Are You Self-Absorbed?
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A colleague once told me that the reason I never cared much for gossip is that I'm actually self-absorbed -- too absorbed with myself and what's going on in me and my life to care much about others. And then I wonder? Is that even a crime? So sue me! I know I'm not stepping on others to get ahead. I don't steal from others 'coz that's bad. As far as I know, I don't even wish others harm.
An online dictionary defines self-absorbed as "preoccupied with one's own thoughts, emotions, life, etc."
I don't really sense anything wrong with that. Do you? Now if I were to be more like another related term "self-centered," that would be a completely different story.
I went on to research further about "self-absorbed" and found a site that actually describes it as a negative trait. Here's a checklist as described by the Global Advanced Personality Test Trait Description:
* does things primary for the benefit of himself/herself
Not! That's not me for sure. OK so I sometimes do things for my own benefit. But I really try to make sure that no one gets hurt in the process. Hey, don't you do things for your own benefit?
* puts his/her feelings first
A-ha! This would have been me a long time ago. I've grown older to know better and be more sensitive to the feelings of others. But I can be rather blunt with friends or family if I believe it would be good for them.
* can't do anything when he/she doesn't feel good
Ha ha! This is me still. But I try to do something about the feeling, like take long walks or take a break, esp. when there are stuff that need to be done or accomplished. I believe I'm too old to sulk in one corner.
* prefers personal glory over team victories
So not me! I'm a team player. Gone are the days when I'd rather have the glory to myself. Sharing is caring! It feels happier when more people share the victory.
* gets angry when he/she don't get what he/she wants
Oh my! LOL! I'm no brat. Besides, I do believe that what we want is not always what's best for us. Not me either!
* dramatizes his/her suffering
Oh please! The world is not about me. LOL! And I do believe that the more you dramatize your suffering, the more you will attract more suffering! Better look at the positive side and consider suffering as part of life and your learning process.
* superficial, manipulative, narcissistic
Not! Not! Not! And I truly believe that to be true!!! ^_^
This is such an eye-opening exercise and I enjoyed writing this post. It enabled me to take a look at how someone viewed me and allowed me to talk or write about it. So was my colleague wrong about me? Probably not. She was probably seeing me from that part of the Johari window that's only visible to her but not to me. I guess I can take it as hard as I can give it. If someone has something to say about me, I'd rather he/she say it to my face. Besides, I did appreciate the feedback. Thanks for reading my post!