Achieving Your Preferred Goal In Life

If you're at crossroads in your life, you're actually at an intersection where you can once again achieve your goals to get back on track.
 We can get back on track by taking advantage of crossroads in life.
We can get back on track by taking advantage of crossroads in life. | Source

You might feel comfortable with your present state of affairs. This is most likely because you are used to it.

But at the same time you feel as if you are missing out on goals you have in mind.

Think back. Did you have a goal early in life that you seem to have neglected?

What’s really going on? I think it's one of two things:

  • Either we are not planning ahead and just letting things happen.
  • Or we are allowing some other deeply hidden “feeling” to control us.

I have noticed that many of my friends fluctuate between making important decisions and then ignoring their desire to follow through.

I can speak from experience. So I can offer some guidance in this area.

I started to wonder why I sometimes let life bring me whatever may come along. At other times I would feel the need to focus so much attention on making something happen that I make it become a reality. I do that when it's important enough to me.

I felt the urge to investigate why we sometimes just let karma bring us what it will, even thought we know from past experience that we have the power to achieve our important goals.

My conclusion was that those other things are not as important to us, but we don't realize it and we keep thinking about it anyway.

This constant dwelling on things we think we want, but that we never work at achieving, only uses up our energy.

It's much more satisfying to be totally clear on what we want -- and to go and get it. To succeed at that, we need to do everything in our power to get there. And we don’t let anything get in the way.

We Need to Understand What's Going On in Our Minds

We can control our destiny by putting the pieces of our life back together..
We can control our destiny by putting the pieces of our life back together.. | Source

We know what our dreams are. But there is one thing that may be hidden from our conscious mind. We may have a fear of our destiny.

It's just a matter of getting in touch with what we really want and need. I know. Sometimes I find myself going in one direction while I really want to go a completely different path.

After a lot of thought on why I do this, I realized that the desire to do something, and the need to do it, are two different things.

What's the Difference Between Needs and Wants?

If we could only stay better in touch with our needs, recognize their importance to us, and appreciate them for what they are, then we would have more control over our destiny by consciously putting the right pieces of our life together.

When I discuss these things with friends, some of them tell me that it’s fate, and they have no control over it. But I think there is no accident that things turn out the way they do. We do make choices.

I have made wise choices. But I am so very much aware of the way I wanted my life to turn out. I didn’t put effort into making a reality out of my most wanted desires. I only focused on my needs.

That lack of effort means one thing, that I probably was happy with things as they were. That’s an important point to understand.

What Can Stand in the Way of Success?

When a friend tells me that they want to follow a different path in order to make things better, and I show them what they need to do to make it happen, they suddenly become frightful.

They come up with all sorts of reasons why not to do it. Then later when things get worse for them, they complain about it.

Some people refuse to take responsibility for controlling their own destiny.
Some people refuse to take responsibility for controlling their own destiny. | Source

They are in denial. They blame their life situation on other things. They refuse to take responsibility for controlling their own destiny.

They feel that life is what it is. They blame it on other things. They claim they are born into it.

I won’t argue with that. For there are realistic situations where people simply are in the wrong place at the wrong time -- or born into the wrong environment.

But for the sake of this discussion, I am referring to people who are lucky to be in the right place at the right time, born into the right family, or however you want to express it.

They are able and willing.

Well, maybe just -- able.

So with that understood, let me continue.

We Do Control Our Destiny

Sure, there’s a chance things will go your way even if you do nothing about it. And sometimes coincidences happen and we end up being very lucky. But our destiny can be adjusted by our own actions. I know. I’ve done it. But it’s rare.

So much more often, I would find myself missing out on my true desires. I find that something gets in the way that creates an alternate path through life that is not leading towards the goal I thought I had.

Life goes on, and when I look back I discover that I went astray. And many years later, it’s not so easy to retrace our steps and do it right.

How Crossroads in Life Can Bring New Opportunities

Crossroads in life are where we can get back on track.

Sometimes we lose sight of what we really want in life because other things come up and get in the way. But opportunities do present themselves from time to time. I call these opportunities crossroads because they are actually a combination of paths that come together, one of which may very well be the one we meant to be on all along. When we miss our goals and dreams, we can take advantage of crossroads in life to get back on track.

Imagine if we can go back to a fork in the road -- and take the other path in life. If the two roads are somewhat parallel, they may crisscross here and there.

We may end up finding a crossroad in our life that appears every so often. That is, when we come to a situation in our life that suddenly allows us to make a turn and follow a different path. It's important to recognize it when it happens.

You might think of it as a prize or a gift. Or maybe it's just a chance thing that comes along once in a blue moon. But when it happens, it's an opportunity to make a change. And if we are not ready for it, we'll miss it and we'll let it pass by, like two ships passing in the night.

I'm giving you the answer here!

When we come to a crossroad -- when our other ship passes by -- embrace it and take advantage of it, for it may happen only once in a lifetime.

This is an opportunity for us to analyze the situation and make a decision to take the crossroad, which may put us back on the path we really wanted to be on in the first place. Let's not lose sight of that!

Why Some Things In Life Never Change

The following discussion is about what we really want in life and what's stopping us.

We're really in control of our own lives.
We're really in control of our own lives. | Source

We usually never stop to think and analyze were we are in life with respect to what our dreams had always been. We have busy lives and time has a way of passing us by.

If we feel that something is missing and our dreams are unfulfilled, we need to put a little effort into analyzing where we're going with our lives.

Wishing that things were different is not going to help. If that's what you're doing, you may be in denial. It's up to us to make changes in our own lives. We really are in control.

Those who are in denial may not think they are in control to make a life-change. They think life just happens to them.

I see it differently. I know what the things are in my life that have not changed. I also know what it is that I want to change. At least I think I do.

I accept the fact that I am the one who is keeping certain things from changing. It takes some time, though, to sit and think about it. But once we get in touch with our feelings, and our present reality comes more into focus, we can start to do something about changing what's missing.

Do We Want Things Desperately Enough to Make it Happen?

My theory is that when things don't turn out as we think we want, it may very well be because we don't want those things strong enough to work at it. It's simply not that important to us. And if we think it is, we're in denial.

Maybe we are fooling ourselves. We wake up every day feeling that we are missing out on some aspect of our life that we have always dreamed of having, but it never happened.

Even though it may be something that never happened, it may be more precise to say that we never let it happen. More importantly, we never made it happen. We are responsible for writing our own life script.

In my case, I find that the things I feel are really important to me do happen and they do work out as I intend. I have a strong feeling for the purpose of my life as well as what my important needs are. And those aspects of my life are fulfilled.

Give yourself credit for those accomplishments you have indeed achieved. They are real because you truly really wanted them. You worked at them and you madethem happen.

Forget about those things that are simply not happening. Can you finally admit to yourself that they are not that important to you? If they were, you would have gotten into gear by now, putting your energy towards making them a reality.

Why We Repeat Certain Patterns

I just explained my theory why some things never happen, but what about things that do happen in our life that we really don’t like? More importantly, things that we keep repeating and that become a theme of our “life story.”

If you find this happening in your life, don’t be too hard on yourself. There is a good reason for it, and it may have something to do with a painful event in your past that you don’t even remember, an event that is hidden from your conscious mind.

Pain may block our ability to proceed with our dreams.
Pain may block our ability to proceed with our dreams. | Source

This pain can make us repeat our “life story” until it works for us. But it may never work. We need to heal ourselves, in some way, from the pain we experienced in the past.

Consciously we know there is something else we want in our life. It never happens because we don’t let it happen. So we end up having a different life story than the one we would really want. This may be due to some unresolved past issue. We may not even know what it is. But it's blocking us.

We may never discover the things that happened in our past that set the stage for the path we follow. But it will help us focus and move forward if we acknowledge that everything we are today is a result of our past experiences.

We need to focus our energy on what we know we want. This will help so we can stay tuned in with the desires we have.

Fine-tuning Our Life to Fulfill Our Dreams

Fine-tuning our life can be done with a little focus on important key elements. You need to manage you time, make plans and create concepts that lead towards your goals.

Practice finding opportunities among all the various options you are aware of. If you don’t see options, analyze some strategies and make your own options. Get a mentor to help. Any friend can be a mentor by just having someone to discuss things with.

Powerful changes can take place, but you need to conserve your energy in the process. Look at it this way... we have limited energy, just like any machine. Save that energy within yourself for the more important events in your life.

Pay attention to those parts of your life that are changing and becoming what you want. Those aspects of your life are working because you want them and need them. You are making an effort and putting your energy into those things.

Remember my theory about things that are not turning out as we think we want… We don't want those things bad enough to work hard enough to make them a reality. So my suggestion is to give up on those things and use your energy to work harder on those parts of your life that are already working and make them even better than they are.

Those are the things you really want anyway. Why? Most likely because you already must have done something to bring it about in some way. When you start seeing that, you'll know were to focus your energy.

What I’m saying is this…stop worrying about “what is not” and use your energy to help make “what is” even better.

You may find that your life is already on track and nothing important is missing. It just needs a little fine-tuning to fulfill your dreams.

© 2012 Glenn Stok

More by this Author

Comments 6 comments

Jlbowden profile image

Jlbowden 4 years ago from Long Island, New York

Hi Glenn:

You brought out some very useful, as well as interesting points in your article.

Some of us are very lucky, but I do not always believe in luck either.

As you said we could have been brought up in a family that had given us everything from the start, or possibly we were even born with a silver spoon in our mouth, so to speak.

But in actuality we achieve and accomplish our goals right from the beginning with a little hardwork.

Human beings are somewhat like cats. If you compare someone who takes one road in life, they may always stay on that same road and never accomplish anything. They in turn like that cat, may be a creature of habit.

Many people including myself at times tend to be procrastinators, but again, not all of the time. You get what I'm talking about.

So if there is a chance for us to go back and to choose that other path, at the crossroads you were speaking about, we than may indeed find the a golden opportunity, that we may have missed on the first road we ventured down.

Somehow when I further read over your article, it sounds almost as if you are trying to convince yourself about things you did right along the way, or didn't do right!

But what it really boils down for all of us is. We should be very happy and grateful for what we do have.

Many people throughout the world are not so fortunate as we all are. Nevertheless very useful and interesting information. Thanks for an enjoyable read.


Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 4 years ago from Long Island, NY Author

Jim, Thanks for being the first to read this. I found your analogy of a creature of habit very interesting. That sure is another way of explaining what I was getting at.

You are also right with your last statement. I am grateful for what I have. And as I mentioned in the Hub, there are people born into the wrong environment. They are not so lucky. That really means that the rest of us have no excuse for procrastinating. Thanks for your insight.

Sue B. profile image

Sue B. 4 years ago


I really liked this hub. I too ponder these things!

I find myself in a situation now where I am making important decisions and what you wrote really spoke to me. I tend to be the person looking for a new way to move closer to my goal. I think it takes a lot of patience and perseverance not to give up.

Your hub made me think about the thoughts I have had about determining our own destiny versus over-controlling our lives. Realizing you have more power over your life is great but too much of something is usually a bad thing. You describe people who have let go of their controls and gave up their power. The flip side is the person over-controlling their lives and not allowing new paths and new options they did not originally think of to unfold.

I like what you wrote about the crossroads to get back on the path you want. What I find interesting is sometimes this crossroads, or alternate route, that brings you back to the original goal may even be a better way to get you to where you want to be.

Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 4 years ago from Long Island, NY Author


That is a very enlightening comment that you made and I thank you for that addition. I actually never gave thought to that concept. That over controlling our lives can interfere with being open to new ideas. 

Not controlling our lives at all is definitely a bad thing. But over controlling is clearly bad too, as you had indicated. 

We definitely need to have an open mind to new paths and concepts that may come along. So keeping a middle ground on our control is very important.

I'm glad you like my concept of crossroads. You added an additional thought to my idea however. And that is that the crossroads may bring us to a better path than we had before. I like that. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Always good to see you around.

Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

Jo_Goldsmith11 4 years ago

You are so right in every thought you have perfectly written here. I have saved this and will reflect on it when I have the doubts that sometimes come into my life. It appears you are not letting any ship pass you by. Good for you! I shared and a definite vote up! Thank you for this useful, awesome and interesting piece of art. :)

Glenn Stok profile image

Glenn Stok 4 years ago from Long Island, NY Author

Jo_Goldsmith11, Well, actually I have not been so good at that as you say. I have let ships pass in the past, and I regret it now. This is one reason why I write about these types of things, with hopes of saving someone else from making similar mistakes. I try to reflect on how I missed certain opportunities and look for ways to improve myself going forward, so as to still achieve goals that are not yet met. It's never too late. The best time to start is "now." Thanks for your kind words and for your vote up.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Glenn Stok profile image

    Glenn Stok1,130 Followers
    111 Articles

    Glenn Stok is an award-winning author who likes to share his ideas and inspiration to help make life happier, healthier, and more enjoyable.

    Click to Rate This Article