40 And Pregnant

AARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!

Another Baby!

A couple of months ago my wife Alison suddenly annouced that she would like to have another baby.

After I got back up of the floor, I replied" Are you out of your mind?", (toned down to comply with the adult content rule of Hubpages).

But after a lot of consideration and several discussions I have come around to the idea and I would be proud to welcome a new member into our family.

Having been already blessed with three wonderful children we have decided to try for a fourth.

At Your Age Are You Mad???

I won't state my wife's age but she is only one year short of when life is said to begin and that is the main cause of my concern. Childbirth can take its toll on even the youngest and fittest of women but many complications can arise in slightly older women, (watching my words carefully for fear of a slap in the mouth).

Many more older women are choosing to have children these days than 20 years ago because they want to concentrate more on their education, careers, travelling the world and having fun before settling down tostart a family.

Age though is an important matter to consider when considering having a child because the older that you are the more chance there will be of complications during pregnancy and child birth.

Miscarriage is more common in older women, there is more possibility of the mother to be contracting Gestational Diabetes. High Blood pressure in the mother is another concern, there is an increased possibility of Breach birth, older women are more prone to have a prolonged labor, and the push reflex when the baby is coming out can be weaker in older women.

There are also risks to the unborn baby of older mothers, The incidence of congenital diseases such as Down’s Syndrome,Trisomy 18 and Spina bifida increase in babies born to older mothers statistics show that 1 out of 100 babies born to mothers aged 40 have downs syndrome.

There is a test that can be taken during pregnancy that can tell you if your unborn child has Downs Syndrome,Trisomy 18 or Spina bifida but it has a slight possibility of causing a miscarriage, an Amnio centesis, A needle is usually inserted through the mother's abdominal wall or at the end of the vagina, and through the wall of the uterus into the amniotic sac. miscarriages are rare but possible because sometimes the needle puncture will not heal and the amniotic fluid leaks out.

Lets give it a try then

The friends and family that we have informed of our decision to try for another child think that we are both completely bonkers and they have even tried to talk us out of it.

We have weighed up the pro's and cons and our decision still stands, all that stands in our way at the moment is that my wife has a contraception implant in her arm and it will have to be removed before we can go any further.

The appointment has been made to remove the implant and we will wait and see what happens after that.

If we are successful and my wife does become pregnant we will be over the moon, but if we try and she doesn't become pregnant we will have at least tried, I know that if we didn't at least try we would both regret it for a long time.

wish us luck

Have Your Say

What do you think of our decision?

See results without voting

Update

My wife gave birth to baby Jason, all went well during her pregnancy although Jason came into the world a month earlier than expected. Both my wife and I are glad that we decided to have another baby and are delighted with the outcome.

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Comments 36 comments

Nannette profile image

Nannette 8 years ago

I like your prospective, go for it, whatever happens happens.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Good luck, as someone with a fertility problem, I really hope you do manage to have another healthy child, you deserve it!


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 8 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks Misty and Nannette for your comments, Misty I hope that you have success too....JIMMY


allshookup profile image

allshookup 8 years ago from The South, United States

We had fertilty problems when trying to get pregnant. Took us 3 years. But, only 4 months after we started going to a Chiropractor. The Chiro got our bodies in line and they started to do what they should have been doing. I got adjusted a couple times a week all the way through my pregnancy and after. I really believe that that's what got our fertility problem fixed. I had taken all the meds, took my temp at a certain time every day, all of that other stuff too. It was too much and our lovelife got to be a job rather that be full of enjoyment like God plans for it to be. It took a couple months of visits to get our bodies in line. Then I had to take the time to learn to relax again because I had stressed myself out because I couldn't get pregnant. Then, boom, pregnant. Just thought I'd share my story with you because I know how frustrating it is to want one so bad and can't get that way. I'll remember you both in my prayers. Blessings to you and your family!


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 8 years ago from West Virginia

I hope you have a beautiful baby. You know that the more babies the less the mom has to do! My daughtere who is having a baby, yes my first grandbaby, and she is 32 years old! She's having a boy sometime around Dec. 6!!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Golly, my birthday is Dec 4th !


SirDent 8 years ago

Doctors said my wife couldn't have any children. Guess what??? THEY WERE WRONG! If you really want another child then go for it. At least now you know more than you did before about raising children. ;)

Misty, My son's birthday is December 4th also.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Thanks Jimmy, I hope we do too, but the specialist thinks there is little hope without the IVF we can't afford.


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 8 years ago from West Virginia

Misty,I don't know if you will believe me or not but have your doctor check on yur ovaries==something really small but there. They will only find it through exploratory.


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 8 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

It looks like you've made up your minds, so I wish you all the luck in the world. I know mothers have their own yearnings, but, as a man, I can't help wondering why it's so important to have another child when you already have three. It must be the age-old human urge to reproduce. Best wishes.


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 8 years ago from West Virginia

William,

Having children is more than a need to re[prduce! Children are fun and they bring Joy to people. It is fun to watch them do all thier firsts and to go on to college and be a person in the world. It is also a chance for the child to come into this life and accomplish his desires and joys too. Look at it from a different angle!!


Stacie Naczelnik profile image

Stacie Naczelnik 8 years ago from Seattle

Congratulations on your decision, and all the best!

I want to point out, however, that while there are risks to consider for older women during pregnancy, there are also risks when older men propagate.  There has been some recent research that shows that just because a man can create a child at an older age, it doesn't mean he should.  

Jimmy, I'm not at all trying to discourage your family's decision, but want to point out that the age risks do not only lie with the woman's age.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 8 years ago from North America

I am afraid that the research shows also an increase in frequency of autism in infants of males at or over 40. However, there is good genetic testing available and if you want another child and can well afford another, success to you !


Moon Daisy profile image

Moon Daisy 8 years ago from London

If after three kids you're happy to have another one, then you must be enjoying parenthood, producing lovely children, and be doing something right!!  I've also been told that the more kids you have, the less additional effort each one requires.

Good luck to you both!


amy jane profile image

amy jane 8 years ago from Connecticut

Best of luck Jimmy! Go for it! We have three girls and I cannot imagine adding anymore chaos to our lives - but I do undertand the desire. I wish you and your family the best. :)


stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 8 years ago from Bend, Oregon

oh Jimmy!! As a mom of 4, who am I to say "dont go for it?" But remember, the number of pregnancies and the age of the mom increases your chances of multiples. That's what happened to my husband and me. We were "going for 3" and got twins the last time around. Either way, a child (or children) are always a blessing. I wish you ALL the best!!


Shirley Anderson profile image

Shirley Anderson 8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

Sounds like you've made the decision that feels right for you. Best of luck!


jimmythejock profile image

jimmythejock 8 years ago from Scotland Author

Thanks guys for all of your comments and support, both Alison and myself appreciate your kind words.....jimmy


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Lady Guinevere, unfortunately for me I have already had all the exploratory surgery and my problem is that due to past endometriosis and possibly an infection, all of my reproductive system is a mass of adhesions. They tried to do the dye test through my tubes, but they couldn't even find the ovary to see if the dye had emerged. He says it is highly unlikely I will get pregnant without IVF, but at £3500 per time, with a strong chance of needing around 3 attempts to achieve success, it is way outside of our budget, and of course we have little time to save the money due to my age (38).

Sir Dent, Fancy that, your Son and my own birthdays being the same date. Small world eh!

Jimmy, good luck for your next baby, I reckon you must be a great Dad for any child to have. :)


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 8 years ago from West Virginia

Well that was what I was seeing then. Have you tired adoption? I know that isn't your own, but they do become your own when you start to love them. I hope that something works out.


Misha profile image

Misha 8 years ago from DC Area

My aunt's youngest son is about 20 years younger then her older one, with the same farther. She has lots and lots of fun with him. :) I would say go for it Jimmy - and good luck! :)


sandra rinck 8 years ago

Good luck! Don't forget to have fun while trying. ;p


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 8 years ago from North America

Well, my father's oldest sister was 30 years older and she was his favorite, so separation by years in no big thing. He and the other siblings (grandfather outlived 3 wives) piled into a Model A Ford and drove across the US from the East to Colorado to see her in the late 1920s, buying gasoline at drug stores. She loved it when they arrived and stayed a while.


LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

LdsNana-AskMormon 8 years ago from Southern California

I gave birth to five children, who are almost all grown. I just found out that two of my daughters are expecting in April. This will bring the total count of grandchildren to NINE.

Now, I am only telling you this because you need to know what you are getting yourself into, beyond the initial 18 year investment...

Joy! A continued return of joy joy joy! My life is filled with light, because of all of my children, etc...

Go ahead and increase you happiness, by all means... go make a baby! LOL

tDMg

LdsNana-AskMormon


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 8 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

Thanks Lady Guinevere, but at this point adoption is not the route I want to go down, I really want one of our own, and a baby that will grow up looking like us. When you say "this must have been what you were seeing then", do you mean you have some level of psychic ability, as this would fasincate me ?


Joyce_RL profile image

Joyce_RL 8 years ago from Philippines

Go for it!babies are great blessings from God and we should welcome them into the world with happiness and open arms. You know, you're very lucky, because I, myself is eager to have a baby of my own, but, you know, at 34 I am still single and no boyfriend, but I really want to conceive!

Tell me honestly (because I still did not spoke to any doctors), am I at risk already to bear children at my age?I am 34 and i want to have atleast 3 children when I am settle down. Hopely I can find one this year, hope God will provide for special someone (laugh!)..Thanks and Goodluck for your new baby.


gypsydancer55 profile image

gypsydancer55 8 years ago from Vista CA

I had my last baby at 42 and everything went fine...30 minutes in labor and 5 minutes later she pops out. Results... a healthy #7.2oz baby girl. I would have had another but it ended in miscarrage, age...43.


Lissie profile image

Lissie 8 years ago from New Zealand

My mother was 39 when she had me, 43 when she had my brother. I was 31 and he was 27 when she died aged 70. She never met either of our life-partners, she never knew grandchildren: and they will never know her. Just another perspective but I do feel a little robbed.


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 8 years ago from Florida

I understand the concerns. I have thought about having another child as well. My daughter is 5, and my son passed away. The desire for another child is on my mind constantly. I have recently added two more children to my family in the form of my boyfriend's children and they are both older than my daughter. I debate the decision over and over in my own head, and I still haven't come to a decision. Best of luck to you and your wife!!!


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

My aunt had a child when she was forty and working more than sixty hours a week. It is possible for women to do a great deal and I am sure you wife will be just fine.


2patricias profile image

2patricias 8 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

Children are a source of joy beyond measure. They are also tiring! Good luck to you and your wife, but if you do succeed say 'yes' to every offer of help.


William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey 8 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

Lady Guinevere, I have two children of my own (now grown up.) Your comment would indicate that I'm opposed to anyone having children. I'm not. The question here is about having a fourth child, and at an age when having children is not all that common. Childbirth is, perhaps, the major consideration, but also to be considered is the fact of life that as we age it becomes more difficult to raise children because of physical ability or infirmity. At an advanced age, people are more suited to be grandfathers or grandmothers. I simply think that prospective parents should consider all the pros and cons. Again, I wish Jimmy and Alison well whatever their final decision may be.


Nolimits Nana profile image

Nolimits Nana 8 years ago from British Columbia

Just had to put in my 2 cents worth. My mom had her last child at age 46, and he was perfectly normal. She had 4 children after the age of 39 (I'm one of them), and no problems. My daughter is 40, and expecting a baby in January. So..what does all that mean? Nothing, really. Everyone is different. Genes play a big part. If you both really want another child, then go for it!


LondonGirl profile image

LondonGirl 8 years ago from London

My mother had her first child (me) at 30, and her 4th and last aged nearly 38. It all worked out pretty well - best of luck!

You can't tell what will happen in the future anyway. My other half and his brother were orphoned when their parents died, he was 26, his brother was 19. But my in-laws were only aged 51 and 53.


laura 7 years ago

I have 4 children my first at 24 and my last at 40 no problems at all. I sadly just miscarried at 5 weeks I am 42 now so dont know if I will be able to have another one. The first 3 are from my first marriage thats why I would like a full brother or sister for my last one. Both my parents are still alive, fit and well, my father is 81 and my mother is 78 they also had me late. good luck.


Specialk3749 profile image

Specialk3749 7 years ago from Michigan

I'm 43 and pregnant with #8! God gave us 40-50 years to reproduce. I believe all the doctors want to do is find a reason to scare us. Congratulations on your decision!

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