned with their particular talents and/or gifts thus missing their true purpose. It is said that over 50% of people hate their jobs/ careers. If people were aware of their talents and/or gifts, they would have jobs/careers, even other ventures that would utilize their talents and/or gifts at an optimum level thus making them the contenders of their lives.

© 2015 Grace Marguerite Williams

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Comments 4 comments

maramerce profile image

maramerce 22 months ago from United States

I have a hard time getting career opportunities. Some of the time it's because I look so much younger than I am, and I am not taken seriously or given the same opportunities to move up because I don't seem "ready" to the people making those decisions. Some of the time it's because I do my current job a little too well and my immediate manager doesn't see it in his best interest to help me move forward. Some of the time it's just an inability to network. I'm introverted. Also, men who I try to network with always mistake it for romantic interest. :/ It's hard being a professional woman. Especially if you work in any sort of tech field. That being said, I've learned to ask for money and be unapologetic about what I want. Simply, I will take my skills where my pay reflects the company's appreciation of me.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 22 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you for your response. Oftentimes in the corporate world, it is a curse when one does his/her job TOO WELL. This person is somehow doomed as it is not in his/her superior's interest and benefit to promote this person as he/she is TOO VALUABLE to lose.


Michaela Osiecki profile image

Michaela Osiecki 11 months ago from USA

I think it would be really important to consider the implications of mental illness in the "attitude" category.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 11 months ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you for stopping by and responding.

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